My Mum never comes to visit me and baby

[Ally0]

I’m feeling annoyed that I’m always expected to go round to my mums with my nearly 1 year old baby but she hardly ever comes to us. I usually go to her house every week but she never comes to us!

its such a pain because I have to pack everything for the day, food for my baby, toys , pram, etc and being out the house messes up his nap routine as he can’t sleep well unless it’s in his own cot at home. I ask my Mum to come over to us but she says oh it’s more convenient if you come to me… we live 30 minutes away from each other.

im at the point where I just want to stop visiting her full stop. Why do I always have to make the effort. I’m the one with a baby and going out disrupts his sleep! And guess who that affects… me!!! Because I’m then dealing with an overtired child!

sorry to rant I’m just annoyed. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this? How did you resolve it?

I have tried asking her to come here but she just makes excuses.

In the absence of other information (e.g. she cant travel etc) then just stop visiting her, when she makes a comment that she hasn't seen you or grandchild in a while, remark that she knows where you live and is welcome any time.

Don't go!

I know all families are different but once a week feels like quite a lot!

Do you have to go round each others houses even? And for the entire day?

Do something that’s convenient for both of you like meeting halfway for a walk and a coffee before or after nap time.

This one is easily fixed. Instead of every week, go every 2 weeks or less. If she complains that it isn't enough, tell her she's welcome to come to you, and explain how disruptive and tiring it is for you to bring the baby to her every time.
If she wants to see you more often, she can make the effort.

My in laws don't like coming to us, they just make excuses. I suspect it's the dogs, but they won't say anything. We just see them less, which means less help too. Not ideal but I don't like going to theirs either so it's the best of the two for me!