1st birthday and neighbours presents

[Cluelessfirstimer]

Baby will be one next week and our neighbours just gave us his present as they are away next week.

For back ground we don't know them massively well. We have lived here 2 years and exchange hellos and Christmas cards etc. Have the odd chat over the fence. They have grown up children so none our age.

This present is a £300 bracelet. I know this as they included the receipt if there were any issues.

This is really lovely but I'm annoyed if I'm honest. We have got him a £70 3 in 1 trike. I know he doesn't understand the concept of money but it's made me feel awful.

Am I just being an ungrateful cow? Should I say something (in which case how do I even approach it...) or just be grateful of their generousity? I guess it isn't a big deal right now but in 5 years time if they did the same it would start to make me feel even worse

He’s 1 so he’s not going to care about a bracelet and the trike will be far more fun and exciting!
But I don’t think that’s the issue here. It is very unusual for a neighbour to buy such an expensive gift especially as you say that you are not even close to them. I’m not sure how you should approach this really. Are they now going to be expecting big gifts in return?

It's way OTT for a neighbour you barely know.

Id be more worried they expect something in return, do they see their grown up children much? Might they expect some kind of support from you?

I'd return in and say thank you, very generous but we can't accept and they can get a refund.

The children still live with them (in their 20s ) but yeah it's not like we are best friends with them so it's quite strange.

That's also my worry - they have a big anniversary in October and I wasn't actually planning on getting them anything (they have only mentioned it on passing to us) but now may have to miss a mortgage payment to get them a gift 😅

I think I need to politely return it and say its lovely but we cannot accept it. It's just a bit strange. Nice of them, but feels way OTT.

I also think you had better return it. Too much obligation there potentially and totally unsuitable both for the child and the type of relationship.

I'm worried about offending them returning it but at the same time cannot get into buying extravagant gifts for people I barely know. My mums lucky if she gets a £50 voucher for her birthday from us!

He’s one. Just be grateful and say thank you.

Which at first I was going to do but I don't want to get into this extravagant gift giving with neighbours. Anything I ever buy for them I'll feel isn't enough because I surely won't be spending that sort of cash

And what about when he's 5 and buying him gifts for that sort of money. It would really make me feel terrible. It already has that neighbours he barely knows has spent 3x more on him than I have

Are they from a different culture where gifts are more generous than they might be in England?

Good ppint...They are a different culture yes which now makes me nervous to insult them but it really is too much. Am I expected to also spend this kind of money on gifts for them? They actively asked when his birthday was too. We didn't bring it up in any conversation

As a one off, I mean it's nice but what if it continues and as another PP pointed out its not really appropriate for the sort of relationship they have with him. They say hello to him when they see us and comment how big he's getting but that's the extent of it.

Oh now im even more nervous

They wouldn’t have brought it if they couldn’t afford it.
I think it’s nice and shows how much they like your little boy. They may think it’ll be something that’ll increase in value so it’s a lifelong gift. .
They may get a lot of pleasure from seeing a baby and it shows they value you as neighbours.
I wouldn’t insult them by returning it, just accept it with the goodwill it was given, as I don’t think there any other agenda .

I had a similar issue. I felt angry too! It’s such an awkward thing. What I ended up doing after some days was thanking them so much, but saying half-jokingly that they were very naughty for spending that much of their money on me! I kept the item as I think it would feel upsetting to have a gift rejected.