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Original poster

Toddler wakes up in a bad mood every day

27 replies

DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:29

I have a 2.5 year old son who wakes up every morning in a bad mood about something.

He goes to bed at 7ish and is usually asleep between 7-8. He wakes up most mornings around 6am so is getting a good sleep.

When he gets up the moaning starts. If take his sleeping bag off him it's meltdown central because he wanted to, If he wants his breakfast it's meltdown central because he's not getting it where he wants it or I'm not going quick enough or I f I won't carry him downstairs it's meltdown central.

Even if I do let him do these things i.e take his sleeping bag off it's meltdown central because he can't manage the zip or if I carry him it's not the way he wants to be carried.

This morning he wanted to play with his bath toys so I got him some water in a basin and put it in the living-room but then he stood wailing about it. Turns out he wanted the baths toys brought over. Rather than just say (he has good language) he would rather just stand there and cry or throw himself down)

It's so wearing to listen to. It's like he's genuinely never happy.
It's now creeping into other times of the day too.

Is this just normal toddler behaviour?

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Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:34

Should add, he's now lying on the floor crying because the towel under the basin is not flat.

Some of these things scream autism to me?

OP posts:
Gardenclems · 27/05/2023 07:36

Is he hangry? My dd is a nightmare if she hasn’t had a good dinner the night before so wakes up starving

Ellemeg82 · 27/05/2023 07:37

Sounds pretty normal. Like the PP said might be hangry (hungry) or he might still be tired. My son is also super grumpy in the morning if he's still tired. So we just try and have quiet slow paced mornings (where possible).
Is he still napping in the day?

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Singleandproud · 27/05/2023 07:39

A meltdown is a very specific type of behaviour often caused by being sensory overloaded.

Your toddler just sounds like he is having tantrums because even with good language skills he cannot communicate his needs appropriately yet. Which is completely normal behaviour.

Hazelnuttella · 27/05/2023 07:40

My DS is also very grumpy in the morning (25 months) but he’s always been like that so it’s not a surprise.
I can sympathise really I’m not a morning person either. We usually get on okay together, it’s my DH that angers DS most in the morning by being too happy and smiling at him 😂 how very dare he.

Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:40

@Gardenclems he is such a picky eater he barely eats anything throughout the day.

We always offer him breakfast, lunch and dinner but he will never finish (sometimes won't even start) a meal.

He lives on fruit, milk and snacks !! I've tried cutting the snacks but he still doesn't eat much.

Also healthy snacks btw not sweets and chocolate. He gets crackers, cheese, whole grain puffs etc.

OP posts:
Tinybrother · 27/05/2023 07:41

One thing I have found helpful is to have something upstairs they can have to eat when they wake up rather than waiting to go downstairs for breakfast. A bit of dry cereal or some crackers

Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:41

@Ellemeg82

His naps are so inconsistent at the moment. Sometimes he will nap but then he takes forever to go so sleep at night.

Other days he's having no naps.

It's a fine balanced

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Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:41

@Singleandproud thanks!

Hopefully will pass. It's exhausting

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Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:42

@Hazelnuttella 🫣🫣 oh I've learned I have to be a morning person even though I don't want to !!
6am starts would not be my choice 😅😂.

When we are out and about he's a little ray of sunshine. People always say how laid back and good natured he is. But in the house we get the moaning.

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Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:44

@Tinybrother yeah the issue this morning was he wanted a cup of milk in our bed but my husband was still sleeping and isn't very well so I told my son we had to go downstairs for it and he wasn't happy.

Then he started screaming and crying and woke my husband up anyway!

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Bubbles254 · 27/05/2023 07:45

I have a very fussy eater who is prone to a lot of tantrums. Bizarrely the thing I found that helped with both was the introduction of a probiotic. My son had had quite a few antibiotics in the past and I think it had affected his gut bacteria. Since starting the probiotic he seems to eat a wider range of food (previously he would only want to eat cereals, bread and other beige food) and is much happier.

FernGully43 · 27/05/2023 07:47

Sounds like hunger to me too. My toddler would wake up ridiculously grumpy every morning also sometimes with loud tantrummy whining and it took us a while to realise he was hungry. So I'd always immediately chop up fruit, put it on a plate and leave it there with some oat milk. Mainly bananas. It really made a big difference. Now he's nearly 3 and just verbalises it in the mornings "I'm hungry mummy!" 😅

Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:47

@Bubbles254 oh really? Might give that a try. Something like yakult ? Or a tablet?

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Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:49

@FernGully43 maybe I'll start greeting him with a snack first thing and see how it goes.

My husband jokes he's like a man with his coffee- as soon as he wakes up he's like mummy need my milky!! As if I can't start my day without my milk fix.

