Co-parenting sleeping arrangements

[Labh]

My daughters dad has lost his flat and is currently living on his dads sofa. There’s 8 members in the household. I found out through my daughter she’s been sleeping on the sofa when she’s been staying with her dad. He never told me he lost his flat til I asked him. He says it’s temporary until his dad moves houses and then he will have a small caravan in the front garden and that’s where my daughter will be sleeping when there, it doesn’t have a toilet in it. Is that okay for my 3 year old to sleep in?

I would say no. I really don't want to judge your situation as I know life is difficult for some people. But if it was me, there would be no overnight stays happening until he gets a proper place for to bring a child up. If she's telling her friends/teachers that she doesn't have a bed to sleep in or a toilet could you imagine the red flags??

Your daughter shouldn't have to go without when she doesn't need to.
Sleeping on a sofa or without toilet facilities just isn't fair. She can still see her dad without having to sleep in those conditions.

I hope you're ok OP. Stay strong.

I'm really hoping she won't be in the Caravan on her own.

Does he live close by? If so I would think it would be sensible for her to stop overnights and see him day time only until a suitable bedding situation is arranged. I would have thought the other family members would also prefer having one less person overnight while they are overcrowded.

If the caravan had a toilet and the dad was there too that would be less of an issue. Realistically though a 3 year old needs a toilet don’t they!!

That’s what I’ve said he can still see his daughter on the weekends but she stays with me overnight. I just don’t think it’s acceptable for a 3 year old to sleep in a caravan with no toilet and have to go in and out the house if she does

That was my first thought too. Would he be in the house during the evenings and she's asleep in a caravan right next to the street? Not safe.

He does live close by. So I said still see your daughter but no overnight stays.
he’s very hard to talk to as he gets nasty and says I’m using her as a weapon etc. but I just think the sleeping arrangement aren’t right for my 3 year old

He would be with her I just don’t think it’s safe near the street in a front garden and if she has to keep going in and out of the house to use toilet.

He does live close by. So I said still see your daughter but no overnight stays. he’s very hard to talk to as he gets nasty and says I’m using her as a weapon etc. but I just think the sleeping arrangement aren’t right for my 3 year old

Is there a Court Order in place?

No there’s not a court order in place

Wouldn't like that tbh

Her dad is so hard to reason with says I’m using our daughter as a weapon and I’m saying this to be horrible. He just goes mad and gets verbally nasty. like I’ve said the access won’t stop just no overnight stays until it’s a proper place to live and no overcrowding. He thinks her in this caravan is fine
a caravan by the street and on someone front garden isn’t safe in my eyes.

Ok so if there's no order in place, how would you feel applying for a Child Arrangements Order yourself?

To be fair though, I'm no expert and you may get better advice in the Legal or Relationship Sections.

I would give Rights of Women a call though as they offer free legal advice, it might take you a while to get through though

It is very unsatisfactory. I would not countenance it.

Her dad is so hard to reason with says I’m using our daughter as a weapon and I’m saying this to be horrible. He just goes mad and gets verbally nasty. like I’ve said the access won’t stop just no overnight stays until it’s a proper place to live and no overcrowding. He thinks her in this caravan is finea caravan by the street and on someone front garden isn’t safe in my eyes.

And do think about getting a Non Molestation Orderr* if he's being nasty.

no - leave the court out of this too

Just stop overnights and let him have her during the day - i would not like this either!

The risk of this is that if he doesn't agree and doesn't bring her back, the Police won't be interested as there is no Court Order to enforce.