Screaming kids and no parenting

[GeorginaBell]

Why do so many kids these days scream when playing (I don’t mean the odd excited scream I mean persistent like they’re wing attacked but not) and absolutely no parent can be bothered to even say sweetheart play but don’t scream like that? Where is the care or decency and respect for neighbours anymore? We have a park litt30 seconds away and not one parent near us can be bothered to take them yet plenty of others passing do. Then when we politely ask them to just not scream the parents get rough and act as if we are in the wrong?! Fair enough if it’s in their own house but outside ours for 5 hours straight shouting and screaming. Is this how trashy people ha bc e now become?!

It’s so bloody annoying! They scream because they are allowed too . It’s a learnt behaviour . They love the sound of their own voices . It does need some type of discipline but parents like them to feel free to express themselves!! Shitty parenting , with no respect what’s around them .

My garden is large and is an attraction to friends of my children and my nephew on an almost daily basis. My nephew cannot shut up, he bellows and screams, I’m constantly out telling them to be quieter. Drives me mad, least some of my neighbours are very elderly and mercifully quite deaf but the rest must be so fed up.

Some children just seem to love the feeling of creating noise. I’ve read that some kids seek out the sensory experience of it.

So I wouldn’t totally blame the parents, my nephew has been told to be quieter by all the family since he was small, but he seemingly can’t stop.

I would love tips on getting my DS not to shout in restaurants (genuine request) He is 3 and talks VERY LOUDLY, is constantly and I mean 60-70 times a meal asked to be quieter, not to shout etc. And we've left many times to show him it's not acceptable but nothing works. I'm going to ask GP for an ear check soon because he also lisps.

I totally agree with the OP, I've worked with children for years and the screeching that accompanies play is new. It's sustained, unmodified constant screeching, not the odd happy shriek. It makes me think that often the ones doing it don't know how to regulate themselves or comminicate their needs in the game or maybe at home. There's been a big difference in last 5 or so years. Parents don't seem to realise that when school staff use terms like 'inside voice' etc its in context of 'that noise is NOT acceptable, stop immediately'. The whining is the same, children will do this only if it usually results in a desired response, whine = time doing desired activity eg iPad or device, whine = being 'rewarded' with a snack, whine = parent lifts child, if you can establish the motive you can modify the whines, screeching etc. Lockdown also meant young kids had all that pent up energy and missed opportunity to play too.

I get that completely but if the only effort is asking them to be quiet and it’s not working it’s not enough. More and different effort and techniques should be searched tried. It’s not ok for others who have nowhere to escape it to have to deal with it it’s just not. Often parents will never ever see the distress it causes. All it does is show how little they care to parent at all.

Ah no playing and laughing is cute this what we have is persistent AAAAAHHHHHHHH constantly and screaming for long lengths and nothing said. It’s daily 4-8, weekends all day and if it stops it’s only while they’re in eating for 20 minutes then starts again. It’s really distressing there’s no real dire need for it.

Really?

Unfortunately yes. We’ve had visitors and they can’t believe it. The lady who came for an hour one night couldn’t believe it. She said there’s not even 2 minutes before it starts again. During that hour of screaming not one adult could be bothered to say shhh darling play but don’t scream like that just nothing at all. Not the kids fault at all. They’re being taught nothing.

Are you talking about your neighbour's children specifically? Or children that visit the park by you? Sorry it's not clear.

I don't think it's a new thing- children have been doing this for years. I first noticed it in 2001. It's one reason I wouldn't live near a school - playtime is full of screaming and more screaming.

My own DC weren't quiet but they weren't screamers, so I don't really understand it. But it seems one child screams and the others join in. I'm guessing if there is no initial screamer than other children don't also start screaming. Their own parents probably don't notice it.

Ultimately if you don't want to hear children playing loudly, don't live near a play area.

There's a play area in the gym I go to, I sit in the play area bit and supervise my child but alot of parents dump their kid then go and sit in the adult area and when they are chasing each other yes, they literally scream, as in blood curdling would think they are being attacked scream, not a giggle or a shriek, but an actual scream. Not for extended lengths of time but more like short sharp bursts and lots of them. If my child was doing that I would be having a word. Loud play is acceptable, not SCREAMING. And it pisses me off because I may be one of the only adults in there so I don't want people thinking they are my kids. Their own parents are sat gossiping over a glass of wine and don't even come over to stop the kids screaming.
I generally end up telling them myself and to be fair, most kids do respond well to a reasonable request re behaviour when you give them a justification. I seem to go into teacher mode, I'm not afraid to politely reprimand someone else's child and I've never had any pushback for it from either child or parent.
As for living near a park, unfortunately not alot you can do about that. Par for the course.

