Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Help me to get organised as a SAHM of an almost 3 year old

14 replies

Ilovefruitytea · 12/06/2023 02:41

Calling all organised mums out there. Please help!

I am a mum of a toddler who is almost 3 years old. I am struggling to stay organised and get things done without stressing out and going into a meltdown myself!

I have tried organisational systems, lists, schedules. I end up not able to stick to any of them and then just feel worse! I also get really OCD and obsessed with the lists!

I have tried booking cleaners and babysitters. What happens is that about 50% of the time they end up cancelling on me, and then I just can't stay on top of the housework!

I only have the one child and I am a SAHM, I don't study or work or anything. My partner works very long hours so he's gone most of the day till very late at night. No family does not help at all and they all live in a different country, we are 100% on our own in that department. She does go to nursery 2 days a week, but it's such a faff to get her there, and during the few hours that she's there I'm frazzled and don't know what to start on! A few people have suggested ADD to me...but I don't want to take medication...

I also want to lose weight / tone up so I'm trying to squeeze exercise and home cooked meals in so I don't gain any more weight. I would also love to go back to work / study in the next year.

I see all these women around me who have multiples, who are studying, who are working, who are losing weight and exercising, cooking home cooked food...how do they do it? I mean it as a genuine question haha!

Can all you mums out there share you productivity systems, tips, tricks, secrets, words of wisdom...anything really! I want to get on top of this, as it's contributing to me getting depressed.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Alongtimelonely · 12/06/2023 03:16

i was in this position for 2.5 years - tho my dc is now 4 and I’ve been back at work FT for a year

I don’t bother with lists of basic tasks, I just keep a list of the “extras”

my tips are:

  • family calendar in the kitchen to keep track of appointments, play dates etc
  • steer clear of social media (wastes time)
  • declutter your home and rotate toys to keep a feeling of orderliness
  • clothes shop online, but food shop in person - my dc loved being on the back of my bike, cycling to the market in town a few times a week to buy veg and that gave me my exercise
  • make your DH plan at the weekend to have your dc 1:1 - that should give you extra free hours
  • if your dc gets up at 7am quietly get up at 6am - use the hour for household admin, stretching and exercise etc

Work out what HAS to fit in the two precious days dc is at nursery - let’s say that is 8 hours per day from 9am to 5pm - and what doesn’t.

Learn to multitask better with dc eg

  • clean the bathroom while dc is in the bath
  • Sit at table and chop veg for dinner while dc is drawing
  • Jog whilst dc is practicing on her balance bike
  • tidy up kitchen whilst dc is eating dinner
  • teach dc to tidy up games as they go along

Work out what jobs are really good/easy to do with dc eg going to the supermarket.

Work out what jobs you can get rid of. eg I no longer iron - I dry outdoors/make sure I empty the washing machine promptly so things don’t get too creases.

Then work out what tasks can ONLY or very largely best be done when dc isn’t there and allocate them into the nursery hours

  • 4 hours exercising, showering and self care
  • 4 hours meal preparation and batch cooking for the week
  • 2 hours rest and downtime
  • 6 hours of big housework - clean the car, change the beds, mow the lawn, dust/polish and vacuum, wash kitchen/bathroom floors.
Ilovefruitytea · 12/06/2023 04:33

Thank you so much Alongtimelonely! Amazing! I'm going to copy and paste all the answers into a google doc and implement :)

Looking forward to more answers...feeling inspired already!

OP posts:
HAF1119 · 12/06/2023 05:34

I have a 3 year old too, I try to get him involved with stuff as much as possible so that household things can be done together, so he's with me getting attention as my OH is also out long days, but things get done...! of course this depends on your child! I do work full time and can't afford cleaner and have no childcare outside of working, so if I'm honest I do almost all cleaning with him with me so obviously you don't need to do as much with yours there but my ideas below

Daily stuff -
After eating I will get him to help me by putting plate in the sink then I stand him on a chair while I'm next to him and we wash up together, if he's taking a while eating sometimes I have already done a chunk of it but he can do his bits and then help me dry up.

