Does your 1 year old seem different?

[BirdyMalone]

Hi all,

Does anyone find that since turning 1 their baby seems more... challenging? My little boy has gone from being sweet and amiable to moody and unpredictable. I know a large part of this is that he's moving around a lot more (not walking but crawling everywhere and desperate to explore!) and he's frustrated that he can't do more. He definitely doesn't like being in the buggy for any length of time.

His sleep is awful now, too! It takes us hours to get him to go to bed. We try reading books together, singing lullabies, keeping things dark and speaking in hushed voices. But he won't sit still! He'll look at the books for a bit (he does like books), but it's like he knows we're trying to get him to go to sleep and he wants to get away! He NEVER gets to the 'awake but drowsy ' stage, so we end up putting him in his cot and just hoping for the best... And he cries his eyes out every damn time! We've tried letting him cry it out, but he cries so much sometimes he makes himself sick ☹️ We now put him in the car when it's bedtime because we know he'll fall asleep like that... and luckily he remains asleep even once we transfer him to his cot. Granted, he awakes again at 2... and then 4... and then we bring him into bed with us 🤦🏼‍♀️ Something I swore I'd never do! (But secretly love.)

I'm getting a bit desperate now! I know being a parent isn't easy and I also know things will always be challenging, but I really need some advice! I don't find the Health Visitors in our area particularly helpful.

Thanks in advance... ☺️

Just remember, it’s all a phase and it will pass.

I could have written this 4 months ago! My sweet baby girl turned all of a sudden a demanding toddler with tantrums in every 30 minutes.
Yes, they start to hate the buggy around this time as they more interested in crawling or walking. I stopped using it for a while and now she likes it again.
We also struggled with sleep ( I also enjoyed bringing her to bed with us) but it became very frequent and earlier every night. So...sleep trained. Worked amazingly and was much faster and easier as I imagined.
The thing is, we like it or not, this is the time to start the more strict parenting. Before 12 months I was like: oh she's a baby and it's ok, she doesn't know. Well! Now they know! Be careful when you say no: but when it's a no, its a no! Regardless how long his tantrum will last about it.
I also found this very challenging times! Takes some time to get used to this "from baby to a little toddler" stage!

Yes, unfortunately they become toddlers! I always used to say I felt like I was walking a tightrope....one wrong move could trigger a meltdown! But you do learn to manage it....I agree with PP, you have to hold boundaries for the important things, but also decide which hills you're willing to die on (i.e. if DD wants to wear her coat to eat dinner I really don't care it's not worth the fight!)

It's definitely tough phase. I've just come out the other side of it with a fully mobile (mostly happy) toddler at 13.5 months. His little brain was going crazy with being on the cusp of walking, gaining independence, speaking a few words...
Coffee for you is my advice. I wouldn't sleep train at this point, he'll be feeling insecure

Oh, my sympathies OP. Our DD is about to turn 1 in a few weeks. She's very against the high chair and pram most of the time now, and incredibly demanding. Wants everything we've got. Like PP, I pick my battles. No means no for anything remotely unsafe or potentially very confusing for later boundaries, yes to everything else. She's now content with just looking at the hot coffee in my cup 😂

Thankfully we haven't yet hit a sleep regression so we can handle all the moods okay. I'm hoping that because we've always had a strict bedtime, and we sleep trained at 7 months, we'll avoid the worst of it. I'm prepared for her to give us hell overnight at some point, though. 😱

Is your DS in nursery? DD just started and honestly it wears her out, which has helped. Lots of physical and mental stimulation, coupled with decent naps to stave off the overtiredness. I think that's probably the key, but I'm holding on to the 'just a phase' advice!

May I ask what the sleep training involved for you and your little one? I see all sorts of different methods.. We have tried sleep training in the past, with some moderate success. Obviously it didn't last though :p I'm worried we've missed the boat and will now be in for messed up nights for the foreseeable future!

Yes, I have my mum in my head telling me to choose my battles! And when it's important, no means no and little one needs to understand that! Unfortunately my mum passed away 7 years ago now, but luckily we used to chat about these sorts of things (I have older nieces and nephews) and I remember some of it :)

Oh that's interesting you say not to sleep train... You may have a point, perhaps that's why he gets himself in such a state he winds up being sick? 😢

Oh yeah for sure. DD is 14 mo and non stop - she’s the only one at the baby groups we go to who walks around saying hello to everyone, looking in people’s bags and trying to get their drinks and shoes (obviously I stop this), inspects fire extinguishers etc. Literally every other baby either sits on their parent’s lap or engages with the class (I have been purposefully observing to see if any other babies are as…… —annoying— inquisitive!)

My oldest was the same and he’s a totally regular kid.

It’s a trying phase! trying to get her onto 1 nap but today that meant she only slept for 1 hour all day 11-12, usually has about 4 hours over 2 naps. She STILL puts everything in her mouth so I don’t want to do forest school, messy play etc yet. An in between age, lots of ability but zero sense.

He's not in nursery yet, no... I was waiting until he's about 3 just so we can get the free hours. But maybe he should go a bit earlier... He'd probably love it.

@BirdyMalone We didn't wanted to to the hard-core leave the baby in the room.
I guess the method depends on what you are trying to achieve. For us, the most important thing was to teach her how to go back to sleep by herself when she wakes up in the middle of the night (she started to wake up in every two hours and needed milk or rocking to go back to sleep).
So at nigtime we started with the books, lullabies which she really likes. Usually we let her fell asleep on us in the rocking chair. We changed that: we put her down into the cot when she was starting to get sleepy. We stayed next to her, talked to her and conforted her but did not take her out the cot. The important thing was to keep her down- she wanted to get up either sitting or standing, so we had to move her back constantly.
When she was down, we left the room. Waited for two minutes and went back (she was crying). Again, not taking her out of the cot, but talking and conforting and moved her back into sleeping position. Left a room again for 3 minutes, went back and did the same....so basically we just added and extra minutes every time until she wasn't crying anymore. It took her an hour in the first night to fall asleep and since she doesn't get up in the middle of the night--- or if she does she comforts herself back to sleep (usually cuddling her toy or blanket).
Well, when she sick or teething she still gets up but sleeping through the night otherwise.

If you don't want to leave the room I would suggest the chair method--- you sitting next to them and moving the chair further away every time.
I guess it's depends on their personality which will be the best for them.

My dc is 13.5m now and I've not noticed any significant change in her temperament. She's laid back, and has tagged along as a younger sibling pretty well. She likes being in her buggy, craning her neck and peering around as we pass something interest going on ( we live in Soho so there's always something interesting going on!).

She still waking a couple of times a night but is able to settle back to sleep, sometimes by herself. I nurse her to sleep which goes against a lot of advice, but we both like it and it works for us.

She is finger walking and climbing on every surface but doesn't get too frustrated I think because I let her climb, supervised, and challenge herself. Most of the house is babyproofed so she can explore fairly freely. And we go to loads of places to play physically - soft play, gymboree, gymnastics, dance, so she gets a chance to practice physical skills in a safe environment.

My DD definitely went through a cranky and frustrated phase when she was just on the cusp of being able to walk and communicate. It was understandable in hindsight, and it shall pass, hang on in there! My sweet little thing did return eventually but with a slight devilish streak.

Also drowsy but awake wasn’t a thing for us until very very recently and my kid is almost 2. She took a nap on the living room floor the other day whereas when she was just 1 it was still white noise, blackout blinds and all that palava.

For the first year the only thing drowsy but awake was me.