How do you repair after a rough day?

[Bookishnerd]

Just after a bit of general advice really.

My DS is 3, and we have a lovely time together. His behaviour is broadly normal for a toddler of his age, and most days, we manage it fine. Occasional grumpiness and shouting from me and DH but broadly we do well to empathise, lay down clear boundaries and try to respect each other.

BUT then there are days like today, when nothing goes right. When DH and I are sniping at each other, when DS isn’t listening and acting up, and hitting and hurting us, and when we are knackered and our wells of empathy are dry.

I’ve been a grumpy, shouty mum today. It must be so confusing and scary for my DS. I’ve said sorry and we’ve just had a lovely relaxed and connected bedtime, but any other tips for repairing after a hard day are really welcome

I once read online that “Can I play with you?” is one of the best things you can say to your pre-schooler child so I tend to say that if we’ve had a tough day and spend a bit of undistracted time playing whatever game my little one wants to play x

Adults get overwhelmed too. Look at what the triggers were today, fid you and DH put too many expectations on each other? Did you have too much in the diary?

I found water always reset DD (and myself) whether that was a couple of inches in the bath for her to splash in or a 5 min shower for me.

Reduce your own sensory input, sun glasses, reduce background noise or listen to something you enjoy.

When DS isn't behaving the way you want it's communication, stop what you are doing and give him 10 mins of uninterrupted quality time. 10 mins is barely anything to an adult but makes a world of difference to a child.

Look at the triggers for your DSs behaviour too, you don't have to have ASD to get sensory overload, reduce noise around him / sing him a familiar calming song to help him regulate, darken the room / take him into the shade etc. Do what you can to fix the temperature around him to make it more comfortable.
If you are somewhere new and exciting like a zoo or theme park take him somewhere calmer or more familiar for a snack... I used to do this with DD, it's inconvenient for the adult but it was never a punishment and I kept her favourite snacks in the car to make it more tempting and that walk to the car often calmed her down.

Thanks all. i especially like the ‘can I play with you‘ @NewMum0305, easy and simple!

Thanks too @Singleandproud - I suppose the issue is that we couldn’t find that well within us yesterday.

today has been a better day. Though interesting that when when it’s just me and DS, it’s easier. Sometimes having DH around just makes things worse somehow? Obviously will not communicate it in those terms to him, but I do wonder if we’re not as consistent as we could be