I'm going to start by saying I feel terrible and guilty, and I am constantly worried about my child.
My dc has been very demanding/ deeply feeling from little- not an easygoing kid.
I have always tried to guide him with kind authority to what is right and what is wrong, to teach him to speak about how he feels, etc.
He struggled at nursery (separation anxiety), first year of school, and he struggles with friendships. He seems to not fit in. Lots of children in his year are boisterous and push, nudge, and can hurt each other.
My child is not like that, but he is very suspicious, not trusting, quick to tell me/ an adult if others did something bad instead of brushing off, instead of giving the others the benefit of the doubt. So I think other kids don't like him because of that, and it appears my dc starts an argument (with less intimidating kids) as soon as someone he perceives to have wronged him and they don't say sorry.
I think he doesn't feel liked/ loved enough and that's why he can't just relax to being his calm, good self.
Dc is defeatist - will want to end the play date, move to another house, not write the homework, never go back to club etc. when something upsets him.
He finds it tricky to respond to a 'Hi' with a 'hi'. Can only manage a little wave and often late enough for the other person not to notice.
He is a chatterbox at home, and is usually fine chatting to anybody once he gets going.
He is sensory seeking. Will not wear shorts without a lot of negotiation - picks only trousers even on the hottest days. Keeps nuzzling his head to me/cushions like a little baby animal. Will refuse to eat many cooked things - is fine with raw veg and fruit. So there might be some ND like a sensory disorder.
I feel like a lot of his behaviour is related to how he is raised - I am pretty much on my own. My dh is often absent during work. My extended family are far away and also quite different to me. My friends, I only had few due to moving countries, have pretty much disappeared- my 'bestie' is now much wealthier and living a different life to me with new friends that can keep up with that, has shown zero interest in my child; other friends have just found people closer to them now, distance is also an issue.
I haven't been able to make any mum friends locally and I have been trying. We didn't have anyone visit our house for a few years now. I feel terrible for not being able to model friendships.
So I am bringing my dc pretty much on my own. He's at school now so that helps. But I feel like a lot of the issues he has stem from the lack of big family, community, friends in his life. Can he really grow to be a secure in himself, (quietly) confident child with only (flawed) me cheering him along?! How do I do it?