Social Services..

[ash677x]

I'm at risk of losing my two girls to Foster care..
So basically, my children are on the child protection register because I tapped my daughter on the hip.. for confirmed physical chastisement.

There has been a safety plan in place for weeks now.. where I have to be supervised 24/7 with the children, someone has to be in the room with me 24/7, and if they leave the room we have to go with them. Totally unrealistic. Now my partner and family members, have done everything to make this work, rearranging work days, working from home etc, they all work.

I have been going to my mums during the day, as my brothers there, now he's studying upstairs, but he's still in the house, My old social worker was completely fine with that.

Now my children are on the Child Protection Register, i have a new social worker.

She came out on Tuesday.. asked where my brother was, I said he's upstairs studying, it was never a problem till you came in, she stated he has to be in the room 24/7. He's a 21 year old man, he is studying for his third year at university, he has a social life!!!

Now, I'm okay to be on my own without my kids, I have begged social services for a support worker to supervise me, emergency childcare..

I asked her on Tuesday about childcare, this "has to be brought to panel" but three weeks ago, on a Thursday afternoon, she offered me emergency childcare for the next day because i had no supervision.

They are setting me up to fail.. its like they want to get the chance to remove my children because they know its completely impossible for someone to be with me 24/7😪

Has anyone had experience with this.. and the outcome?

It would be quite something that SS /CS have the time to be that involved for a tap on the hip.
So many awful things happening to poor children because they don't have the time to properly be involved in everything they should/need to be.

OP, no one can offer advice unless you are honest.

It has to be more than a tab on the hip, I agree with others.

My advice would be to be cooperative and honest with social services. Do what they tell you and show that you are willing to address your issues and improve your parenting, for instance by taking parenting classes.

Agree with PP. This isn’t true. Tapping a child doesn’t lead to this.

What they said. There's a large chunk of something missing.

This.

Is this actually a thing, parents being supervised 24/7 in order to keep their children safe from harm?

What did you actually do to your child?

As a foster carer myself I can just say that social services are massively under staffed, lack budget and time. They prioritise. As such I am certain there is much more to this story. Social services don't do this for a 'tap on the hip'. Something much more serious has gone on.

You beat your child. Just admit it.

There is so much missing from this post. There has to be.

I think if you want advice, you have to start by being completely honest in your posts.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this - it sounds really hard.

I think that in this situation that you need to look for the least worst outcome. Can you see a solution where your children don’t go into foster care?

If you aren’t able to keep to the conditions (and I get that they are very hard) then they will go into foster care.

For example if they lived with your parents and you spent time with them in the week and they came home on the weekends when your partner is there. Would that be better than foster care?

Or you moved out of the family house and your partner parented alone with you spending every evening and weekend with them. Using childcare during the day. Would that be better than foster care?

I also think that you will reduce the risk of them being taken if you can show that you are actively trying to change the situation for the better. So, ask to be booked onto a parenting course and turn up to every session. If you have any drug or alcohol struggles put in some professional support and get sober. If you have any unresolved trauma or anger issues ask the gp to proscribe you some therapy.

I know that it is really hard to detach emotionally from what is happening. But your best chance of keeping the kids is to stop worrying about if social services are right/fair/helpful and instead make a list of every single thing they ask you to do and do it. Act helpful, friendly and engaged with them. Ask regularly if there is anything else you can do. Basically really lean in to the process even if you hate it.

If your children are on a CP plan and part of that plan is 24/7 supervision for you with your children this is an unworkable CP plan and the local authority should be issuing care proceedings to remove the children (if they believe the risks are so high you should never be with them unsupervised) or remove this impossible expectation.
if you're really at risk of them being removed then they must be in PLO which would entitle you to a solicitor who would certainly have challenged this impossible expectation and it would not be in place. This would be oppressive, if it were genuinely the case.
further, it would be impossible to meet the threshold for child protection planning for one smack so in summary none of this adds up.

No.
I f the level of concern was that high they would be in court seeking removal.

It is actually a thing.

I don't want to to into too many details as too outing and they are distant relatives.

In this case the husband is considered a risk and he's not to be unsupervised with the children. As the wife is seen as a protective parent, she's allowed to supervise and the husband is allowed to stay in the family home.

The children are not on a child protection plan or on a child in need plan and social services have closed the case.

I work for children's services, I'm part of a large early help team and can confirm, categorically, that there is way more to this than you are sharing.

For context, two of the families I'm currently working with have a small history of physical chastisement.
Neither case meets the threshold for social care involvement and will remain with early help if both families are happy for early help to work with them.

For anyone on here to help you, you need to tell us exactly why you are with social care. Their threshold goes way way beyond a 'tap on the thigh'

Start by being honest with yourself. It will help you to realise what the actual problem is, and then you can think about how to put it right.

Not sure, I was under the impression that it takes a lot to be on a child protection register? I had social involved when I was pregnant to put support in place as I was high risk of developing prenatal conditions. They said that for protection or removal of children it takes a lengthy court process and they have to evidence that all support, courses and education has been tried first. So is there more to this?

There is no way that your child is having this much intervention for a "tap on the hip"

You must comply with all their strategy's. Supervised means exactly that. Someone has to be with you not upstairs or anywhere else

That might be part of a safety plan.
however OP has been told someone needs to be in the room with them at all times. That is impossible.
we may put in a safety plan for example that someone else needs to be present with the risky carer in the home. Or someone else needs to do bathing/toileting. But to say someone has to be in the same room at all times is draconian. If you are that concerned you should be in court.
also, such a safety plan would only be in place if there were literally no other carer who could look after them. I've put in place similar with a lone parent who was supported by the grandparents but the GPS wouldn't look after the kids without the parent. The second parent was not around and therefore not able to take them. If the OP lives with the children's father (not clear) then they would just have asked the OP to move out and stay elsewhere while they risk assess.

Maybe social services do things differently in different areas of the country.

The husband isn't allowed to be alone with the children at all and the wife has to supervise at all times.

He didn't have to leave the family home as the wife is seen as protective and adhering to the safety plan.

I think social services also have a high caseload and need to close as many cases as possible where children are adequately protected l.

Setting this up as a safety plan then closing the case is bonkers. Truly impossible for everyone. It's also pretty oppressive and unethical. There must be an exit strategy for safety plans like this, people should not be expected to live this way indefinitely.

The threshold for CP is high so the fact your children are under Cp with conditions means there are significant concerns. “Tap” on the hip doesn’t automatically progress to CP. There is a sequence of events and case information required to progress to CP, clearly there is a narrative we aren’t privy to

I think OP was looking for some Saturday night entertainment…

Yes- they wouldn't go register for a 'tap.' Multiple professionals (police, health etc) need to agree the child is 'at risk of SIGNIFICANT harm' to be placed on register. Therefore I'd say it's more likely your children won't be in your care because you're not honest and therefore not changing.