Okay tell me truthfully about 2 under 2

[anyoneused]

I've just found out I'm pregnant, 8 months post partum. We really struggled to have dd, it took years to conceive her with lots of failed fertility treatment, failed ivf, successful ivf then a miscarriage before I fell naturally with dd out of the blue. I've always said I want one more, but now I'm pregnant it's like shit !! I know it's going to be hard, but how hard ?! I know it depends on the babies too, they're all different but I just can't imagine not having this baby.
So I'm asking for honest experiences. Thanks

I did find it hard but not really really hard all the time. But the early days weeks and months do pass and there are some beautiful times too. Mine are now 16 and 17 and off to a Harry styles
concert together tomorrow evening. Really excited together and enjoy doing nearly all the same things/ in lockdown created TikTok dances together etc. it’s amazing. I’m so so glad they are close in age.

I had exactly 2 years between my first 2 and then 14 months later had no3. I do think it’s hard having 2 babies at one time and I did feel that my 14 month old lost out on attention because there was a new baby needing looked after. But, they are now all 21, 19 and 18 and good friends so it all works out in the end. Looking. Ack I don’t know how I did it but you do!

Thanks so much everyone, all really informative and helpful posts. I'm not as worried today, feeling blessed.

But also absolutely shattered, I'm only 4 weeks! I feel like I've been hit by a bus 😩😩

I have an 18 month gap between my first 2, then a 3.4 year gap between middle and youngest. In many ways the smaller gap was actually easier. Their needs are still quite similar so a lot of it is just looking after 2 babies instead of balancing the needs of older kids and a baby.

I did find the first year quite intense. I have no family nearby and my husband works away a lot so a lot of the time it was just me. So if you have any help at all take it!

My eldest 2 are 4.5 and 6 now and they are so close. It’s lovely. They are genuinely each others best friend and they love all the same tv programmes and toys, spend so much time making up games together. They are having the best childhood together. I remember looking at baby ds1 when I got a positive pregnancy test and bursting into tears thinking I’d ruined his life and he’d never get enough attention. He may have had to share my attention but ds2 is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. In some ways I actually feel a bit sorry for my daughter as she doesn’t have a sibling so close in age but I’m not having another one 😂

good luck and congratulations. You’ll be fine.

How exciting!! You will be absolutely fine, honestly.

I fell pregnant with my second beautiful boy when my oldest son was 5 months (shock!). So we have a 13 month age gap between them. They’re now 2.5 and 16 months old, and it’s been fantastic. There’s certainly been some hard moments and sleepless nights but they’re the best of friends. We also saved shit lots of money having them both so close together (we saved everything from our first).

My top tip is to keep following the oldest’s routine once the baby arrives, the baby will just slot in to whatever you’re doing. Invest in a good Sling (highly recommend ergobaby embrace for newborn-6 months and then the Tula for 6 months +). I’d just carry on as normal with my first and pop baby in the sling, I even learnt to breastfeed him whilst he was in there to make things even easier.

I also highly recommend bed sharing with either just the baby or both of them. This means you’ll get the maximum sleep possible and you’ll feel so much better for it during the day. Everything seems easier and less stressful when you’ve had a proper amount of sleep! you can work on getting them into their own beds when they’re a bit older and you’re not so exhausted.

The slow cooker is your friend! Put everything in first thing in the morning whilst your partner is still at home, then it will magically be ready at tea time with no effort. Also hire a weekly cleaner if you can afford one. We stopped treating ourselves to takeaways and meals out to pay for ours, and it’s the best money we spend!

If you can afford it also send your eldest to nursery for a couple of mornings a week so you can have a bit of time just you and the baby (or see if your mum will do a morning a week?). Equally get your partner to have the baby for an hour a couple of times a week between feeds so you can spend some time 100% with your toddler.

You’ll find your routine after about 6 weeks and it’ll slot into place. Congratulations!! X

It's really not that bad, it has its moments but honestly it's been fine for us.

My older two are 20 months apart (and ds 28 months after that). It had its moments, eg potty training and breast feeding simultaneously. But generally Dd2 was in a sling going to playgroup with DD1 etc. It obviously depends on the baby but I feel as a parent you go with the flow more second time round and dd2 was just used to fitting in with what me and dd1 were doing. Plus she was ready to do everything earlier than dd1 due to watching her and wanting to join in.

Dd1 has no memory of life before dd2 so there's not really ever been any resentment or jealousy.

As others have said the good thing is both kids are broadly speaking interested in similar things eg tv, days out etc. So it's easier to please everyone at once. My friend had 5 years between each of her three which meant it was well-nigh impossible to have a family day out that would interest all three (eg aged 5, 10 and 15, or 3,8 and 13). So you're in each phase eg toddler for longer but then you're done and don't have to start again.

I wouldn't change it if I could go back. In fact if anything, I'd have had ds sooner if I could have. He was born in August and straight on the school run every day in September! Would have rather had him 5 or 6 months earlier.

I had two with a 19month age gap. Yes, some of the early days it was relentless but it paid off as they are so close and play together really well. And now I look back wistfully at those days before school.
A friend lent us an Out n About double buggy. Absolutely brilliant! We had a baby after a three year gap and now I'm thinking should we do it all over again as the first two are so close and now I don't want our baby to be by himself!

Really really bloody hard work for the first 2 years and now super easy. They are into the same things and we are basically managing one age group. They mostly do the same extra curricular activities and get along really well.

Just shy of 20 months between my 2. It was OK in the early days, DC2 was very chilled and loved his sleep. Once he became mobile it got a bit more tricky. He's 15 months now and DC1 has just turned 3. I'm finding this stage really hard work dealing with tantrums, endless demands, constant attention seeking... they have started playing together though and that's priceless to watch. They are forming a great bond. I'd planned for that gap as I wanted them close together and I don't regret it. You'll cope OP, I won't be easy but it'll be worth it x