Feeling very low about toddler sleep

[Rowlie]

My DS is 20 months. From about 6-12m he slept through the night without a peep, although always woke early (5.30am ish).

Since around 12m sleep seems to have gotten worse and worse. He never sleeps through the night anymore. Every night seems different or he gets into a pattern of doing one thing for a week or so then it changes again. Some nights he is up for an hour or so just making noise but not crying. Other nights he is hysterical multiple times a night. We only attend to him if he is actually upset. We reassure, offer water or give Calpol if we think unwell.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Feeling like we are doing something wrong for it to be this bad, at this age, for such a long period of time. Seriously wondering if he will ever sleep properly again. Every morning he is tired and grouchy, yawning as soon as he’s up.

He has one nap a day 12-2pm ish, I never let him have over 2 hours. Often he has less when in childcare, about 1hr 30.

He goes to bed around 7.30pm and always falls asleep with absolutely no issue.

Starting to wonder if there is some kind of underlying issue affecting his sleep but no idea where to start investigating this. Or is this just normal baby/toddler behaviour? Please help.

Honestly, that sounds fairly normal for his age. Lots don't sleep through or anywhere near at 20m. Mine certainly didn't and were worse than your son sounds tbh. I know more children of that age which woke/wake, than slept through.

It's a myth given to new parents I think, that sleep always improves, and that sleepless nights are only for small babies.

Even now my eldest is in infants school, lots (including my child) still wake at night, end up sharing beds with parents, hopping between beds at night etc.

Thanks, that is reassuring. I do have to remind myself that sleep isn’t linear but I think it’s come as a shock that he is now so bad when he used to sleep through. All my IRL parent friends seem to have toddlers that either sleep through or sleep has improved since baby days, whilst ours is getting worse!

My 2 year old has slept through once and only once and I'm not kidding. There is nothing I can do as I've no idea what it is most of the time, teeth, separation anxiety the list goes on! My eldest goes to bed fine on her own now at age 7 and has slept through the night since she was about 4 so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Some kids just don't sleep and those that do have sleeping toddlers are the lucky ones I think!

My 3 year old has only slept through ONCE.

At my mums!

There are so many things that can just niggle and bother them while they grow. Its also such a massive time of learning that their brains have so much to process.

You sound like you are doing a fantastic job, and fingers crossed it gets better! Sleep isnt linear but overall it does improve! DD used to wake up every half an hour for 18 months, we are down to one wake a night now!

No advice but my oldest DD was always a terrible sleeper, which we mostly put down to developmental leaps, teething, etc. She would go to bed between 7.30 and 8pm but would wake up at least once a night for at least an hour or two then we'd get her back to sleep and she'd be awake properly at 6am. Naps during the day made little difference to the night sleep. She suddenly started sleeping through from 8pm to 6am at 2.5 years, we didn't change her routine, it just happened one night. Hang in there, it's tough running on disturbed sleep.