im a little stuck with where I should proceed next with the situation with my little boy and his relationship with his father.
my son is 5 and he has had an off and on relationship with his dad. This is based on his dad choice not ours. I have encouraged his dad to see him and encouraged to keep regular contact with him however it falls on deaf ears as his dad just picks and chooses.
The last few years have all been on his grounds when he sees son. He Basically messaging me the night before and I would agree as I want my son to see his dad. Even though I would cancel our plans to allow it as I never know when he will next see him. the dad is not reliable. He has on quite a few occasions not turned up. Let us down last minute. Turns up late etc etc.
ive come to terms with the fact that as much as I’ve tried to get a routine in it just gets ignored or we get let down.
so my issue is. The last year there have been a few incidents where I can not just turn a blind eye. One where dad was drunk whilst in care with son. Son was staying overnight. And dad was messsging me and it was very clear he was not right. so I went straight over to go collect my son in the middle of the night and dad was very drunk. Other issues have been turning up stinking of alcohol and driving expecting to take son. Obviously I turned him away but the impact on my son seeing his mum telling his dad he can’t take him and not really knowing the reason why breaks my heart.
Another issue was that my son was spotted in the car with no car seat. When I raised this with dad I was told we were only going to shops. It’s so upsetting. So with all the above and advice from child services I told him no more I cannot trust him to take proper care and he will need to arrange supervised accesss. He obviously did not like this and didn’t really arrange anything apart from seeing him when his mum would have our son while I worked. This has been going on for several months with no resolution really. Hes told me I need to get over all the issues.
I know he’s been going to anger management and drink and drug classes too. So I really feel I’m not over reacting here.
He’s now asked if he can start seeing him without being supervised. I just don’t really know where I stand. I want my son to see his dad. And I understand that supervised access can’t last forever. But I’ll just be so worried because of all that’s happened. I don’t know whether to allow some contact and build up on that.