Mums of 3 - what is it like?

[lilacsky89]

Considering ttc a third baby - seems like such a big decision more so than the first or second.

Husband is eager to add one last baby but I keep thinking of the logistics. My heart says yes but my head is worried.

• how will it effect current 2 children? Will their quality of life decrease due to attention being shared between 3 etc or will it do the opposite and be an extra playmate? 🤷🏼‍♀️

• will I cope with 3 children, that is a lot?

My eldest is 5.5 and my youngest is 2.

Any honest experiences shared would help, I feel I need to decide soon as don't want to leave it too late if we do go for it

It's very busy. Obviously, you are always outnumbered.... that's challenging when they are little e.g. you can't totally divide and conquer bedtime, and when you are doing it alone it can be very challenging if even one is feeling ill/uncooperative. As they get older, they may have different social engagements and that is a juggling act - again, as you are outnumbered it is possible you just won't be able to please everyone. Tummy bugs are tough unless you happen to have a lot of bathrooms!!! Washing/dishwasher load obviously increases, and so does number of toys left out when theu are little. Basically slightly higher workload on everything. Only.you know if that works for your family. Does your DH pull his weight? (Mine doesn't. It's rather a bugger.)

They are entertained by watching each other, so don't require quite as much 1:1 attention as if there are fewer children around. Pros and cons of that.

Impact on older child depends a lot on that child - what do they like doing? Is it something a baby/toddler can slot in with e.g. going to playgrounds/walks, or do they love Lego (toddlers destroy a lot of this! Also be careful with precious art work of elder children). Do they like smaller children to play with? How are they with existing sibling?

Do you have space? Pram/baby your and paraphenalia/eventual bedroom?

Fucking carnage

@MrsBarbaraLangerhans 😂

@TinyTeacher my eldest is brilliant with youngest and keeps asking for a baby brother or sister. But of course they may not fully understand the impact of an extra sibling.

DH is very good, I'm really lucky. Very hands on Dad and will help out around the house.

Thanks for the honest replies. A lot to think about for sure - it seems third babies are very much more of a heart want than head want 😅 problem is usually the heart wins.. so we shall see haha

Haha yes fucking carnage

We feel complete - finally have lost that longing every time I see a pregnancy women or baby

Love her to bits but it's hard work and you've got to roll.with it, I don't think anyone who struggled with 2 should consider it

Wouldn't change a thing she really is perfect and I would never have felt complete without her , but it would have been a million times easier with 2

I have three, I just about had three under 5 when the youngest was born. It was relentless for the first few years, although they are all lovely children.

They are now 15,13,10 and it is still full on with school, friendship stuff, activities etc. I think I thought I would get easier as they got older. It's different, but no easier to be honest!

What’s really lovely is that there are far more options for play as different partnerships emerge at different ages. They are all grown up now and good friends. There isn’t the head to head trouble you can get with two. It was busy and we couldn’t afford holidays abroad except occasionally but I don’t regret it one bit.

It’s absolutely wonderful and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The other two adore the third. It’s chaotic but I love a big chaotic family! When it’s bliss it’s the biggest bliss I know.
i really wanted it, didn’t care too much about the logistics. I knew we’d cope and we do. In fact we thrive.

I have three now aged 11, 14 and 16. It was pretty full on, but then so was 2 under 2! With the gap you would have you’d have some really nice time with the third one while the others are at school and nursery and because it’s your third you’ll be mor relaxed and enjoy it more.

New to the mum of 3, as youngest is pretty new (month old) so may not be the best person to have an opinion. Mine are 6 and 4 it's worked out nicely as they can get themselves dressed, washed, entertain each other etc and are at school so lots of 1:1 with baby and when shes a asleep, i try to make time to get involved with whatever the elders are doing, however, it's a nightmare car wise hardly any decent cars to accommodate us all pretty much left with 7 Seaters. Going out alone can be challenging as they all want to be in different directions! This is probably personal to me but I found 3rd baby the hardest pregnancy and most complicated/hardest birth of my tribe lol! Washing machine is always on and housework never stops! I do love it though, I've really actually enjoyed it and wouldn't change it for anything, mine understand the baby is ickle so she needs me a lot and aren't jealous at all, so it's been really nice. I think the key with 3+ is to be Organised, allow extra time for everything and have good support from DH or whoever x

I had my third when my other two were 4 and 2. The baby years were fine as she slotted in and was an easy baby. My middle was an easy toddler. I think a lot depends on the kids but I personally found it easier than the move from 1 to 2 kids. But my middle one was a trying baby tbh!

You defo need an equal partner. I don't need to tell my husband to do stuff. We're a team.

It can be tricky E.g on holiday when you're in the pool and things but easier now they are older. They all play together which is nice. An instant party for celebrations, etc!

I do feel stretched. We both have demanding jobs too but I love it. I think you need to have a crack on type mentality and not mind having little time to yourself or being sleep deprived!

Love love love!
It’s busy and you have to be super organised in order to make it easier for your self. But I love the house full of children and love. Our older children adore their younger sibling. If you have a good husband that helps and can afford it I’d definitely go for it!