DD over 3 and still not interested....HELP!

[frenchchick]

Have tried everything to potty train DD. She's more than happy to use a toilet when we go out but when I then make the conversion to pants she 1) refuses to go 2) doesn't get distressed when she wets herself and 3) is simply not interested. How can I make her interested?????

This may not be that helpful, but I'm not sure you can. I honestly think it's best just to take the pressure off and see if she'll get there herself. How much over 3 is she? So many don't train until almost three, or 3 (it's the best age) so to be over three isn't really a bad thing.

Does she have any little pals that are potty trained that you could hang out with? We are happily into week 2 now and madly, she is also going without nappy at night, but as little as 6 weeks ago, we had tried and it was an utter disaster. I think a little switch will go on in her brain one day and it'll be her time to train.

Is there anything in any previous attempts to train her, or things that may have happened around the potty that might explain her reluctance? She may be reticent because she just knows herself she won't be able to manage it yet - kids can be smart like that - which would explain why she gets distressed at the thought of it. My DD would wee on the potty for 8 months before she was actually ready to train .Good luck, and ignore any social pressure you may be feeling.

I agree with sycamoretree. My DD had (in her opinion) far better things to do than potty train until she was over three - I don't think there is much you can do to get her interested. I suspect she might be a little bit stubborn/strong willed (?) - she'll do it in her own time.

Definitely ignore any comments you might get about how late she is training (used to drive me up the wall with DD1).

If it is any consolation, when my DD was ready, she did it all herself and was dry 24 hours with 3 days. She just woke up one morning and said, 'Mummy, I want to wear pants now' and that was it.. job done without and stress at all

hth

Yes, my experience with DD 2.6 is similar. It was very quick this time round.

DD is 3 years, 3 months. She's always known her own mind and is incredibly stubborn and strong willed. Add to this - you're right and I hadn't thought about it - she finds running around playing much more interesting than where she does a wee.

Also I think I made a mistake because I did the whole 'take the nappies off and away we go' routine for four days and there was wee literally everywhere. But she wasn't upset - she was just, like "mum I need some more trousers". Then she started refusing to go to the loo when prompted and weeing a few minutes later. Several months later I tried again with the same result. So I think she now is in the position where she doesn't even want to have a go.

So I've completely backed off. She goes to the loo the whole time when we're out and about which I don't understand. And she also happily follows her friends onto the loo when she sees them. So she can do it but won't at home when it's the two of us (she's an only child - my ovaries seem to have ground to a halt). Do I carry on with the way it is quietly encouraging her when she decides to have a go?

She's the only one in her group of friends/pre-school who isn't trained and the comments are starting to really get to me.

Frenchchick, I am in exactly the same position with ds. He turned 3 end of December. He is the only one at nursery not properly "trained" (I hate that word). He can use the toilet/potty but basiscally can't be bothered. Isn't fussed if he is wet. When I ask him why he didn't go to the toilet he simply says he "didn't want to". I am tearing my hair out over this. The only way to avoid accidents is to take him to the toiltet every 45mins or so, but he has never volunteetered to go himself. I will be watching this thread to see if anyone has any pearls of wisdom.

She will do it when she is ready and really wants to. DS and DD were both well over three when they responded to my monthly question of "pants or nappy" with "pants". They had one accident each and that was it. Be patient - then it will happen with no stress and no mess!

Yes, I know it might seem easy for me to say, as my DD is younger, but she was just as blase about accidents when we tried to train her too young. I nearly really lost my temper once, which is how I knew I had to put her back in nappies. She even jumped up and down in her "puddle" on the carpet one time. It just means, they ain't ready. She was like, "la la la, mummy, I just did a wee wee by my chair - you clean it up now "

I just thought, why doesn't she care she has wet herself .Isn't it uncomfortable? Doesn't she want to be proud of herself? Doesn't she want all the bloody chocolate she's been promised? It must be SO frustrating, but it could be only a few more weeks before the lightbulb moment occurs. Hang on it there, and screw anyone else who thinks it's their business to comment.

That's very funny and very true. DD not interested in bloody chocolate, sodding stickers or even the top prize of a flipping puzzle for doing a poo in her potty.

I think that pretty much tells you she's not ready yet! Don't despair - it's not because she'll never be. Why not make a note on your calendar and ask her every two weeks from now on, pants or nappies ? If she says nappies, just say "ok darling, that's fine" and smile as though it's of absolutely no importance to you which way she answers. One day you'll get the one you're looking for, and I bet she'll train in 24 hours when the time is right.