Taking down the top stair gate?

[CrazyCatLadyWantsADog]

DD is just 3 but big and very capable for her age. My OH read that we shouldn’t be using stair gates after 24 months so has gone and removed the top one (we have a dog downstairs so the bottom one is staying). DD is very capable of walking up and down stairs but that’s not what I’m worried about - I’m worried about the relatively small landing space she could fall down with one misstep whilst playing upstairs (see pic). I’ve expressed some concern to OH who says DD isn’t “an idiot” and will be fine. But I feel really anxious about this - I’ve got visions of not sleeping for weeks on end with the worry (not that she comes out much at night)

Sorry this may not be helpful but I have a 3 year old and won’t be removing ours for a while as I worry about him getting out of bed while sleepy and falling. We’ve taken them off the lounge and he navigates the stairs quite well but I’d struggle to sleep too.

Top stair gates are dangerous as if the child climbs it they fall down the stairs from the height of the stair gate. Much worse than “just” falling from the top of the stairs.

remove it and supervise upstairs. I only ever had a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs.

DS is just shy of 23mo and we took it down when he was about 18mo because he tried to climb over it. We occasionally have to remind him to walk sensibly down the stairs and not jump (his new favourite thing to do). Unlike PP he can’t get out of his room because we have knobs not handles but when I get him in the morning he heads straight for the stairs and I don’t think twice about him not being safe. I would argue she needs to learn to be safe around the stairs and not assume there will always be a barrier.

I have a 4.5 and twin 3.5yr olds... we don't have a stair gate at top of stairs as I thought the same as your DH.... but now I really really wish we had one. The amount of times my three are stood next to the top step playing, pushing, walking past one another, and they've nearly fallen is ridiculous.
How often does your daughter fall over randomly on a day out?
If I had one, I'd be installing it

We have a much smaller space outside the bedrooms and have never had a stair gate as DS would just have seen them as a challenge. I tend to go with your DH - DS isn't an idiot and has managed not to fall down yet (he's 4 in a few months). If he's playing in his room, I tend to be there too. At night, he doesn't come out but if he did, we'd hear the door/the monitor would alert us to him before he could get very far.

It isn’t recommended to have one at the top of stairs due to the risk of tripping over them, falling through them if leant on or climbing them,

I never bothered with a bottom stair gate but still have the top one. dC are 5 and almost 3. It’s the wrong turn in the night that worries me. If the youngest wants me in the night she has to pass the top of the stairs. Neither are upstairs unsupervised so there’s low risk of the stair gate being climbed.

We got rid of ours when dd nearly 2 - she pushed it so hard it came off the wall!! Luckily she didn't fall down with it. They're not designed to withstand bigger toddlers.

We now have no gate but I'm very strict about no playing on the top landing (and I'm rarely strict about anything). I think that's the best way to do it.

Ps we used to worry about wrong turns in the night but we just have night lights so she can see her way. Dd has thankfully never taken a wrong turn at night, including at the holiday cottage we often go to (with eyewateringly steep stairs and a tiny landing). I don't think she's likely to either - I think it's more the sort of thing drunk adults do

Same here

I removed the baby gate from the stairs and put it on the children's bedroom door. They don't generally get up for the toilet in the night but I like to know they are contained. My daughters are 4 and 3. They aren't idiots but my 4 year old has fallen down the stairs twice and my SIL fell down them once as well. My kids run everywhere. Having the baby gate gives me time to remind them to slow down and hold the banister.

Baby gates should never be used at the top of stairs due to the risk of it being pushed or child climbing over ms stalling down stairs. Better to have on child’s bedroom door if needed

Ds is just 3. We have never had a stair gate upstairs. I can’t imagine him needing it as he races around the house. we Laos have lots of concrete stairs outside he navigates all the time which are far more dangerous and can’t be gated.

His nursery is on three floors, they have 70 children age 18 months+ and no stair gates.

Most gates do say 0-24months if you look at them. A 3 year old will generally just climb over them

DD climbed over ours at 18mo and ended up in hospital (she was fine after). I never replaced it for our second child and we did fine.

We’ve never had one at the top, it’s more of a hazard.

Mines still there and my twins are 7. They have to cross a narrow hallway to get to me or the bathroom at night and one has a tendency to sleepwalk. I don't lock it, just push it to. That way it can be opened easily but still forms a barrier if they fall in that direction and helps guide them the right way!
Those of you saying never have gates at the top of the stairs as they can be pushed over or tripped over - that's specific to pressure fit gates which should not be used at the top of the stairs.

@YomAsalYomBasal - no it’s all gates. As even screwed in ones create a false sense of security. Ie you say you use for 7 year old still as safety, if someone forgets to push it to properly one day, and someone grabs it assuming it will break fall, they will just fly down the stairs. They are also weigh dependent, so a 7 year old or adult falling into screwed one could still just fly open, it’s not screwed at opening only wall, the opening it just a latch maximum . Hence only 0-24 months on packaging.

@Caspianberg there aren't age limits, you are meant to make an assessment of your own situation. Mine can't fly open and is extremely sturdy.
OP if you feel it is safer with the stairgate on you are not alone. There's no rush to get rid of them IMO.

We have a top stair gate, but my DS2.5 can slide under it. DD 17mo hasn't worked it out yet. DS is huge for his age and still cant climb over either the top or bottom one.

I keep it because their door is directly next to the stairs and I don't want them to sleepily fall in the middle of the night if they wake.

Its also incredibly sturdy, I have fallen into them and they haven't budged! We use the extra tall BabyDan ones they are fab.

My DD is almost 3 and if we didn’t have her little brother we’d have got rid of ours by now. She’s been good on the stairs for ages. He’s only 10 months though so they’ll be hanging around a little bit longer!

I think your answer is to ensure if she is playing upstairs she doesn't play on the landing, at 3 she will understand her room is for play, not the landing.

I still have mine up and DS is nearly 5! If he wakes in the night and comes to our room I don't want him to fall down the stairs when he's sleepy

Also, I can't be bothered to fill the holes if I take it down 🤣