He has a mini hoover (a Henry) and he will hoover with that while I hoover with the big one, he lifts the mats up etc to hoover under and I show him little bits of dirt I know the toy one can pick up so he gets into it

He splits the clothes into dark/light/white and puts them in the machine, I let him put the liquid etc in with me helping and do the settings on the machine too and turn it on

He's also the 'peg master' and brings the box of pegs out and hands me them telling me their colours while they go on the line, or in winter just loads up the drier lol

He helps bring the clothes and he puts underwear and pjs away in drawers (messily) while I hang stuff

He also has his own broom and dustpan and brush

When he's in the bath I do stuff like bleach the toilet quickly and wipe round the sink etc

Non daily stuff -

As he likes water I play to this and have a mini spray bottle with some water and fairy in and get him to spray the back door/kitchen cabinets and wipe them while I clean the higher stuff properly.. I only do this in the non carpeted rooms as it does get a bit wet lol

Changing bedding - I get him to try to get the pillows out of the cases and into new ones (I mean it never goes very well but it keeps him busy) while I'm doing the rest

He has a toy lawnmower to mimic while it's being done properly, as well as letting him loose with the watering can while I just sit and watch

I'm crazy blessed with a child who seems to like getting involved with this stuff though, but he's also always had to watch me do stuff round the house (and dad on weekends) as the only time we have is while we are with him, so I think we've always just given him little jobs while we do it and now he tends to help with everything..

In terms of day planning - on the weekend when I'm off work but my OH isn't we normally get up, have brekkie, do a few bits together (and he sometimes gets bored and plays toys, I don't massively ask him to help it's just always on offer if he wants), then talk about where we are going and make the house tidy with toys in boxes before we go out, I don't go out generally with toys on the floor and we have canvas boxes with lids on so he can easily just throw them in so we can go to XYZ

I think keeping on top of the little things helps and trying to make it less of a chore :)

Oh - cooking I missed, my other half works every other weekend, so if he has him I bulk cook some fresh food for freezing (curries/bolognaise etc) or if he's got weekday off he does. They are used some days; other days things that can go in the oven are done so they cook while doing other things - e.g. I'll put a whole XL chicken in with some potato's, and use leftover the next day with just cut salad (sometimes badly cut if I have a helper), or with a jar of curry cause and some microwave rice. And when I don't have time to do that, then freezer fish fingers and chips cooking in the background won't kill anyone ;)

See what you may find that works for your life/routine, I have to say I just do stuff at whatever time whenever depending what I/he feels like, but if structure would suit you more then maybe list things down and highlight those you think you can do with little one, and those you can't, then see what little one will do with you/and ones where it makes it way harder to do together and move any that can't be done to the days when they are at nursery.

When they are at nursery my number one suggestion would be shove music on and do the stuff that needs doing at mega speed with loads of effort at the start of the day, it builds up a sweat, you get it done fast, and then you feel rewarded by getting you time after, if you put it off until the end it's torture!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

UnaVaca · 12/06/2023 05:51

A bit off topic but you say partner - are you an unmarried SAHM?

Ilovefruitytea · 12/06/2023 07:21

Thank you HAF! Amazing suggestions I’m noting them down!

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 12/06/2023 07:32

I'm not strictly a SAHM because I work a few hours a week but what I found helps is to do what the PP said about fitting the jobs that have to happen in the school/nursery day into the day. I find that sometimes I'll do some of my work once they're in bed so I can keep on top of the big jobs.

I'm fortunate to have DC who like being involved so I can include them in the game e.g they do laundry relays putting washing in the correct bedroom.

Lowering my standards also helped (see point above 😂)

When everyone is at home more mess is created and that's ok.

I also like the TOMM guided cleans in half an hour. The hallway/landing one is good as it's an annoying job I don't like doing.

Ilovefruitytea · 13/06/2023 03:54

Thank you so much everyone!

So so far I've got routines, and doing things with the LO.

What about one-off task, projects and longer-term goals, such as studying? How do you guys manage those? Lists?

Thanks!

