Should I stop BF and move to FF

[Whyisitsosohard]

I have a 4 week old, my 2nd. 1st was combi fed till I gave up BF at 12 weeks. I don't know what to do this time and need some advice.

Pros - I like the bond and easy comfort of BF (though I'm concerned she's using me as a dummy), my eldest didn't sleep better being FF (only slept through at 18 months) so there's no guarantee this will help her

Cons - she falls asleep BF and then wakes as soon as you put her down, I'm exhausted as she is waking every 1.5-2 hours at night and only seems to sleep longer after formula (but is more gassy so harder to settle), I hate all my clothes getting covered in milk and feel my toddler is getting short-changed by the amount of time I spend BF plus DH hates it.

There is evidence that switching to FF does NOT change sleep.

For those asking DH can see I'm struggling and thinks more formula will help as he can do it and BF is taking a lot out of me physically. I've lost a lot of weight very quickly and can't take medication that's been recommended by a doctor.

@Whyisitsosohard - it’s not about the nutritional aspect of breast or formula in your case. I happen to think they are both fine (I say this as someone who pumped for the first 3 months at the expense of my mental and physical health - I stopped only when my breast doctor saw the cysts with the 3rd round of mastitis and told me I needed to stop / helped me give myself permission to stop).

I may be wrong, but it sounds like you need someone to give you “permission” to do the same. So here it is: a fed baby and a happy mom is best. If breastfeeding is affecting your physical well-being then it is fine to stop. It is also fine to continue breastfeeding if that is what you want to do - but you need to seek help in order for you to stay healthy and happy while you do that.

It’s such a loaded issue (as evidenced by this thread) but it needn’t be. Good luck with whatever you choose - you sound like a lovely mom!

From your latest posts I think you should take your husbands help with bottles and get some rest.

Making yourself unwell through dogged determination to bf won't do anyone any favours.

After your update, if I were you I would reduce BF, increase the bottles for a few days and then see if combi is a comfortable place, or if you need to reduce BF further/stop altogether.

Look after yourself OP x

Do what is best for you, what will make you happiest and ignore any negativity/guilt thrown your way about whatever choice you make. A happy mum makes a happy baby.

It isn't selfish to want more sleep and it doesn't mean you think your baby is an inconvenience. You're a human being who also has needs and sleep is one of those needs.

If she sleeps for longer after formula then I'd switch to formula.

If DH wants to help you by using bottles, if suggest he takes a section of the night shift e.g. 10- 2 (timing depends on when he works etc), has bottles ready and he settles baby during that time. You can still breastfeed the rest of the time, but it guarantees you a solid 4h chunk of sleep - makes a big difference! If baby wants to suck for comfort, he might need a dummy for those times. Personally, i never bothered with one for my eldest - if she wanted to be held for sleep at 4 weeks, that was ok. my twins had dummies and i could settle them in the pram in the sitting room for a nap while.I got the eldest ready for school. Absolute godsend!

It's just a bit shit at the moment but it wont last. I'd keep breastfeeding - as you say, formula brings its own gassy issues and does not guarantee more sleep.
Try not to think of it as being used as a dummy. She's cluster feeding, which she needs to do, and sending messages through receptors in your nipple to change the consistency of the milk, add more antibodies, stem cells etc.
I'd tell DH to but out too - your breasts, your business. He needs to help in other ways and take the burden off you elsewhere so you can sit and feed without feeling torn.

I did ff with eldest because bf was impossible for us. My son is 6 months old and ebf. All babies go through the witching hour until about 12 weeks (at least!) after 3pm. If you feel you can, stick with bf. When the cluster feeding stops life is sooo much easier when you bf.

Do what you feel is right for you! I always stuck to the mantra of never giving up on a bad day.