Help - second baby drama, toddler upset

[OhwhyOY]

Hi all,

I wondered if anyone has any advice on what to do about my toddler's upset over the arrival of the new baby. She's 2 and 3 months, baby is a week old. Despite trying my best to spend time with her and make her feel loved she told her dad last night when she woke up at 3am that she was worried mummy didn't love her.

It's tricky as her dad works away a lot so she's very attached to me, but sometimes inevitably I need to do things with the baby so can't immediately meet her requests. Dad is giving her lots of attention but she's missing me. I still breastfeed her so do my best to let her feed when she wants to, even if baby also is. I am also praising her lots and giving her lots of cuddles. But she's obviously still feeling sad and is struggling with her sleep, plus being very disobedient. Any advice?

NB she actually seems to love the baby and always wants to kiss him and play with him, I think it's just feeling less attention from me that's the issue.

Hugs for you. It is natural but very hard. My eldest rejected me in favour of her dad which I found so upsetting. But it sorted itself out. I just had to keep going, doing my best to show her how much I love her, lots of physical affection and affirming statements of love. Made sure even when doing things for baby I was talking about her eg "your big sister is so lovely, she's such a wonderful brave big girl" etc. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job. Your elder one is also doing brilliantly to be able to express her anxiety verbally

Does she have 2 similar toys e.g. 2 dolls, cats etc. that she likes, but one was bought before the other? Maybe use them when playing and when she plays with both, say it reminds you of your babies, because one is newer tha nthe other but you love them both equally.