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Original poster

Partner not here at weekends

46 replies

Baby2023 · 05/06/2023 21:01

my partner has kids with with his ex ( 3 ). We recently had a little boy together who is 9 weeks old. We don’t live together right now due to finances. Every weekend Friday to Sunday he is at his all weekend with his kids. He dosent come round to see us at all during the weekend. He sees him for a few hours after work in the week before we go to bed . I habe told him I would like him here at weekends but he has said it is the way it has to be ! Is it ? Is it even worth us being together when I do most of the parenting on my own anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 07:41

He has two children from his past relationships that are 3

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 06/06/2023 07:53

He brings nothing to your life or to your children’s lives. Get rid of him and claim maintenance.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 06/06/2023 08:00

He sounds like a compete waster op and I'm not sure what benefits he brings to you or your babies life.

Put a claim in with the CMS for maintenance for starters, then tell him he can have access to the baby at x times on x days and then I'd leave him to it.

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Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 06/06/2023 08:01

Best not to add a fifth kid in the mix if you can barely survive 😕

Exactly. If you have to split households to get the max benefits because you don't work, you shouldn't be having another child at all. Instead focus on getting a job.

Original poster
Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 08:06

I am a student at the minute full time at university. No I don’t have a job at the minute. But planning to go back to work next year once my youngest is 1

OP posts:
Original poster
Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 09:34

We just had a conversation he basically said the kids he has comes first and that he wants time alone with them at weekends. He said he didn’t want the baby but he is here now.

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 06/06/2023 09:42

This 'relationship' is going nowhere. He resents the baby's existence. Get onto CMS and get him paying child maintenance for the baby - that is the very least he can do.

MayThe4th · 06/06/2023 09:45

So, he doesn’t live with you because you’re a student and claiming benefits? So you’re committing benefit fraud then?

He sounds like a waster but tbh I find it hard to sympathise with people who end up having yet more children when they can’t afford the ones they already have, and I don’t believe that the contraceptive failure rate is that high that it seems that only people in fairly new relationships end up with ;) unplanned pregnancies.

SkyandSurf · 06/06/2023 09:47

Break up and claim maintenance immediately.

Original poster
Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 09:47

My iud moved but thanks for your input

OP posts:
pukepoint3 · 06/06/2023 09:50

This man needs a vasectomy.

Athrawes · 06/06/2023 09:57

He's not your partner, he is merely the father of your child.
You live separately and he sometimes visits.
Claim maintenance asap.

rainbowstardrops · 06/06/2023 10:04

Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 09:34

We just had a conversation he basically said the kids he has comes first and that he wants time alone with them at weekends. He said he didn’t want the baby but he is here now.

😮
You what?!!! So basically, he doesn't see the baby as anything to do with him? Get rid love!

CurlewKate · 06/06/2023 10:44

Dump.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 06/06/2023 10:48

Do his kids know about the baby?

aSofaNearYou · 06/06/2023 10:48

Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 09:34

We just had a conversation he basically said the kids he has comes first and that he wants time alone with them at weekends. He said he didn’t want the baby but he is here now.

And you're staying with him? I wouldn't have a baby without living with the dad so they can do their fair share. I certainly wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who flat out told me their other kids mattered more to them and they didn't want our child. I'd break up with him, go to CMS, wait to see if he contacts you seeing the baby, I wouldn't be going out of my way to facilitate it given his attitude.

Original poster
Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 11:07

ZeroFuchsGiven · 06/06/2023 10:48

Do his kids know about the baby?

Yes they know about the baby they have seen him twice

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aSofaNearYou · 06/06/2023 11:13

Call his bluff OP - so he didn't want the baby when you conceived, does he want them now that they are here and he's bonded with them? If so, he needs to STFU about how he didn't want them, it's not an excuse to not do his share given he wants a relationship with them now. If not, then he can stop seeing the baby, can't he. It's not in their interest to get attached to him if he still genuinely doesn't want them.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 06/06/2023 12:15

Is the baby his?

He is a disgrace if so. Dump him and claim maintenance. There is nothing moving forward in this relationship and he is a selfish prick.

Original poster
Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 12:31

Neverinamonthofsundays · 06/06/2023 12:15

Is the baby his?

He is a disgrace if so. Dump him and claim maintenance. There is nothing moving forward in this relationship and he is a selfish prick.

Yes the baby is his

OP posts:
Maloneyb · 06/06/2023 12:53

Baby2023 · 06/06/2023 09:34

We just had a conversation he basically said the kids he has comes first and that he wants time alone with them at weekends. He said he didn’t want the baby but he is here now.

Girl, know your worth and your baby’s worth.
kick him to the kerb and look after you and baby.
sounds like a right tool.
sorru you’re going through this.

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