We don’t live near a play area. They were screaming outside our house not their grandparents who live next door. I was saying that to play on their bikes they should have been taken to the park which is only 30 seconds walk up the road but they’re too lazy to take them there. They deserve a big safe area to ride their bike and scream out if over excited. This however is persistent and not outside their home but ours.

Same here, we have 2 shriekers next door and its a new build estate so smallish gardens and no trees to absorb the sound. When we moved in they were young primary ages I thought ah well they're young they'll grow out of it. 5 years later, one in high-school, they still do it Their parents are inconsiderate twats as well though so what can you expect? We end up indoors with the doors shut and music on a lot in the summer to drown them out.

Conversely, the house the other side has 2 young kids and whilst they do get a bit loud sometimes it's mostly nice to hear them playing, and you can hear the parents telling them when the volume gets a bit much. There's a world of difference!

@GeorginaBell Oh, I miss understood- I thought you could hear them all the way from the park!

Invite them in- that'll scare them off

😂🤣😂

This might be outing but.......early last summer the kids next door but one were playing in their garden and screeching and shrieking for about 2 hours solid. My nerves could stand no more, so I hollered could they please give over with the screeching. Since then, whilst they don't play silently, at least there's none of the blood curdling screeching.
Could never stand my own kids screeching, so they weren't allowed to, and am pleased to report that they too don't allow their offspring to make too much racket either.

Every evening in our street (dead end) the kids are playing. Fine it's nice for them to be outdoors but this goes on until 9pm and they are literally right next to each other but constantly shouting and screaming. I can hear exactly what their saying with the windows shut.

No parents ever say anything. We have a 3 year old who is in bed at that time. It drives me up the wall that they can't just speak to each other at a reasonably normal noise level they are aged around 8/9 so should have some sense on that.

We had screamers in our old neighbourhood. Very naice genteel sort of place, lots of families of all ages. There was one family with 2 little girls who just SCREAMED AND SCREAMED any time they were in the garden.
One fine summer evening, all the neighbours were out enjoying their barbecues, G&Ts etc and the screaming was as usual unfuckingbearable. One of the other neighbours, an older man, had obviously had enough and yelled 'SHUUTT UUPPP!!'

Silence reigned.

When my son and his best friend get together they're like this but when it's just my kids he doesn't. Obvs I tell him not to do it but im also not gagging him and I like seeing them so excited to see each other. This isn't every day tho so get that's different

Done this nicely and the parent now tells them to continue. I think they’re just a disrespectful bunch of rough skanks that wanted to move to a nice area but behave the same way. They are who they are and we’re moving now and I will thoroughly enjoy getting a very noisy big family here.

Ditto here then there are far too many parents who just couldn’t care less anymore but it’s so vital that they absolutely must have as many as they can! Kids deserve to know how to behave and be respectful. We are also on a street where cars speed and these parents know that - not one is out looking after them. They don’t care and it’s obvious.

No and with it not being daily it’s less for others to handle. In a house no issue as others aren’t subjected to it but they do need to be told and taught it’s not about absolute silence at all but screaming level is totally unnecessary and incredibly stressful especially when it can be heard through closed windows. Everyone deserves peace in their home we always went off in the car but we’re tired of it now and shouldn’t have to.

Good and their useless parents can hear it too. We have a few elderly people near us and these kids ball are constantly banging hard against their gates they told us it distresses them but with parents like this they’re scared of confrontation. You wouldn’t think there was a massive park 3 minutes walk. No respect whatsoever and I’m not blaming the kids they deserve way better parenting than the diluted crap they get these days.

This thread has me thinking, from what's been said about parents not teaching kids the difference. Next door are a married couple, all their kids are over 18 and don’t live with them. But when they do come round the shrieking, screeching and really weird loud vocal noises they make when they're all together reverberates through my (terraced) house. I cant imagine what would cause 2 parents and 3 grown up kids to make the kind of noises they make. Is this the other side of it? Bloody feels (sounds) like it. It's really hard to use the loo when they're round, they seem to congregate in their bathroom on the other side of the wall and have loud conversations. Shutting the bathroom window does nothing when you're hearing both sides of conversation coming through the wall. Instant loo stage fright.

You’re hearing how they were brought up. It is learnt behaviour that’s never persistently been managed and they pass it on. Many adults are similar needing to talk incredibly loud when only talking to the person next to them. Love their own voice or were ignored by parents till they got to screaming level and now have to be the loudest in the room.

I have literally never heard constant screaming.screaming is a pretty uncomfortable thing to do and cannot be sustained for long periods.i suggest what you are talking about is NOT screaming