What if kids don't want to see other parent ?

[CadburyDream]

I don't know whether I should keep trying to make my kids have a relationship with their father when they dont want to? Quick back story is we split up 6 years ago he has been very inconsistent since then and has more than once not seen them for a year, the longest was 2 years which was the most recent time. He got back in contact October and started seeing them again but tbh he has seen them about 5 times since then. He doesn't make any set plans and will only see them as and when he feels like it (for the day no overnights/his choice) He last saw them 2 weeks ago but has made no plans to see them since (just giving a bit of context) today my son said he has no father and that he hates him and doesn't consider him his father. I never bad mouth him he is to blame for our child feeling this way. the last time he came down to see them he didn't want to see him but I encouraged him to go, but now im doubting myself and whether I should be forcing him (there is no court order he won't stick to regular contact despite not working and living in the same city) he also has their numbers but doesn't contact much it's been over a week since he last messaged them. Would you keep trying?

I don't know how it works where you are, but here you could seek to have the father removed from their lives completely due to the long periods of what is essentially abandonment. I'm a staunch advocate for not having a father is far better than kids having to deal with a bad or absent father.

My advice would be that unless he's willing to consistently see them and when he does he's being the father he should be, then it's time to take action to remove him from their lives.

My ex-wife was like this. I got custody of my kids and even though she had visitation, she rarely saw them and within a couple months didn't have any real communication with them. No calls even on birthdays. If you ask my daughter (now 41) today about her mother, she will say she has no mother.

I fought hard and was the biggest AH in the world to make sure they didn't end up in the custody of their mother. I knew if they did they would turn out like the kid she had after she got remarried, who is no stranger to the legal system. My kids held what I did against me for quite some time until they found out the truth of what went on. My daughter now says she's glad I did what I did because if I didn't, she would probably be working in a strip club. She now has a thriving photography business and is close to retirement from the US Air Force. My son is lead software developer for a niche company that does a lot of development for law enforcement.

How old are the kids Op?

I wouldn't bother, OP. The kids will resent it and he sounds like a waste of space.