OP posts:
Trumpton · 27/05/2023 07:51

I used to leave a sippy cup and a plain biscuit next to DS bed so he had a snack straight away. He was a grumpy little beast when he woke up.

Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:52

@Trumpton he's still in a cot just now so I couldn't leave it in reach. But I might start just taking one up with me in the morning.

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misspositivepants · 27/05/2023 07:52

My almost 4 year old went through this stage, we still have some mornings like it. He cannot be rushed of a morning it sets the tone for the day. But we are slowly out of it now, it does pass (eventually). I think like adults some toddlers are not morning people, my 5 year old never went through it and it bright and chatty in the morning and always has been.

PurplePansy05 · 27/05/2023 07:58

It could be he's dropping the nap, my DS (nearly 2) was a nightmare going down from 2 to 1 and I anticipate the same with the transition to no naps.

It sounds normal to me, my DS often has odd little things he randomly tantrums over. A lot of language frustration there and at 2.5 it is likely still that. If he's anything like my son, perhaps he's not a morning person either? My little boy wakes up, chats to himself for ages first, then he wants cuddles for ages and it really takes time for him to become ready for the day. It's lovely now but I'm dreading school days if this continues! 😂🙈 He'd certainly tantrum if I try doing things too quickly with him after he wakes up.

This, or he's thirsty/hungry. Try having something ready for when he's up or come in with some water in the morning and offer it to him?

Tarantallegra · 27/05/2023 08:14

My son is a similar age and we're going through it too, it's all very emotional and I'm not sure he knows what he wants half the time. The only thing I've found that helps is routine and consistency so he knows what to expect. It does mean saying no a lot and more tantrums to begin with but I'm starting to come out the other side.

For my son if I fell into the trap of giving him what he wants to calm him he would just try to push the boundary further so now I say we can do that after we do x & y so if he asked to play with bath toys first thing my response would be "breakfast and coffee first then play" and stick to it every morning. He's getting to the point where if he asks for something in the morning he says to himself "breakfast first" and doesn't get wound up about it. If he asks for something and the answer is yes I'm trying to tell him why it's yes to help with confusion i.e "yes we can play with bath toys because we've done breakfast and coffee"

It's awful at first but routine and consistency really have changed my life for the better. All sounds normal to me though!

My favourite weekend treat for a rest at the moment is eggy bread, son is convinced it's a pancake and he'll sit happily and eat the lot while I drink my coffee (major win as he's enjoying throwing toy cars in people's drinks this month).

popsickle555 · 27/05/2023 08:21

This may have nothing to do with your son’s moods but I’m sharing just in case it’s helpful. my DD (now 8) used to be very grumpy and emotional. She would cry all the time and have tantrums etc, this continued after the toddler days. my elder daughter has had some tummy issues (no mood issues) and we had her coeliac tested which was negative but my younger daughter (who they tested too) came back as sensitive to gluten. We cut it out and she is like a changed person. No mood issues, much more emotionally regulated and finally very happy! This happened at age 4. It’s hard work sometimes because we have to buy other types of bread etc but it’s been a game changer. I never knew but when I read up on it there are reported links between gluten and mood issues so have a Google. As I say she’s not coeliac so I’m not over cautious but if she accidentally has some gluten at a party for example we can tell a few days later as she will be more lethargic, lying on the floor crying and snapping at us. Not sure if we will try to
reintroduce it at some point, we may but for now her life is much better without it. You can always consult a dietician etc about this. We had a bit of support from our GP. Thankfully there are two other children in her class who don’t eat gluten so she’s not alone.

Trumpton · 27/05/2023 08:23

DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 07:52

@Trumpton he's still in a cot just now so I couldn't leave it in reach. But I might start just taking one up with me in the morning.

Sorry I should have said I left the cup and biscuit on a stool next to his cot and he could just reach out to grab it. Make sure the cup fits through the bars tho!

Original poster
DahliaRose · 27/05/2023 08:25

@Trumpton or that would be another tantrum 😆😆🤣🤣

OP posts:
ninaballerina12 · 11/01/2025 08:46

@DahliaRose sorry this is an old thread but I am just reading through and every post about your DS could be written about mine - even the sleeping bag / zip issue. Please can I ask how things are now and how this panned out with age?

I feel at my wits end. My DS wasn’t an easy baby either so I feel like things have been consistently hard now for almost 2.5 years. I have noticed that he is highly sensitive to subtle changes in his environment - sometimes I feel he would start crying at the wind changing direction. Like you have said, he’s much better out and about!

We are due another baby next month so really hoping this starts to get better. Thank you!

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