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Parenting

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Baby won’t sleep in crib, startling themselves awake

11 replies

PinkDungarees · 24/05/2023 02:31

Help!
My baby appears to have a very strong Moro / startle reflex and it’s really interfering with his sleep at night. Initially swaddling him helped - he hated it and was constantly trying to wriggle out of the swaddle but he would settle quickly and it would keep him asleep for at least a couple of hours til he got his hands free. However he’s almost 12 weeks old now and starting to roll so for safety we’ve had to transition to a sleeping bag. The problem is now his arms are free, he keeps startling himself awake. We put him in his crib asleep very slowly, holding him close to us, head down last and keep our hands on his arms until eventually lifting them, and this seems to work with stopping him startle when we put him down, so he stays asleep initially but then after 10-20 minutes of sleeping peacefully he’ll suddenly stir in his sleep and it’ll cause him to startle, the arms go up and start flailing about and he wakes himself up. We’ve tried leaving him to see if he’ll settle himself but he never seems able to, he usually ends up being sick from the agitation. I’ve also tried reaching across and holding his arms which sometimes settles him but he’ll then startle again within 10 mins. It’s clearly involuntary and disturbing him when he’d rather be sleeping too! The only way he sleeps without startling is in our arms or co-sleeping in bed beside me (which we often end up doing after hours of trying to get him to properly sleep) but I’d really rather we could get him to sleep in his crib!
Does anyone have any advice on how to keep him asleep without constantly startling? Has anyone had a similar experience - will he eventually lose the Moro reflex? He had a low birthweight and although doing well he’s still only 8 and a half pounds now - will sleep get better when he’s a bit heavier? Any advice appreciated - TIA! x

OP posts:
GlobetrottingPercy · 24/05/2023 02:42

DS1 had this and so, after weeks and weeks of broken sleep, we took advice from an NCT mum and found this to be a game changer.

https://lovetodream.co.uk/products/swaddle-up-transition-bag-original-grey.html

it keeps the arms in an upright position so that he can’t startle himself awake and the sleeves come off for when he is able to fully roll.

He did eventually lose the reflex but I couldn’t tell you when it was exactly as he was in this bag until he could roll. Fingers crossed you find something that works!

Endofdaysarehere · 24/05/2023 02:59

I swaddled the top half of mine in a very big muslin until they were too strong for it.
I still love a fajita.

trrk · 24/05/2023 07:41

No useful suggestions I’m afraid but he should grow out of it soon. Unfortunately the Love to Dream transition swaddles or any other type of swaddle also shouldn’t be used if baby is rolling. Mine was also late to lose the Moro reflex but it did go eventually. Luckily she was also late to roll so we could use Love to Dream a bit longer.

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Geneticsbunny · 24/05/2023 08:59

If he is doing it a lot, as in several times in a row, then it could be epilepsy. Take videos of it and head to a and e and mention west syndrome and tuberous sclerosis.

cuppateapleasemate · 18/07/2023 05:03

@PinkDungarees any success to report here?! In the same situation...hope your situation is much better now x

BMrs · 18/07/2023 06:05

The sleeping bags with arms in so their hands are covered worked great for us at this stage!

PinkDungarees · 18/07/2023 09:23

Unfortunately we’re still in the same situation! He’s over 4 months now and we’re noticing the Moro reflex is getting slightly better but he still won’t sleep for more than an hour at a time without stirring and then startling. It’s such a shame to watch him stir, startle, settle himself by chewing his hand, he falls asleep and then watching as his hand starts falling from his mouth and boom, startle again and he’s awake. So although we keep trying to put him down I keep just bringing him into the bed with me so I can ensure we both get some sleep.
I researched the epilepsy thing that someone suggested but having watched videos of that it’s definitely different.
The suggestions including swaddle bags unfortunately aren’t safe because he’s starting to roll - he can easily roll onto his side so it’s only a matter of time til he’s on his front.
I figure we might just have to bide our time and wait til his Moro reflex finally wears off…

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 20/07/2023 08:56

Did you look at videos of west syndrome in babies? Honestly starteling themselves awake is not a normal thing for babies to do. I was in denial for ages about my son and only took him to get checked out when it was stopping him from feeding. Please take some videos. If you want me to have a look and see if they are similar to my son's ones then I am happy for you to message me.

PinkDungarees · 20/07/2023 21:11

@Geneticsbunny Yes, believe me, after your message previously I spent a lot of time googling and watching videos of babies with west syndrome. I’m confident that isn’t what we’re dealing with.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 21/07/2023 08:19

Ok. I am really pleased and sorry if what I said caused you distress.

TeddyBeans · 21/07/2023 08:33

Slightly controversial but have you tried sleeping him on his tummy? He won't be able to startle himself if his hands are already against the mattress

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