Is anyone else constantly on their phone around their baby?

[FTMummy2022]

I have a 8 1/2 month old baby and my phone is never an inch away from me. I’m scrolling while I’m feeding him, I’m scrolling while he’s in the bed next to me. I’m scrolling while he’s playing. It’s constant. My baby try’s to grab my phone; I know he recognises it. I feel like a bad mum. I still play with him don’t get me wrong (on Mat leave). Is any other mum always on their phone?

little ones even have a phone when they're in their buggy - does no one just watch the world go by

OP!! I was worrying about this myself the other day (I have a 9.5 month old). You are not alone.

I am constantly beating myself up about being on my phone around my little boy. But - I tell myself, if my little boy is happy, loved, fed and watered then I am doing a good job. It's a tough job being with your little one 24:7 on mat leave, so don't be so hard on yourself. We all need connections to the 'adult' world (hard to get on mat leave, I am personally finding it quite lonely and isolating).

Ironically, when I have a KIT day for example and haven't seen my little boy all day, I feel much more engaged in the time I do have with my little boy; as our time is more 'precious'.

It is impossible to be fully engaged with your little one 24/7, as long as they know you are there, are loved, and are happy (independent play is good for them!) then that is all you can do.

Cut yourself some slack!

I had some limits. So if she was feeding (including to sleep) I'm go on my phone. But in the daytime if she was awake I'd reply to a text quickly but I wouldn't sit there reading MN for example. Now she's older (nearly 3) if we go to a coffee shop I might have a quick scroll as she doesn't nap so it's the only chance I get until bedtime.

Don’t worry OP. Your baby will have her own phone soon then you can both stare at a screen.

I remember those days well, I spent many nights playing solitaire on my phone while feeding dd1 to try and stay awake! Or reading books while she pottered around on her playmat.

However working in childcare now and seeing the effects of too much technology on children I would urge you to try and limit the time you are on your phone whilst with with DC. Prolonged use can really can impact their ability to socialise, play, language development and their attention span.

Obviously I don't know how much time you are spending on your phone but I've seen many parents out and about who choose to stick a phone in a babies hand rather than try and occupy them with toys/books. Or ignoring their toddlers calling them in favour of watching videos on their phone. This makes me so sad as the early years are the most important stage of development and without those early interactions children will fall behind their peers.

Thank you x yes sometimes you just feel like you need to connect with ‘life’ as it were BC just to keep you sane!

This is very interesting and an eye opener… thanks for sharing

It makes me sad to see mums with babies in buggies on the bus, scrolling a scrolling whilst baby is turned twds the wall with nothing to look at. Poor little thing. No eye contact, no chat. Just complete disinterest from mum.

Talk to your babies! Interact with them. Lift them from the buggy and point out different things along the way; truck, fire engine, crane, pretty flowers on the tree. Anything to stimulate, teach and foster their development.
As someone above has said, it will help to develop language skills and build their confidence that mum (or dad) is present in their life and cares.

You are passing judgement here based on a snapshot in time, with no sight of the bigger picture.

For all you know, this may be the first time in the day their babies are quiet and content, these mothers may have spent all morning interacting, playing with their babies (on very little sleep!) and now taking a few moments for themselves. Is that really a crime? 😊

You don't need to be fully engaged with your baby 24/7 to be a good parent or for your child to know that they are loved and important to them.

I agree if you are not interacting with your child at all that it is detrimental, but to judge on a single observation on a bus journey, or in a cafe, whatever, seems very unfair.

I really don't want this post to come across as confrontational by any means, but I couldn't just read and run on this point.

You have nailed what I was thinking when I read that post.

Mum might have been running round all day and the 20 minute bus ride might be the only little “break” she has until she gets home and starts dinner, washing etc.

THIS !!! No excuses

what a moron @Stratocumulus “It makes me sad to see mums with babies in buggies on the bus, scrolling a scrolling whilst baby is turned twds the wall with nothing to look at. Poor little thing. No eye contact, no chat. Just complete disinterest from mum. “

Where do you think the babies were before getting on the bus?

And what a terrible idea getting them out of their buggy on the bus. Apart from the safety angle that buses move very erratically & often require adults to stand - the bus ride home from baby group is when mine all slept. If I’d come at them with more jazziness, they would have got overstimulated, screamy and hard to settle.

Babies and adults do need down time.

I took my daughter to a cafe today and stared at a blank wall for 15 minutes while she noodled about and did some colouring.

I'm a single mum before the cafe we had been swimming, been to the park and done the Big Shop. After, we went back to the park, did some painting, had a kitchen disco and went for a walk.

If my phone been dead, you would have judged me for my 15 minutes peace between 6am and 7.30pm.

Breaks my heart

Greet your child with a smile, not a screen

you can’t feel that bad or you would do something about it!

It's your choice. And no I wasnt.

I know this is an old thread, but this is the cuntiest reply I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

Kudos 🏆

Bows.

Bet I wasn’t wrong.

It's really important to limit it. I tell myself this and find it hard with my children but I'm not fully present if on my phone. I think you need to limit your phone use.