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Routine for a 4yr and 9wk old

6 replies

wadercl · 23/05/2023 20:12

i have a wonderful 4yr old and now a 9wk old baby. With my first I had the routine down - naps, play, baths and bedtime. But now I’m thrown with my 9wk old. Everyone said ‘oh the 2nd is so much easier, they just fit in’. But the thing is, he doesn’t. I feel awful because he wants to sleep when I have to get my boy to nursery so he inevitably gets woken up getting in and out of the car and gets broken sleep. Then I struggle to get him to sleep in the day. And even sometimes in the pram waking to and from picking my boy up from nursery. He’s usually screaming during dinner and so I never eat a meal without him being on me screaming and pulling my hair (by the way I should add I feed him before our dinner). And then comes bath time. I bath them together and have tried just doing it at the usual time, putting my boy into bed first and when that didn’t work for my baby, I tried bathing them both early and letting my boy play in his room while I try to get the baby down to sleep. Which doesn’t work either! I honestly wonder how people manage??? Is it just us or is this normal? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

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TradedAtlanta · 23/05/2023 21:00

I have a 3 Yr old and a 5 month old. I don't think it's possible to get it right for both all the time. I've used the sling a lot for naps to maximise the chance of baby napping whilst I'm playing with preschooler or getting things done. I've also been lucky that my DH works from home a lot and can sometimes have a sleeping baby in the sling whilst he works. Are you solo parenting or could the other parent help you out with the nap that coincides with nursery drop off so you get a good start to the day? - I find the other naps fall into place a bit better if the first one goes well. Bedtime wise I've gone with a late nap for baby so he can last through older ones bedtime and be put down later. Although I think I'm mostly getting baby naps when he needs it's not helping with night sleep which is truly dreadful and has been since the day he arrived!

ChuckMater · 23/05/2023 21:08

Can you walk to nursery so baby naps in pram? Alternatively does your car seat attach to the pram wheels to avoid having to pick up and wake baby? This is how I used to get through this stage as baby fell into a routine where he napped at Drop off time in the pram or car seat.

If at home or out and about, use a Sling for baby to nap in. That way they feel close and snuggled into you but you can give your eldest attention and play

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 23/05/2023 22:24

Agree with walking to Nursery if you can. We did this and DC2 slept in the pram or sling (most days).

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Firecat84 · 23/05/2023 22:47

It's just really really hard for the first few months! But a 9 week old doesn't really have a routine yet and it will get easier. I could never put the baby down to sleep because I just didn't have time to settle her with a toddler around, so she slept in the buggy or car or we co slept or she just had to deal! Around 7 months (after a bit of sleep training) I could successfully put her to sleep in her room with minimal fuss and life got a lot easier.

shelbabab · 23/05/2023 22:51

Whoever told u that it's easier and they fit in, well that's simply not true in most families!

I found going from 1 to 2 way harder than zero to 1!

If I remember I didn't feel into any sort of routine until baby was around 3/4 months. Even then it was still very loose lol. It's still very early days with your baby.

We kept my 2yr olds routine the same and then tried to slot baby in where we cld over bath/bedtime. It's so difficult and totally different from when u only had 1 child. It's a lot easier with just one to focus on!

wadercl · 25/05/2023 06:23

Thanks so much everyone! We’re about a 40min walk from nursery so I hadn’t seriously considered walking there in the morning (although we do walk to collect him in the afternoon). However after all of the above I got up earlier yesterday and we walked in. Baby slept on the way there but not back - but it was a great start. So trying again today!

Also so good to hear that it is actually hard and not super easy like other people had told me. 1 to 2 is tough!! And it’ll take time to get into any kind of real routine. I guess I’m just keen to nail it down but we’re only 9 weeks in!

thanks again for all of the advice :)

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