Tantrums galore!!

[Heathersxx]

Mum of a 16mo near 17mo please tell me any tips or guidance ?

This is such a tough stage for him I can tell he can’t fully communicate (he says odd words, sometimes says all gone or a car etc) so is clearly frustrated

He’s also cutting teeth I’m sure which has made night sleep awful so he’s always more touchy the next day aka tantrum at the drop of a hat

Im very early pregnant with no.2 I’m exhausted (partner does help but I can still hear DS wake and I’m awake etc) - any tips on how to help my son? It does ease off doesn’t it? Haha!

I am persisting with trying to help his language and I ask a looooot of questions because when I seen to get what he wants spot on I can see him smile :)

What are tantrums about? In general , I go for the ‘make life fun’ approach.

E.g doesn’t want to get in car = be really excited for where we are going, tell him you want him to look out the window and find some busses.

doesn’t want to leave the park - let’s bounce all the way to the car/let’s see how fast I can run while I push you in the buggy.

Then sometimes, when it’s something non-negotiable. Hold the boundary and comfort e.g ‘I know it’s really fun to push the lamp over, but it will break if it falls on the floor so I won’t let you do it. Would you like to cuddle or to read a book together?’

Mine is 20months old now and language has really started to progress which makes it easier.

@Pastaf0rbreakfast So it’s a mixture but our main one is when I use the word ‘no’ and I do let him explore but stuff like when he tries to pull the dogs tail I do say no as he can’t do that ! And then he hates it

but this is a really good idea thank you :) I stay calm or sometimes turn my back (sounds bad but after a few. Seconds he’ll stop haha)

and really? I’m assuming it’s because he can’t say what’s up!

‘No’ is such a tricky word for them to hear isn’t it! I try to avoid it as much as possible but obviously it comes naturally so I do still use it a lot.

In the dog scenario I would say ‘oh we don’t pull the dogs tail - that hurts! Let’s play with your cars instead.’ If that didn’t work I would say ‘I can see how hard it is for you to stop pulling the dogs tail, let’s move to another room to keep the dog safe’…something along those lines, but obviously parenting is hard and we all lose it sometimes!

We have the same issue with shower - DS loves it and I tell him not to touch the dials, but if he does, the shower is immediately over as it’s not safe. Again, I just sit with him while he is upset and offer cuddles when ready.

They aren’t naughty, just naturally curious.

Words-wise, I think DS had around 20 words at 16/17 months and now probably 250+ so it’s a big change in a short time, obviously they are all different but lots of songs/reading/talking about what you are doing really helps.

My tip is try not to say no to anything. Which sounds like permissive parenting but hear me out.. that doesn't mean they get everything, it's just the specific word no just sets you up against each other.
When you say no they hear rejection, especially from your tone. But if you start with yes it's more like you're on their side trying to find a solution together.
Instead you can try "oh yes you do want that don't you" or "yes I want that too" or "yes of course, you can have it later/after dinner/next week/on your birthday/when you're an adult"and then follow up with "is that ok?" Which basically puts you in listening mode, which also makes them feel better.
Somehow by starting with yes you can make it more constructive.
Good luck though, it's hard!