One year old screams everytime it’s bed time

[Teaaaa]

I’m getting so fed up, everytime I put my one year old in her cot she screams. I’ve tried different types of sleep training (Ferber etc) but they don’t work, the only thing that works is letting her cry for a few minutes and she goes to sleep. She normally is asleep within 5-10mins:

but I feel so awful that every single night she has to cry herself to sleep. Otherwise she won’t go to sleep unless she’s on me or in my bed, and I can’t keep having her in my bed.

she’s crying now and i feel terrible. What can I do? I’m crying as well.

This sounds tough OP…is it the same for naps? Or do you get her to sleep another way for naps?

Is she tired enough for bed?

I know when sleep training has worked, children go to sleep independently from a young age. But in other cases, needing your presence and support to fall asleep is very very normal for such a small child. For context, my 21 month old has never fallen asleep independently and I can’t see it happening anytime soon but this is normal behaviour.

Sometimes small dc need a way to turn themselves off when they are tired and over stimulated, they cant read a book or turn music on, or have a glass of wine..so sometimes they just yell at the world.

Can you manage to see what she is doing as letting off steam rather than crying for you?

It could be an attachment thing. Can you put something that smells of you under her head?

Here is an article on crying as stress relief

https://www.birthpsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/journal/published_paper/volume-10/issue-1/w6mWaEZp.pdf

Naps are usually contacts naps or i time outings so she sleeps in car or the pram. It’s a nightmare trying to get her to go in the cot during the day and she ends up not napping at all.
once she’s asleep she’s usually asleep for most of the night, which is good. It’s just the getting her to sleep, just sounds traumatising each time.

I’ll read that article SeatoSki

5-10 mins is nothing, I know it does feel like it but honestly this won't affect her. It's just her routine now of crying to sleep and it's actually great she falls asleep after 10 mins

This. It's what works for your baby, as you say other methods prolong getting together sleep baby so obviously needs. All 3 of mine grizzled themselves to sleep.