12 week old sleep

[JackMummyandtheBorg]

Good evening lovely people,

I am just looking for some friendly advice / support. I am a mum of two my first is now 6.5 years old and my second is 12 weeks. The second is my surprise baby - as we were told we couldn’t have children to start then got our first miracle and then told we wouldn’t have anymore and surprise.

I just have become super anxious in recent weeks as don’t feel I can settle my newest edition to sleep in the day, and as a result haven’t gotten into a nap routine. It’s currently as and when. I feel really crappy about it as I feel he’s not getting the same experience as my first - nice decent naps, activities and attention. Therefore feel huge guilt and like I am a crap mum and like I can’t do this.

I am also carrying huge guilt because of it.

I really don’t feel like I’ve got my stuff together this time and don’t feel like I know what I am doing.

I am wondering how people started their day time naps, how many, when etc. I have used Dr Google and that has made me feel worse as reading at 12 weeks they should be sleeping longer, doing x y z etc and we’re not.

Hi Op! Congratulations on your new addition. I am in a very similar situation, my eldest is 8 and my youngest is 12 weeks old too!
My eldest settled himself into a routine fairly quickly and slept reasonably well. However my youngest is completely different and I keep thinking I am getting it so wrong! Which is made worse as he can be a grumpy little thing. So I end up thinking that his grumpiness is completely my fault. The longest stretch of sleep we have had is 4 hours and that's not a consistent thing (actually quite rare) and our day time naps vary each day in time and length. I too have googled and keep questioning why I can't seem to establish any sort of routine, even if very rough. However, I went to a breastfeeding clinic today and spoke with some really lovely and helpful midwives and health visitors. Who told me to just to go with what my baby needs and follow his cues and that every day may well look different but will eventually start to follow a pattern when they are ready. They are still so tiny!. They also said they will develop/hit milestones at different stages and not to stress yourself out with it by looking on Google and comparing to others. Everyone says it, but I guess it is true, all babies are different and there is no one size fits all routine that Google keeps telling us! They did say that an evening bedtime routine can help in the long run (bath, feed, story etc). Everyone will give you different advice, but I am going to try and embrace what I have been told today and just take each day as it comes and hopefully that will stop me worrying/stressing so much.

I’ve an 11 wk old here and just rolling with it and looking out for a routine to form. We have a good bedtime routine around 7/8 and I do think that is the main thing to tackle first. I found the advice from Care it Out (Kerry Secker) on nap gaps totally invaluable with my first baby so check out her insta/ website/ YouTube