2 year old naps at daycare but not at home

[hellofromsutton]

Hello! My 2 and a half year old is impossible to get to sleep at nap time, we’ve tried everything from consistent routine (story, dark room etc) to long walks in the buggy, to sticking her in front of the tv and hoping she will nod off. Nothing works. It’s like she’s afraid of going to sleep, she screams and cries when she realises that we are trying to get her to sleep. She goes to day care 3 days a week and naps for about 2 hours there!!

has anyone else had their 2 year old refuse naps at home but nap fine at daycare? How have you handled it?

Sounds quite normal at 2.5. Toddlers have a herd mentality and love social cues, so it’s unsurprising she’ll nap at nursery when the staff put out the mats and turn down the lights and all of her friends lie down. I doubt she’s afraid at home, I suspect she’s probably just angry at being forced to do something she doesn’t want to do! Napping 3 x per week may well be all she needs at 2.5 as well - DS had entirely dropped the nap by this point. If her night sleep is okay I’d just roll with her not napping at home and stop trying to force it.

No solution but my DD was the same. Baffling

@VivaVivaa thank you that’s really helpful advice, I probably just have to stop forcing her and be ok with the fact that she will have days without naps

I wish I'd just given up when naps became a battle! I finally stopped trying to make them happen at 3 and it made bedtime so much easier. So I wouldn't bother. Maybe just have some quiet time instead.

DD dropped naps at home around 2, but is 3 in a couple of months and still has a nap on the 2 days a week she’s at the childminders. (Although I’ve had to ask cm to cap it at 45 minutes otherwise it makes bedtime impossible).

When she did nap at home it was always on me or in a moving car, would never just lie down in a cot/ pushchair and go to sleep - but she did it at the childminders with zero fuss pretty much from day one. I remember thinking either the childminder was magic or she was lying but seems not!

I think it’s social cues like a pp said, plus the days she’s at the childminders are slightly more hectic in the morning - dressed and out of the house for 7.15, and I think just not being at home/ with you is tiring for them on some level too. When childminder has not let her nap at all she’s ended up falling asleep on the drive home which is even more danger nap territory so I’ve left her to it for now.

Funnily enough in the last few months she’s started to have the odd nap on home days too - not consistent and I couldn’t ‘make’ her do it, but the odd time in the car or after a park trip she’ll come sit on me and nod off for a little while - it’s coincided with a spell of very early wake ups so makes sense she’d need to catch up somewhere.

My 2.5 yr old hasn't napped at home for months but still does at nursery. I think it's a combination of nursery being more stimulating/tiring and just doing what the other kids are doing.

It works fine for us as she doesn't actually seem to need the nap.

My DD (2 next month) only naps a few days a week, if she's been up early or busy ect. I think it's normal at this age!

I feel for you though OP, I'm knackered when she doesnt nap.

I was a c/ minder . Children often dropped naps later here than at home - for many reasons - it is none stop activities - lots of ques either quiet time or others sleeping . It also is often it’s not all or nothing they might need a nap somedays not others

Wow what a great response, thanks for such comforting feedback, I’ve honestly been tearing my hair out! I’m exhausted and I feel like I’ve lost all control of my child’s schedule but maybe that’s ok

Mine is opposite, nice long naps at home on weekends and 50/50 on nursery naps. They are shocked he'll sleep two hours on a Saturday but fight them and wait them out on a Tuesday.

Up until this week Ds did the same, although he occasionally napped on non nursey days if in the car or pram at a sleepy moments. I just followed what he wanted. On the days he did nap his bedtime was getting pretty late (8.30-9). I asked the nursery workers to ask him if he wanted a nap or to continue to play, and he hasn't napped at nursery since (only been 4 days but so far he doesn't seem to want it).

It’s quite normal, lots of kids ease off napping around 2 and half but IME it’s rarely a sudden stop. So perfectly normal to find he’s happy to nap at daycare because it’s a busier more stimulation environment and the rest of the class are napping but at home he’s not as tired and gets FOMO! He’ll probably try to drop it at daycare too soon enough. And if you’re in one of those US states (daycare makes me think you might be American?) where naps have to be legally offered until they’re 5 then you might want to have a pre-emptive chat with them about how they handle it when they try to drop their naps early.