Do your kids play in their rooms by themselves?

[Whattodo112222]

DD4 is currently playing with her giant dolls house whilst listening to Barbie Girl on her Alexa...

I'm opposite in my room currently lying down as I'm dying of a cold and conjunctivitis..there is a v small landing between our rooms and she's protected by the stair gate which is closed.

This is OK isn't it?

I feel guilty to not be playing with her but she seems happy playing and singing. She's run in a few times to check on me but quickly dashes off. I have the worst case of conjunctivitis and I'm really struggling with my vision at present.

I'm not neglecting her am I?

My 2 year old plays in their room alone sometimes. Usually while I'm in the back room doing something on the computer or hanging the washing up. I think if she knows where you are and you can hear her if she needs you then it's fine.

At 4 she should be OK.

I don't think it is neglectful, especially as you are unwell. Two of my kids would be out and about playing with friends. But my daughter would quite happily sit in her room playing with her toys all day if I let her. So not all children are the same. If she is not happy she would soon let you know.

That's fine, enjoy it! Mine won't play in his room at all, he collects his toys and brings them through to my room first thing in the morning 😭🤣 I remember playing in my room lots as a child and my parents room was never somewhere we played !!!

Of course it's absolutely fine!

Crazy that you'd think it isn't tbh.

It'd also be fine if you were in full health and sitting downstairs having a cup of tea.

Are you normally a helicopter parent?

Of course it's ok! There's nothing even slightly unusual about a 4yo playing alone, it's absolutely fine. Hope you feel better soon

Not a helicopter parent. I'm a single parent who works full time and don't often get time to play with her. Hence feeling guilty.

You know we don't have to play with our children and entertain them all the time. It's better for kids to play alone most of the time to develop imagination. Your hardly leaving in the house alone to fend for herself

Give yourself a break! Remember it's a marathon, not a sprint, taking the occasional bit of time for yourself isn't going to matter across her entire life. It's not even going to register amongst all the things you do for her.

Remember also that kids need alone time , time to be bored, to problem solve, to play their own way without an adult's input. It's not just ok, it's beneficial.

What @NuffSaidSam said; it's an important skill to be able to be happy alone, figure out stuff for yourself, entertain yourself. You're around and she's happy, look after yourself and hope you feel better soon x

DD4 plays alone, finally, and it’s a breath of fresh air. I particularly enjoy when she says “Don’t come in, stop bothering me” and wish it worked the other way round

She sounds like she’s enjoying herself. Independent imaginative play is a good life skill to encourage anyway. Hope your conjunctivitis clears up soon.

It’s a plus playing on their own - treat it as a successful milestone!

should of put her in a cage

Indeed. The last thing you want is to bring up a human who needs others to stimulate them or entertain them. People who cannot ever be alone with their own self and own thoughts.

Plus even kids need privacy and downtime.

DS4 has recently started playing in his bedroom on his own. Haven't encouraged it but have supported him to do so E.g moving more toys upstairs. It has given me the break I really need some days as a single parent.

Thanks everyone. Feeling more encouraged 😊

Agree with this.

I'm amazed you're worried about your 4yo playing alone.

No my kids wouldn't do this but I wish they would

That's the dream, isn't it?! Yes my four year old plays in his room or downstairs by himself. I prefer to be on the same floor so I can keep an ear out, but otherwise I just let him get on with it.

I definitely do not pay with him all the time, it's hideously boring. I'll do 5-10 mins of whatever imaginative game he's playing, then redirect him to play on his own. Higher tolerance for building things or active games, and will happily read to him for as long as he wants if I have time.

My 20 month old plays alone in his room maybe once or twice a day with his cars or sits and looks through books chatting to himself. He can be in there for up to half an hour at a time and I have a rule not to disturb him. He can't get anywhere dangerous and I'm near with all doors open. I'm hoping if I leave him to it he'll grow up to be good at playing by himself like I was as a kid! 🙏🏻

I aim for my daughter to have independent play, it's really good for them. This includes her playing in her room alone with me in the other room. She's 3.5

Yes our DS will play in his room for a bit on his own.

It is important while they are little that you play with them to show them how to play. To take turns, share, be kind, ensure they take their turn etc but it's equally fine for them to play alone, if they were unhappy you will soon know I'm sure

My 4 yo has started going for 'quiet time' in his room to read books or play recently every few days. I think to escape his very loving/annoying 1 yo sister! I do check on him as it's new to me and I worry about him being lonely (ridiculous I know) but I reason he's (finally) gaining a little independence 😀

My 2 and 4 year olds play in their rooms all the time, sometimes together, sometimes alone.

I get the guilty feeling sometimes when I am doing jobs and not playing with them, then I hear them playing and I think honestly they are having a great time without me. (Especially when they play together, they laugh their heads off)

I think kids need a bit of self direction, I think it helps their imagination. I certainly played on my own a lot when I was little and my mum says I was super imaginative.