3 yr old- Scared of public toilets/nursery trip

[Zecatsmeow]

My 3 yr old DD, soon to be 4, is terrified of hand dryers in public toilets and also won't sit on an adult toilet even if being held. She uses a seat adaptor and stool at home. She is small for her age(we're all small in our family) so I understand why she's worried about the big toilets. This is not a problem when taking her out with us because I take a potty and will continue to encourage going into public toilets until she becomes used to it.

She is due to go on a zoo trip with nursery. I've asked them to get back to me to see what we could do as I think she'd really enjoy the trip but concerned she will not use the toilet and have an accident. The zoo have said they do not have small toilets as I already asked, hoping they'd cater for smaller bottoms. Do you think the nursery staff could take a potty? I feel like this is a bit much to ask of them. Any ideas?

She will likely behave completely differently on a trip with the nursery staff. I'd let them know that she gets scared of hand dryers and doesn't like the big toilet - very common though so she won't be the only one - but I'd let the staff handle it.

My DD just gone 3 is terrified of the hand dryers. I try to take her in the disabled toilet if I can as no one else can turn it on.

She is also small for her age but will go on the toilet if I hold her on there.

If she sees all her friends doing it she might be different x

Is it the dryers that’s the problem (noise) or the adult toilet itself? Because you can get foldable travel seat inserts to solve the ‘big toilet’ problem as she uses one at home anyway. That way you could provide it to the staff.

If it’s more about the noise, I’d imagine they can engineer taking her in an accessible toilet where no one will randomly turn on the drier. They might do this (a few of them taken into the accessible toilet in groups) anyway, as there’s bound to be some who need more assistance.

Can you volunteer to be a parent helper on the day and take a potty with you?

As long as the nursery staff are aware I'm sure they'll deal with it - your DD isn't the first and won't be the last at that age. My 6 year old still hates hand driers and often makes me cover his ears in people use one when we are in a public loo.

If you are super concerned, do they need parent volunteers? Could you go too?

i was going to recommend one of these for the big toilet issue - we used one for our also nearly 4yo who is on the small side too (around 95cm) although he has recently graduated to just holding on to the seat now. The fold up seat adaptors are great.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. The folding travel seat is a great idea, I'll get one as it'll be useful in any case. I'll mention to her teacher about the hand dryers, perhaps they could use an accessible toilet as you mentioned @NoSquirrels . She really freaks out when the hand dryers go off and she runs out crying, I've tried to get her to put her hands over her ears, or put a hat on or hood up. Still working on that. Maybe ear muffs would work.

I'll ask about parent volunteers but I also wanted her to go to increase her independence and confidence without me around.

As someone who has worked in a nursery for a long time, please don’t take any offence by this but you’re overthinking it. As a PP has mentioned, it’s highly likely she will act differently for the nursery staff. You’ve told them and I’m sure they’ll manage it just fine.

The folding seats are great, it was lovely to ditch the potty and have something so much smaller in my bag that meant my ds was comfortable with toilets when we were out and about. And SO many kids hate hand driers, this will not be a new issue for her nursery carers. We tend to use accessible toilets as quick as we can for that reason. My 7 year old still hates them. My 10 year old is relaxed about them now so we’ll get there eventually!

Thank you for the reply, I definitely am overthinking this. I didn't realise how many other children are worried about hand dryers until the other mums had replied. I'm sure the nursery have come across this before

I didn't even know there were such things as folding seat adaptors 😅

I'm surprised at how many children are frightened of the hand dryers. My dd isn't scared of other loud noises, she went on a theme park ride yesterday that made my ears ring afterwards, she loved it yet the hand dryers are the devil in her eyes.

My oldest DD was terrified of hand dryers from toddler age. I also had to use disabled access toilets if free (always felt guilty) as she became so distressed at someone switching the dryer on. Often lovely people realised as she would be in a panic from the second we stepped in and wouldn’t bother using it, which was so kind.
She grew out of it (mostly!) by school age and will use them now if necessary. She would rather use paper towels if possible though! I’m sure your DD will grow out of it too, often when they are in school/nursery environment with their peers they behave differently when they see others using them.

@LeonoraFlorence yes, hoping she grows out of it soon as I'm sure she will. I tried to use a disabled access toilet at the beach yesterday but it needed a special access key/card which is odd as I'm sure some disabled people do not have this key/card. We got a few steps into the ladies and she saw the dryer and ran out, it wasn't even on. Perhaps if she goes on the trip and sees other children using it she will not be so scared.

My 3 year old is very sensitive to loud noises (despite being very loud herself 🤦‍♀️😂), Public toilets are her nemesis. We did the fold up seat, we’ve brought wireless noise canceling headphones, I’ve heard post it’s are good to place over automatic flush sensors as well. But she’s getting better with age, particularly if she has a warning that the flush is going to go so she can cover her ears. A bit of bribery is also effective “you stay dry and use the big girl toilet, and there’s some chocolate or a toy/pocket money”. At least by 3 they can understand mostly.