Sending dc to nursery on maternity leave

[unbelisp]

I am a lone parent to an 8 month old. I have no structured time away from them and will go back to work in five months. My parents looks after them on an ad hoc basis which takes away from the concept of having planned time alone to maximise and look forward to. It’s impossible to get my parents to agree to a fixed day as they are often busy.

I am coping just about but I know I would be a better mum if I had a couple of days off a week. Would this be horrible to do to an 8 month old? I never wanted to do that, but I also didn’t expect to be parenting totally alone. I feel low and not sure what the solution can be. I don’t want to go back to work earlier than the 12 months as my job is horrendously stressful and I want to focus on dc for the first year. Honest opinions welcome please.

It is absolutely valid to use a nursery for this. Being a lone parent must be horrifically hard, it's hard enough with a partner. In your shoes, I would do this. Remember you're doing a fantastic job and in order to do a good job of being a parent you need to look after you too.

Hope you're ok OP xx

If you can afford it why not? I'd do it in your shoes. Why not start with a couple of morning sessions and see how you go? My second DD with be starting nursery gradually before I go back to work when she is a year old, she will be starting at about 10 months for one or two mornings a week. It's important to have time to yourself.

Absolutely, do it for your own sanity and well-being of your children

My son was in nursery at 6 months as I was back at work. He was in 2 days a week. He is much older now but he was absolutely fine .

I've looked after children this age and younger, mainly when people go back to work earlier or if they're on mat leave with a second child. It's not going to harm your child just because your reasons are different.

I went back to work when my middle child was 6 months old. He thrived 3 days a week with a childminder. If you can afford it, then do and get the time you need to be a better mum

Obviously it's fine - loads of people go back to work after 6 weeks! Do whatever you need to support yourself.

Absolutely do it. You will also find that DC picks up a LOT of coughs/colds/bugs as their immune system develops, so it’s a great idea to be able to get the bulk of this out of the way before you go back to work.

Yes

This!

Our DD went to a childminder one day a week aged 7 months. She's 11.5 months now and at nursery 3 days per week. I was teaching one morning a week and I'm also working on a PhD so that's the main reason we did it, but I also wanted her to have settled properly (and picked up lot of bugs like PP suggests) prior to going back to my job in Sept.

It is absolutely fine for you to take some time for yourself. I have no idea how lone parents do it! I would say, though, that your baby will likely settle much better in a childcare setting if they have at least two consecutive days there. I think most nurseries/childminders recommend that as a minimum anyway. We really struggled with DD going just one day per week - it was like she forgot and had to settle all over again, so it took quite a while. Also, it'll likely be hard at first, particularly if you're already feeling conflicted about it, but it does get easier. DD has been at nursery for two weeks. She still cries on drop off, but seems to settle the moment I've disappeared, and likes it! I feel very proud of her that she has this little life and is building friendships and interests independently of me and her dad.

Two things, having a break probably means you're more engaged when you are with him so they'll actually be getting more quality time with you and secondly nursery very often benefits babies as they experience a different environment, mix with other children etc.

You definitely have nothing to feel bad about, and you can skyways change your mind if it doesn't work out x