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AIBU?

5 replies

Kidoutings · 13/06/2023 18:48

right first post from me :)
AIBU? I have a child who is interested in a sport so I put them in for clubs and games there is a major game on for them to go watch if I buy tickets, I am working that day and have asked dad if he would take them as he is off and will have the children that day anyway, he’s got very argumentative that I always expect him to do things with the kids in his days off! And that I should stop planning his days off, i work alternate Saturdays so he has them often but doesn’t do much out with them We both work part time me recently so I have more money to take children out to do nice things, he works term time but rarely has money to treat the children, so am I being unreasonable by wanting the children to enjoy days out with their dad? He would rather stay home and watch tv all day. Even when I’m off and I plan a day out he rarely wants to join in. Is this a man thing?
thanks

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CalamityCara · 13/06/2023 18:51

No. It might be a your DH thing but my DH took our DC all over.
Days out, weekends away, camping (from ages 6/7), Hikes, swimming.
DH adored doing stuff with little ones (as much as I did) & they all have lovely happy memories.

ErrolTheDragon · 13/06/2023 19:35

No, it's not a 'man thing'. We often went out as a family at the weekend, but also quite often DH would take DD out alone while I got on with the gardening or whatever. She's grown up now but we still enjoy doing things together when we can.

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Kidoutings · 13/06/2023 20:35

This 👌🏼yes!!!

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ecuse · 14/06/2023 08:30

Not man thing per se. I know lots of dads that aren't like this.

My husband is like this though.... very happy with quiet days at home pottering and it's me that tends to be the one that plans trips out. He'll go along happily enough But rarely initiate. But if the kids have a big game, or a concert or something he'd be there without question. I wasn't sure from your post if it was that the kids were competing and you were asking him to go and watch them or if it was a match you wanted him to take them to see. If the former I think it's pretty sad he wouldn't want to go. If the latter I guess it's less of a big deal. Like you, I'd want him to take the kids if I thought they'd get a kick out of it but there's no point forcing him. I'd be disappointed too and have been in a similar situation but I usually tell myself that if the roles were reversed I wouldn't love him organising my time and activities for days he wasn't there!

Original poster
Kidoutings · 14/06/2023 19:13

ecuse · 14/06/2023 08:30

Not man thing per se. I know lots of dads that aren't like this.

My husband is like this though.... very happy with quiet days at home pottering and it's me that tends to be the one that plans trips out. He'll go along happily enough But rarely initiate. But if the kids have a big game, or a concert or something he'd be there without question. I wasn't sure from your post if it was that the kids were competing and you were asking him to go and watch them or if it was a match you wanted him to take them to see. If the former I think it's pretty sad he wouldn't want to go. If the latter I guess it's less of a big deal. Like you, I'd want him to take the kids if I thought they'd get a kick out of it but there's no point forcing him. I'd be disappointed too and have been in a similar situation but I usually tell myself that if the roles were reversed I wouldn't love him organising my time and activities for days he wasn't there!

Thank you for advice 👌🏼it’s not a match they are involved in but something that could be looked at as future goals for our child, but I get both sides of the coin with your advice thank you 😊

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