OP posts:
SErunner · 13/06/2023 06:00

Anything vaguely interesting eg folding clothes, loading washing machine, cooking, food shopping etc, do while he is awake and get him involved. Accept that when he is asleep you need to get chores done first - all the stuff you can't do with him around. Plan a few bits to do each day and stick to it (obviously if you have a partner make sure he/she has a list too)!

If things have got into a bad state perhaps get a cleaner to do a deep clean to reset you, and then start afresh? It's very doable if you're organised. I work full time and extra weekend days, as does my husband. I also have hobbies 2 nights a week and run several times (take the dogs with me), but between my husband and I we keep on top of everything, no outside help. You just have to make the most of the time you get on your own and be super efficient.

SErunner · 13/06/2023 06:02

Big one off things are the times I would prioritise getting childcare if I were you, and accept the financial hit. Pick a day and both of you commit to blasting out whatever you need to do that day while he's occupied by someone else!

Alongtimelonely · 13/06/2023 06:09

Studying - make it part of your 2 nursery days (allocate a time - use a timer!) and then the rest when dc is in bed . If you can bring yourself to get up early - that precious hour 6am to 7am is your friend (I’m just starting work myself!)

110APiccadilly · 13/06/2023 06:23

I have a two year old and a baby. Cleaning was my biggest issue, and I now have a system that works for me. I broke every room down into small tasks, decided how often each task needed to be done, and made a four-weekly list using Excel.

So now, once every four weeks, I print off the list of tasks, and every week I have a list of cleaning jobs to do that week and cross off when done. The great thing for me is having broken it down into small tasks which take five or ten minutes. So I don't need to find big chunks of time all at once, but five minutes here and there.

Also, on days when my two year old doesn't nap, she has some quiet time in her room with teddies and books. It's her choice generally whether she has a nap or quiet time (if she's clearly tired she has to have a nap, otherwise it's her choice). That gives me a bit of time to get stuff done (if the baby doesn't wake!) and gives her some down time.

I go to the gym in the evenings when they're in bed (and DH isn't on shift). Now the mornings are lighter I'd like to try going for a walk/ cycle before they wake up but for me that does take more will power!

TwoPairsOfPantsAndAMohairVest · 13/06/2023 06:52

I agree that I love my hour to myself in the morning having a cup of tea before the school chaos begins.

maybe choose one area to declutter, for one hour a day.

put some music on when you're cleaning, cooking or whatever, it seems to make jobs more enjoyable to me.

do you have any solid plans for studying? What courses, study at home or go to a college etc, when you'd roughly like to start?

I got stuck in a rut of always wearing my gross old joggers and pjama tops if I wasn't going out, but I've started making an effort to get dressed for the day and chuck a bit of mascara on. I feel more "on" if that makes sense.

And, cut yourself some slack and don't put too much pressure on yourself. It was like wading through mud for me when my eldest two were this age. Only 18 months apart so I was permanently tired. Now they're in primary school and I have a 4 year old too. If I'm tired, I'm going to have a nap, or read my book. I can't look after everyone if I don't look after myself sometimes. I always had jobs I had to do in the back of my mind while I was playing with them, and wasn't really focusing on just playing or whatever. Now they're everything can wait until they're at school or in bed 💐

HAF1119 · 13/06/2023 16:51

For the big things, projects/studying, in your situation I would do the following

Ignore them for 4 weeks while you find your cleaning/cooking groove/routine, see if you can blast bits with the LO there and write down how much time you had left over while they are at nursery. Once you know that then within those hours I would begin to plan the big stuff.

I wouldn't try to suddenly overnight be able to do it all or it may overwhelm you, maybe just add one thing at a time and try to leave at least an hour of 'me time' on the 2 nursery days/days when your partner is off and can take over - having a bath/shower in peace helps reset

Ilovefruitytea · 15/06/2023 11:56

Thank you everyone! Amazing tips and I’m taking note. I’d like to return to part time work next year and also I’d like to study part time to retrain into a different field. Maybe I will wait till she’s at school. Haven’t decided yet.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page