Do you think your infants were affected by all the lockdowns?

[Mamabear04]

Just wondering if anyone has noticed any effects from all the lockdowns etc? DD was 4m when we went into the first lockdown and because DH has an autoimmune disease we had to be very careful. Basically we came out of lockdowns very cautiously, still met people outside but were wary of going into people's houses/people coming into ours. DD started going to DP for childcare for 2 days a week when she turned 1yo and settled really well despite not spending loads of time. This continued until she turned 3yo and I looked after her the rest of the week (3 days) then she started nursery 3 afternoons a week and still goes to DP one full day a week and then with me for a full day. She has taken a while to settle into nursery but she is really coming on socially (before she would be scared of most people and now she will initiate conversation with strangers!) She's started to make friends but really struggles with understanding you can have more than just a best friend. I worry this is because she's had so much 1 on 1 time with the close adults in her life (me, DH and DP).

Anyway back to the point, DD is now 3.5yo and just seems extremely anxious. She constantly had bad dreams, gets scared of getting hurt like grazing her knee and if she does have an accident she goes into meltdown and needs to sit on the sofa watching TV for the rest of the day basically hiding whatever injury may have occurred (if she has a graze she'll cover it with her favourite comforter). I'm finding it really hard because to me it seems so ridiculous and I'm trying to be gentle with her but part of me thinks it's just insane that she reacts this way, I mean fair enough getting hurt isn't nice but to have an emotional meltdown? She also complains constantly, complains we don't go out enough, so we go out and try and do fun thinks like take her to classes, the beach, the park and it just always ends in a meltdown. It's so hard and I have to force myself to be positive about taking her out (I realise I am being completely honest here but wouldn't let her see how I feel). I see other mums out and their kids just seem so happy and content to be out tagging along etc but DD just constantly whines and demands and complains. I'm just a bit worried that she might have anxiety or something? Or is this just normal 3 year old behaviour? She never seems very content or happy....

Our DD was born in the first month of lockdown. I have no concerns about her behaviour but she is also very emotional at times and crying is her first response to many things although it's generally short lived, she doesn't really have full on tantrums any more. At the moment I feel it is an age related thing rather than anxiety.

She's generally ok when we are out and about but some times she will just say 'i want to go home now' and she gets upset if we walk to our local park a different way but again have put it down to toddler behaviour as she's fairly sociable x

My dd was born in 2020. Our HV kept saying this was the reason for all her delays and issues I kept pushing as was sure from 12 months old that she was autistic but HV and GP kept saying it was due to lockdown and lost of others have this issue etc etc , baby groups aren’t open ……….

I had to push and push and they kept saying no wouldn’t even refer so we went privately and got her ASD diagnosis at age 2

My son is also 3.5 op! He was a little behind on speech until about 2.5 but has more than caught up now. He is a little behind on fine motor and is very anxious. He doesn't like crowds or loudness. Likes his routine. He is doing really well at nursery and even has a couple of friends now, but drop offs are genuine hell even after 2 years (he goes 2.5 days a week)

Our GP and hv helped get us a referral to paediatrics for assessment because he scores "in the black" for autism flags (he's really sensitive to temperature and fabrics and sleep is a minefield, as well as the stuff mentioned above) But at first it was definitely a case of "because lockdown" and which was understandable at first but as he's gotten older it seems he struggles with things other kids his age don't. Although they're all different, so it's hard to tell!

I have a DC born in very early 2020. My personal view from observing him and his peers is that it depends on what lockdown meant for your family. A family shielding who saw nobody for months - that is going to have an impact. In our case, I like to think DC2 hasn’t been affected, and one positive side effect is that DH was always around during my maternity leave due to enforced home working. Developmentally, DC2 has always been right on track/slightly ahead, probably thanks to having DC1 to copy.

We did what we could, when we could, as we also had DC1 to think about (aged 4 at the start of lockdown and who I’d say has been much more affected). So when we could, we went to open spaces for walks and ball games. We went on picnics and days out together. When school was open, we did the school run for DC1. When shops and soft play and baby groups were running, we went to those. We did buggy walks with other mums when you were allowed to exercise with one other person (seems mad thinking about it now!). I went back to work when he was 1 and he went to our childminder at that point.

The big area where his babyhood differs from his sibling is that we didn’t have an NCT-style group of mummy friends to hang out with, so no play dates at people’s houses until he was well past 2 and even then only rarely (as I just don’t have the social circle where we live - we moved after DC1 was born). And we struggled to see extended family as the distance meant we couldn’t do doorstep visits - we visited when we could, and did outdoor meet-ups in mutually (in)convenient places when allowed.

It would have been a thousand times harder if he’d been my first baby and you have all my sympathy in that regard.

@Tryingtoconceivenumber2 sounds like a very normal LO!

@Orangeblossomfairy who did you go to see to get a private diagnosis? I don't even know what to start googling!

@Fivebyfive2 I have wondered about DD as she is very sensitive to touch especially when she's tired. I know it's much more difficult to spot autism is girls though so I'm not sure of other signs to watch out for.

@WhoHidTheCoffee I have noticed a huge difference in DC2 who is not a covid baby. He seems much more happy and content but wasn't sure if that was down to temperament and also having a big sister!

We have no idea what damage we did to our children by locking down the country. I think the affects will continue to dog our children’s development all their lives.

I'm sure time will tell and the issue will be studied properly but my feeling is that infants were probably affected the least.
I have one born 2019 and one 2023 with limited difference. If anything, my eldest is closer to his dad because they had time together that isn't usually possible.
My concern is for children who are now upper primary who missed so much of EYFS. Those foundations are so difficult to get back.

The SENCO at one of our local primaries says their Year 1 cohort is their highest needs ever. These are the kids who missed a year of socialisation when they were around one to two. I've heard similar from other schools.

No, I don't think covid was a factor for my lockdown baby who was born summer 2020. She had all she needed. By the time she needed more socialising than our family things were opening up.

Her big sister was 2 in April 2020, IMO her cohort was affected as they were at a crucial stage when lockdown hit.

I'm sorry you and your DD are struggling a bit ATM. It sounds like she had plenty of socialising over covid if she was in childcare from 1 so I don't think covid was a factor. She does sound an anxious wee soul, they can be sometimes. I certainly have one who is very prone to drama!

Can she be distracted and/or jollies along?

That’s really interesting. I’m surprised at the impact to be honest as I’d always been told that kids are only really interested in their mothers ( and dads) until about 2, so the argument that young babies can learn to socialise at nursery was nonsense. ( not saying that’s my view btw)

I wonder if it’s due to the impact on parents - lots of MH issues in adults which lingered for a long time after lockdowns.

I think my 4.5 yr old is unaffected, he was only 5 weeks old when lockdown started and by the time he started to be become more aware of his surroundings and ready for socialisation things started opening op again, albeit in a weird socially distanced way with masks but we did go to socially distanced baby sensory class, song time in the park etc.

He is developing quite normally with mo concerns, just started school and very outgoing with peers. They only sad thing is the grandparents couldnt hold him for a few months but no issues with bonding now. My 8 year old is doing fine too, nursery was closed a few weeks but she fared ok and is now as chatty and confident as ever, doesnt remember much about it tbh

No, not at all

Aw flipping heck we’ve resurrected a zombie thread! 🙈

My DS was 10 months old on the first lockdown. He was attending nursery by 12 months. During lockdown I took DC out to the supermarket (no option to leave at home) and tried to keep things normal as possible. Socially I think he's fine.

He does have several speech issues which I attribute to the stupid masks!

Oh FFS. You'd think we'd have noticed the ages don't add up. 🤣