Screaming baby next door - help!

[thewillowbunnies]

How do I help? What do you suggest?

Background - lady next door already had one 'difficult' baby - constantly crying, screaming. Adults constantly screaming at the baby to shut up (and at each other)

Honestly, I suspect that the baby was picking up on the stressful home situation but of course could be other issues at play - milk allergy, colic, SEN possibly?

For the last 2 years this noise has disturbed our side constantly We've asked on a couple of occasions if everything is ok, but she dismisses us.

This baby is now about 3. Still constantly screaming but now screaming at the parents to 'shut up' 'NOOO' 'I'm not' that type of shouting defiance. They appear to be trying to be her on the naughty step and she refuses. They treat her very much like a baby - still dressed like one, walks around with a dummy in her mouth at all times, still drinking from a baby bottle etc.

Fast forward and there's now another baby in the mix (which honestly when she said she was pregnant I actually cried as already at wits end with the noise)

New baby is now also constantly screaming.

The whole house is just clearly chaos.

I work from home and the noise is literally causing me stress. My sleep is completely disrupted - both babies are waking in the night and then screaming from both adults to 'shut the fuck up' - instead of simply soothing them and taking them downstairs, they're kept upstairs and seemingly being allowed to cry it out. Even the Mums at school said I look like it's me who has the newborn!

I know babies cry. I've had a couple myself. But my two never cried or screamed this much.

At what point do I intervene/report?

What 'red flag's should I not be ignoring?

I feel stuck as there's no neighbour on the other side, so if I report she will 100% know it's come from me - and she's not the type of person I'd want to get on the wrong side of.

Just for info - Mum and Dad have lots and lots of support, parents on both sides, uncles, aunties, always someone coming round so it's not someone who could be struggling on their own.

Please given me some advice for how to deal with this. I realise she's having a much worse time as the noise must be 5 times louder in her own house but surely as a neighbour I shouldn't have to deal with everyone else's baby long after I've calmly and quietly dealt with my own! (when one of mine had colic I used to take them out in the car so that the crying wouldn't bother our then neighbour at the time)

Are you concerned for the children’s welfare?

Perhaps you need to contact SS.

I am not sure what you can do but we had issues with neighbours and we moved. Life felt so much better after that.
i tried ear plugs etc but we were so stressed it didn’t help. I found myself listening out for noise.
it really effected my relationship as both of us were so stressed and exhausted.
I have huge amounts of sympathy for you.

Someone screaming "shut the fuck up" at a crying child would have me googling the number for Social Services, and I'm pretty laid back.

My dd is the same. 4 and can be baby like with her dummy and her behaviours. She's autistic, cries a lot because of things out of her (and my control) for example, the wind blew her hair over her face. You would also hear me telling dd to be quiet and that's enough now because it's been 3 hours since the wind blew her hair in her face and she's still distraught.

She can't stop the kid from crying and with a 3 year old that's constantly upset, a new baby and a house with a big stream of support you adding the stress on isn't going to help and the kid won't stop crying just because you say so.

I get it must be difficult for you to live next door but you'll need to get some sound proofing/headphones, just put up with it or you need to move.

If you are genuinely concerned for the welfare of the child(ren) then contact social services. Children crying or shouting wouldn't be a concern, the adult's reaction possibly but it depends on frequency ... nightly yes, one in a while a parent getting to the end of their tether, not a concern

Whoa the fact they are screaming shut up to a baby is a huge red flag. Unfortunately babies cry, you cannot really control that (as annoying as it can be). However, adults screaming at babies is not normal and not ok. It’s not often I recommend contacting SS but perhaps on this occasion it might be worth a call.

In all honesty if there are adults screaming at babies to shut up repeatedly I’d call social services.

I'd call SS without a doubt.

I do have massive sympathy and yes I'm worried about the children. Neither sound happy. One of my kids asked if they were being abused (not funny in the slightest when you think it's even crossed his mind)

It's absolutely affecting mine and my husband's relationship as we're both so bloody snappy with each other as we're tired. I've also had to put him in my son's room which is away from the noise at night so he can sleep - and I've got my son in bed with me.

I do think we might have to move, as I'm nearly at breaking point.

And as someone else has said, I'm almost hearing crying/screaming now when it's not even happening as i"m listening out for noise.

I'm going to give them a call - and deal with the consequences afterwards (she will definitely be round on the bounce I'm sure)

Ditto pp. Someone shouting 'shut the fuck up' at any child would have me calling social services. They clearly aren't coping and need help. I would submit a report.

Yeah I did the same 😅 sold my house within 10 months of living there. If you are lucky enough to do so, may be worth looking to move elsewhere and check out potential neighbours there, too. Otherwise, not much you can do except try and get some sound proofing done?

I'd call social services because of somebody shouting shut the fuck up at their child.
If you're concerned about anonymity, do either of the children attend a nursery/preschool setting? You could contact the preschool and ask if they could do this as part of their safeguarding procedure. You can report to SS anonymously, I have done it before.

I do sympathise with what you are experiencing though. Our neighbours are incredibly loud, their children wake me up through the night and first thing in the morning. There is a lot of household noise (beyond normal levels), they have a very barky dog (dogs bark but this one barks in the garden for hours at a time) and their eldest is incredibly loud throughout the day. I have looked at the possibility of moving but we can't afford it in the current climate. I would love to live in a detached house.
Our neighbour on the other side is completely silent and I do love my house so it is a shame. We have never managed to live in a property with quiet neighbours.