Taking your baby out alone

[Emfrancesca]

Hi all, my baby is turning 8 weeks old this week and I'm still finding myself feeling nervous to take her out alone as I'm always on edge about her crying in public and not being able to soothe her. I know I shouldn't be worried about this but stupidly I am!
Did you find that taking your little one out and about on your own became easier as they got older?
I take her out for walks around the area I live but I am still yet to take her out into town by myself. She's very hit and miss with her dummy (when she does take it she loves it and it sends her off to sleep) and a lot of the time the only way to soothe her is to either feed her or pick her up and hold her which would be difficult on my own while trying to push a pram at the same time. I'm hoping she's just at that unsettled irritable age and over the coming weeks she will be less likely to get upset for no reason!

Yes, it definitely does get easier as they get older. Part of it is practice though, so keep going out! Even if it's just to walk around the block - fresh air is good for you and baby!

Also most people in towns have kids, so THEY KNOW. No one is judging. They have all been there.

Definitely gets easier but also you get more confident. Babies cry! So long as you’re not somewhere like a cinema where silence is expected nobody is going to judge you for having a crying baby. If you need to stop and sit on a bench or in a cafe to give her a cuddle and a feed then that’s fine. Just take it at your own pace

It got harder for me because he was a very quiet sleepy newborn but then hated his pram from around 12 weeks until he was old enough to sit upright and look around. I think it's very child-dependent.

I agree with a previous poster though, you'll get more confident and not worry as much if she's crying. I went to a lot of baby groups where there was always someone's baby crying at any given moment and that really normalised it for me too....I realised that I didn't notice other people's babies cries half as much as I noticed my own.

I would definitely recommend a sling rather than a pram, it is soooo much easier especially for those who don't like being put down!

Agree with others, you get more confident, the more you do it.
Just try and go out and about every day and build up your confidence.
It doesn't matter if they cry. Any 'looks' you get are looks of sympathy, or "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt'. If you need to be somewhere, a bit of crying in the pram won't hurt them, and if you don't, then just find somewhere to sit and have a cuddle.

Agree that it gets easier! For me, definitely felt more confident from about 12 weeks where the feeding felt less relentless and urgent and just easier plus they are getting more interactive so you can distract them a bit with a song or funny face if they cry until you get to a convenient place to stop! But also I often take the sling out in the basket of the buggy just in case DS starts crying and wants to be held so that I can pop him in the sling and still push the buggy home.

Babies cry.
Most people don't actually notice. It blends into all the other sounds and noise of life.
Go out with baby and have a nice time.

Remember that crying is a baby’s only way of communicating, so it doesn’t always mean that something is wrong. Also, 99% of people understand and sympathise.

Have you tried a sling or carrier? We used an Ergobaby carrier and my DCs were always happy going out in that.
I used to go a lot to baby cinema screenings where there were loads of babies and no one minded if they cried. The more you go out and about, the easier you'll find it. It's also good for you to do things you enjoy - don't worry about trying to entertain the baby at this stage as the entire world is mind blowing to them.

Thanks all

We have a baby carrier but now it's getting hotter I worry about her overheating in it being so close to my body heat as well.
I think I just need to bite the bullet and go for it, even if it's just for a walk around the town for half an hour just to get a feel for it.
Unfortunately her crying still stresses me out when we're in public even if it's just a small whinge so I feel like once her crying calms down and she's more interested in the world I will feel more confident!

Definitely agree that it gets easier and you get more confident. Even better when they're old enough to bribe with snacks 😂

You might find it easier to get used to being out and about if you go to some baby groups. Everyone there will be in the same boat and yes, babies will cry. I did toddlers, swimming, baby singing etc at this age.

I'm starting a baby sensory class next Thursday so hopefully that will help!

I think it's gets easier because they do more than just cry, feed and sleep as they get older. As PP said you can interact with them and often distract them when they're crying when they're older. But I would be wary of waiting for the crying to 'calm down' - in many ways a small baby crying when youre out is actually much easier to deal with than a heavy 2 year old screaming hysterically and refusing to leave somewhere so you have to manhandle them and strap then into a buggy as they scream and thrash about, for example...!

