What's normal 2-3yo behaviour

[Anon758493]

Name change because its probably putting too the right people

2 weeks ago my child was big at nursery. She's almost 3 and I think the child who did it is around the same age (between 2.5 and newly 3).

The child (M) and my child (F) are friends. I was told my child (F) had a toy that M wanted. F said no. M bit her. I'm told it's totally out of character, he's usually placid and has never bit before. The plan was he will be watched carefully especially when around my child.

It happened on the Tuesday, both in on the Wednesday, F has been off for a week and back in today. So this is technically 2 nursery days later. F said "M didn't bite me today", I said that's good, he must know its naughty. F then said he did push me. M called me a boy and I said, I'm not a boy and he said yes you are and pushed me. She then said M squirted water on me. I asked if they were playing and she said yes, but I didn't want M to squirt me.

Now I rang nursery because mainly I want to make sure this child isn't 'bullying' mine (if they can bully at that age - I mean more, if he's angry does he seek her out to take his anger out on her - do 2-3 year olds do that?)

Nursery say it didn't happen. I've pointed out that they weren't being watched 24/7 which nursery agree, but say they don't think it happened because M and F are friends and M is not an angry child. I'm also concerned that just 2 days later they're not being watched more carefully still.

Is pushing each other normal at this age? Now I think it probably is, and whilst I've never seen my child push another I'm sure she's not perfect (although nursery have never reported to me she's pushed another child). So it's not the pushing I'm bothered about - although I am bothered about how nursery can so quickly say my child is telling tales because they're certain M didn't push F. I'm just concerned that he seeks her when he's angry. So 2-3 year olds do that?

I'm just not sure how I should proceed going forward. How can I be sure she's protected etc. Or am I over reacting. Should I just let this child push and squirt water at my child and write it off as 2 yo being 2 yo

Thanks in advance

Honestly at the moment I would right it off. I work in a nursery and especially children that are friends at this age are always falling in and out, a push, a your not my friend type quote or not wanting to play is pretty much heard most days at some point when children cannot express properly how they are feeling to one another, they are generally over it in 15 minutes. However nursery also should also be keeping an eye if a placid child has out of character has bitten just to see what's going on.

Sorry just realised that last bit makes no sense I forgot to take out a bit I edited - if the child has bitten you would also like to think nursery would be keeping an eye on them to see what triggered it and to make sure it didn't happen again, children do occasionally bite when frustrated etc but I could probably could on one hand the amount of times it's happened in a year.

This sounds totally standard to me. My 2yo can be vicious at times to his older sister - much less so to other children but they argue and shove a lot. Think it's just how they learn how the world works.

Mine also both regularly tell me completely made up stories about their day!

Yeah I understand hitting siblings. My child can hit us sometimes when frustrated or tired etc, but never at nursery (that we've been told!). And never at any playgroups, soft plays or parks which we go to at least 3 days out of the 5 she's not at nursery.

BUT, I'm happy with some pushing etc theyre only 2 or 3 and nursery is a different environment than a few hours at a soft play, but I just wanted to be reassured he isn't targeting her when he gets angry. Which I don't feel I've been given - they've just reiterated what a lovely boy he usually is and how the biting was out of character. You're right in that maybe they need to be concerned as to why he had the sudden change of character.