Help please - 2 day old baby and I'm failing

[EvelynSalt]

Hoping desperately for some advice. I have a beautiful newborn baby who fed and slept marvellously in hospital. We are now home and I couldn't put her down even once all night without her getting upset.

She has a really strong startle reflex, but because of the heat I didn't want to swaddle her so she just constantly startled herself. I had her dressed in just a nappy and a short sleeved vest suit.

Would you swaddle anyway, or do babies really need to be unswaddled in such heat? Our bedroom is about 27 degrees.

Help please, I know I need to be realistic about sleep but she seemed so tired and unhappy...and I felt like I didn't know what to do for the best.

You’re not failing at all, my little girl is 9 week old tomorrow and i feel this every single day, but she is alive thriving and happy and i have to remind myself im a blooming good mum and not a failure!

Im a first time mum and allowed myself to believe id be like the ladies we see on social media, where id be put together with her dressed in the most amazing outfits going loads of places and making memories….
Reality for me was that in them first few weeks she lived in vests and sleepsuits, i rarely brushed my hair or got changed into normal clothes (went from pj’s to pj’s) and we spent most of our time recovering in the house!

My little girl was the same, she slept incredible in hospital and then wouldn’t sleep when she got home- what is your baby sleeping in? We found ours hated the moses basket and the next to me was far too big for her and she felt lost (she was only 5lbs!).

In them first two weeks me and my boyfriend took turns staying up and holding her as she would only sleep in our arms, we then realised it couldn’t continue after he went back to work (had a month off) so we started putting her in the next to me, and amazingly she slept! It was them first couple of weeks where she needed contact, she doesn’t sleep through now but does big stints of 3 hours in her next to me when she is put down.

You are not failing at all, enjoy this time and even though it seems never ending, it goes so so fast! I am so thankful i did what was best for our baby and i spent them precious weeks of her tiny life cuddling her when she needed me!
Sleep deprivation is no joke though! Me and my boyfriend have fallen out so many times because we are shattered, you will come into a routine of your own and it will snap into place!

Look after yourself too, i say this because i didn’t take care of me and i was so upset for the first couple of weeks which i will always regret!
Hormones are crashing and just take time for you, you’re doing amazing, congratulations! X

Thank you all so much for your posts and advice, it was exactly what I needed to hear this morning after a tough night. Lots of great advice here. We have figured out a bit of a shift plan for tonight and I feel a bit less panicky about it now. The birth was a bit traumatic to be honest and I think we are all probably still a bit shocked.

She's also tiny so as someone else mentioned, doesn't fit in any of the lovely sleeping bags we bought, the next to me seems like an ocean around her. Hopefully in a few weeks she will have grown a bit and will be a bit less lost in everything we have bought to help her sleep!

I swaddle my newborn in a large muslin (John Lewis has some very large thin ones). It works really well in hot weather.