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Help! 7 year old acting out

7 replies

Alyssa80 · 01/06/2023 19:38

Hi,

I’m a single mother and my 7 and a half year old daughter is very very difficult lately.

She used to be a very quiet and easy going baby and child but slowly started to be very argumentative. Everything had to turn into a 10 mn explanation. For the smallest things like asking her to pickup her shoes. She would ask “why ? why do I have to take it ? Why do you always ask me to do these things ? why can’t you do them yourself ?”

At first I would take time and explain but
after a while it became draining. She would argue about every little thing every time, all the time. Eventually I lost patience and started yelling and giving her orders and timeouts.

After a while it got better. She would still argue but whenever I raised my voice or threatened to punish her, she would stop.

lately though, things took a turn for the worst. I barely recognize her. She makes demands and when I say no she yells and stomps her feet. It’s the same behavior when I ask her to do something. When I give her a timeout she says she doesn’t care. Yesterday she told me she doesn’t want to live with me anymore and wished she had another parent. I couldn’t help it and I cried…

This afternoon we’re at it again. Fighting, yelling, threatening for everything. I have the feeling that I’m losing not only my authority over her but also our connection. The faces she makes, the attitude when she defies me… It’s really painful.

I was bracing myself for those teenage years but 7 is so young to go through this and I’m totally lost. I really don’t know what to do. How will she be at 14 or 16 if she’s already that difficult at… 7 ?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Alyssa80 · 18/06/2023 18:34

Anyone please, help. I’m drowning here

OP posts:
Randobelia · 18/06/2023 18:38

Is she getting enough sleep? And enough food, routine etc?

Can you think of anything that might have triggered this? No bullying at school or anything?

Cocoalover · 18/06/2023 18:42

Has anything at all in her life changed? Is something upsetting her at school or somewhere else? It could be that something is bothering her, or it could just be her age, her personality, and perhaps testing boundaries and seeing how far she can push you. There's lots of things that could be causing this behaviour. Have a think and try to see if anything has changed. Even very minor things can affect children

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Redebs · 18/06/2023 19:00

It's normal for 7
They do turn into little tyrants for a while.
It's about their growing independence and still needing lots of love and care at the same time as trying to be grown-up.

It's tough when you're on your own, because they will try and boss you around and it can get argumentative.

Bear in mind that you are the adult, it's a stage they go through, it shows they are developing mentally and they still love and need you as much as ever.

It's a bit like the terrible twos. It will pass and it doesn't mean they are doing it on person or will turn out to be trouble.

Patience and positive thoughts, Alyssa.. keep smiling!

Redebs · 18/06/2023 19:01

Doesn't mean they are doing it on purpose

Alyssa80 · 18/06/2023 19:18

Thank you for your answers. We’ve moved to a knew city a month ago. So that’s a major change. But she always wanted us to be geographically closer to our family so she could be around her grandma and cousins more often. Plus she wasn’t very happy in her old school and seems to be way happier in the new on. So I really wasn’t expecting this

OP posts:
Randobelia · 18/06/2023 19:27

Have you read the how to talk so kids will listen book? It's really good. Maybe she's acting up with the new house and new school and needs more sleep/good food/lots of exercise, maybe that would help? Or maybe you do that anyway. It sounds hard OP.

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