I was mega anxious in the early months, and definitely found being out and about stressful because I was always waiting for it all to kick off. The sling was ace because I could chat to him and reassure him (myself really) and it just helped having him really close. I had autumn babies though so never had to deal with a tiny one in a sling in the heat, I'm not sure how that works...

Don't worry about it just take baba out. The only people I've ever heard complain about it are awful baby boomer women 'we disciplined our children not to cry' 'parents these days have no idea' etc etc. No one else cares.

There might be a local sling library or group in your area, there are lots around and offer great advice. Also there is good advice online about dressing for the heat with slings. I had a June and August baby and just used to pop them in the sling (and still do with the baby) in like a vest or romper type thing depending on temperature and wind and just make sure there's sun cream and a hat. It often depends on the type of sling/carrier you have as to layers etc so a sling library would be a good shout. I've been to different ones in two areas I've lived in and both time the people there were fab.

I remember the first time I took DS out in the car to a shopping centre and couldn't remember how to fold the buggy down. I had to call DH to talk me through it. I also signed up for a baby massage class and asked the teacher if it would be ok if my baby maybe cried 😂

Confidence comes with time.

I'm not sure I ever gave two hoots what anyone what thought personally, but I think most people do feel more confident in time.

A sling can be used in any temperature as long as it's appropriate (some are for warmer weather) and baby is dressed appropriately. I've baby (and toddler, and preschooler) worn in 30+ heat many times, often using a mesh wrap with the child mostly naked, and caring a sub n umbrella!

Dealing with a small child in public though I think gets harder as they get older. Carrying a 2yo whilst pushing a pram is a lot harder. Whilst I didn't care less about other people when my newborn screamed in public, I still cringe thinking about carrying a kicking, screaming toddler that's as stiff as an iron board. Or one that is screeching for chocolate whilst lying down screaming in a shop, for example.

I'd recommend trying to adopt a 'just let it all easy over me' attitude, if you can. Honestly, no one cares that your baby is caring. No one is judging you for it, and those that notice will have forgotten a moment later. If baby is other to crying be mindful of others where possibly - no normal cinema, theatre, no quiet zone on trains, but otherwise crack on with life.

I didn't have a pram at that point, so I always carried my little babies and they would suck on me as I walked around. They never seemed to cry as long as they had access to a breast, and no one can tell they are feeding when they are in a carrier on your front- solves a lot of problems, in my opinion.

You always think your baby is crying so loudly, but it's a lot quieter to everyone else! Chances are, unless you're in the middle of a library or a wedding ceremony, people really don't notice a baby crying that much.

I found it gets easier about 6-9 months when they’re alert, content but not yet mobile. Plus long predictable naps and happy to suck on a piece of bread for 20 minutes. Bliss. But an 8 week old is sooo easy compared to a toddler, sorry! However, by the point you will hopefully care less about what people may or may not be thinking as you’re trying to fold a screaming plank into the buggy.

Yes it gets easier.

But also it helps to slow down and go at your baby’s pace at this stage. She us crying and needs to held? Fine. Just stop, sit in a bench, hold her until she is calming down. No pressure to rush around and you don’t have to do things at the same speed than pre pregnancy.

If you want to try going into town, it might help to think of places you can go to sit and feed/cuddle the baby. Are there parks nearby with benches? Any shops with seats (shoe departments generally will, although it's not the most discreet!)? A café? The John Lewis nearest us has a parent room (a little room with a comfy chair for feeding in). Possibly also the kids section of the library (it may already be noisy with toddlers!).

You are already getting out with the baby, your confidence will grow as you do more of it. You can always build up more time outside where baby screams will disturb fewer people!

Sweetheart, absolutely nobody will be judging you for having an 8 week old baby that takes a while to settle, I promise you. You need to get out otherwise you'll feel so cut off and isolated from the world. Are there any baby groups near you? It helps to talk to other new Mums....