Wanting another baby but absolutely dreading the newborn stage

[Helena1993]

Has anyone had this feeling? I have a 1y old and she's awesome. So funny (still a LOT of work) but I can't imagine doing the first 3-4 months again. It was nightmarish. Very little quality sleep and colic... she cried for HOURS every day. We were at our wits end and just fighting over everything. I also had no family support and my husband was.... eh........................................ not so helpful either. Didn't even sleep in the same room.

Well are you planning to have your second child with the same husband? If so it's him you need to tackle first!
Also both my daughters were total dreams I LOVE the newborn stage so it isn't always bad.

Yes. And we're going through IVF to have another...I often think WTF are we doing 😂😂😂

I’m 39+3 with #2. Dreading it but know it’s only for a season and it will get better. I don’t know if DH remembers quite how hard the newborn stage is. We also didn’t share a room after the first few weeks as he’s like a bear with a sore head if he hasn’t slept 8 hours. Can’t be as flexible with sleeping arrangements as with DC1. DC1 is 23mo and an absolute joy.

I feel the same in that the first three months of his life were the worst of mine. I'm accepting that I'll go through similar with the second. It's worth it to me though, I absolutely adore toddlerhood and beyond.

Can't help with the crap husband though, my struggles were nothing to do with him. If he'd been useless the first time, I wouldn't consider a second with him.

It’s torture but worth it. Make sure you get lots of rest at the end of pregnancy in preparation.
were you bf? To be honest many husbands sleep in separate rooms if they have to work the next day and your bf. They can’t practically do very much!

We have a 7 year age gap because I honestly couldn't bear the thought of doing the baby stage again... Our surprise baby is 7 months old and it's as tough as it was last time. I thought knowing it gets better would help, but somehow it's making the days and months feel longer. I'm just so eager for baby to be walking and talking, and to become a little person. I could not have done this with a younger child already, it would send me over the edge! DH also hates the baby stage too, but is much more proactive (and I guess confident) with caring for baby.

I miss my sleep 😭

I was sort of like this, a bit "apprehensive" maybe about having another baby. I knew I wanted more children, but the thought of the newborn phase was nightmarish 😂 Anyway, we're three months in with the newest baby and it's the best thing ever. She is A LOT easier than our first (who in fairness I didn't think was that difficult).
We left a fair age gap (3 years) and I think that helped as the older one is a bit more mature ofc and is generally just easier to deal with

My second is 3 months and is a dream compared to my first, she's so chilled out. My first was more difficult, she didn't start sleeping through the night and in her own bed until she was 18 months, exactly when my second was born thank god!

My second is 7 months old now and for me, the transition from 1-2 is a million times easier than 0-1. So many of the things that will have been difficult the first time around will not be at all difficult second time for two reasons:

1. No two babies are the same so it genuinely will not be the same experience anyway.
2. You are so much more experienced and much of what bothered you last time simply won't the next time because you've been there, got the t-shirt and are an expert.

Also, you think it's gone quickly with the first; I cannot comprehend how fast it's going now. I say my second is 7 months but she was actually only born a few weeks ago so clearly time and space have no meaning anymore anyway. So you really don't have a second newborn for very long at all.

Eh... never mind. He's so useless he won't even unload the dishwasher after I've told him for 2 days and starts to argue with me over it. He doesn't do any housework. Not gonna have another one with that guy

If your DH was good I'd say go for it. My DS1 was a nightmare velcro baby. I worked on the assumption that DS2 could be no worse and was pleasantly surprised.

But, two DC is hard work. Especially with a small age gap. You both need to be on board and work as a team. We had a two year age gap and it was tough. It would have been impossible with a totally useless DH.

You're absolutely right... He's so incredibly useless. WOW. He does even less than a normal working person would do after work without family around. He doesn't do any laundry, never cooks, never does ANYTHING but play video games all day (doesn't even pay attention to the child most of the time) and makes a mess everywhere.
Can you please change her nappy? No..................~ I can't, doing something in-game.
Okay, can you please do laundry? Eh........ later... (never happens really)
I keep telling him all these things over and over and over and over and then he tells me to stop moaning and bitching around. Great guy. 10/10 recommend.
Most days I don't even ask him to do anything and let him relax after he comes home and he plays games for 8 hours?

I seriously wish more women would warn other women about lazy, useless men. If they are lazy during the relationship it only gets worse after baby is born. The worst kind of men are the ones who are addicted to video games, really.