Exhausting, overwhelming 3 yo, normal?

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DS will be 3 in a month. He‘s been full on since birth. He didn’t have a sleepy newborn phase, he was alert and wide awake from hours old. Pretty early with gross motor stuff and exceptionally early to communicate. Didn’t sleep through until 2, when he stopped napping.

From the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep he just doesn’t stop, both mentally and physically. He needs exercising like a dog for a couple of hours a day otherwise he is hell on legs. When we are out he can’t just crack on and play. He demands DH or I come and count trees or inspect cars or ‘go on an adventure’. He never, ever stops talking. The whole day is spent with his chatter as a backdrop. He will play with Lego and stuff at home if he’s tired but he wants DH or I there to chat to/listen to his running commentary. He loves numbers and will ask us questions or talk about sums for hours.

It was manageable until recently, when he developed a proper attitude and will now scream and cry when we say we need a break. We’ve tried quiet time when nap time was and he literally can’t handle it - he just can’t stay still or quiet his mind. He’ll just continue flitting round asking a million questions.

Is this normal 3 yo behaviour?? Do kids like this calm down? I worry about him in school so much, he’s so intense and overwhelming I think he’ll struggle to make friends. He mostly behaves in nursery but they have commented how full on and none stop he is. They haven’t mentioned SEN, although it has crossed my mind.

Hi op, my Ds was/is like this. He's 3.5 and will sometimes now play with his figures doing set ups, acting stuff out with them without too much input from us but it's a very new thing! He also gets obsessed with characters and insists we all "be" them and act bits out over and over. Does your Ds struggle with sleep? My mum says our boy (who she absolutely does on!) is "like a border collie" 🤣

Border collie is exactly right! Although they can concentrate better than DS 😂 he mostly sleeps through since he dropped the nap, but he’s right down the lower end of sleep needs. 10 hours at night is a great night.

Glad to hear yours has settled a bit. After my 3 days solo parenting him I just sit and stare into space and absorb silence and let my ears recover!

Yep we are low sleep here too, a bad night is 8 hours and an amazing night is 10! He'll go from literally bouncing about to fast asleep in minutes or will nod off mid sentence bless him 🤣

We struggle with his separation anxiety massively and he's really sensitive to things like labels in clothes, temperature etc. He's due to see a paediatrician this year after a few appointments with hv and gp flagged up a few sen concerns, but we're not sure. Nursery agree with us, that he's extremely sensitive but at his age he's kind of in a grey area where it could be Sen or he could just be a really sensitive kid. But we're working on stuff to help support him either way, like routines, a soothe box, making sure he has plenty of opportunities to burn energy off etc. At least the better weather is coming which means more time at parks, farms, beaches and things. Not sure about you but we find Ds is much happier outside and often finds groups/classes a bit overwhelming?

My ds(3) is the same. Think we got 40 mins off about 4 months ago when he had a fever and sat down quietly but other than that he's wanting physical and/or stimulation constantly. I'd describe more as a husky as they can jump and climb higher I believe.

A way to describe parenting a 2-3 year old is “what the fuck are they on?”
My 3 year old is non stop from morning till night. He sleeps through the night but wizzes doing everything.

I take him to the park to burn off energy, ride his bike/scooter.
Nursery comments on his energy…. He’s the duracell bunny 😂

@Danikm151 ha ha yep we get the Duracell comment too! I dropped him off a while ago and said oh he might actually nap today as he's been up since 4.30am... picked him up at 4pm they said he's not stopped all day "he'll be asleep in his tea" ha ha no he was still up till like 7.30 🤣

Yep same... Parents of her friends, when they see her at the park, say, "wow, she'll be tired after this!". Lol, no, we're going to come back later and do the same again just to reach her minimum needs.

She's big and tall for her age but just SO full on. At 3.5 she's just starting to want to play alone for short periods, but there's still a running commentary the entire time. Everything is part of an elaborate ongoing game of pretend, as she's the narrator.

Apparently I wasn't anything like this as a child, but my mum was!

My second (currently still a small baby) has a completely different personality, it's amazing to see the contrast.

That was my DS1. He's 13 now, still talks non stop (about random niche things like games consoles from the 2000's) but he's much more manageable. They do calm down.

Very very normal. Our daughter is 3.5 now and is finally getting better. But 1-2 was horrible, 2-3 hard. She wants constant engagement and our focus. It’s great but exhausting. Like yours, she’s been like this since an infant, and is incredibly smart. It’s just hard for us to handle, especially now we have a baby too. When we were pregnant with our second, we saw friends of friends, and one was watching our daughter play for 5 minutes and was like “she’s exactly like our son. We didn’t have a second child as we couldn’t handle possibly having two like that 😂”. Our second is much easier going, but is suddenly very active. And I’m terrified!

Sounds normal to me! My just turned 4 year old is the same, dropped his nap at 20 months, had only just started sleeping through 3/4 times a week in the last month or so. Still up by 5 every single morning 😩

He has always had excellent speech and could hold a proper conversation with him before he was 2. He's definitely calming as he's getting older and there are actual moments of peace as he colours or 'reads' a book or plays by himself.

It sounds like you have quite an energetic and curious little one on your hands!

His behaviour is quite common for a three-year-old. Children develop at different rates, and their intensity may change as they grow older (my DS certainly did).

Hugs OP. I can relate to the exhaustion. It’s several years since my DC were that age but I still shudder thinking about it.

I have three DC. All were busy and active and emotional and on the go all the time, very similar to your child. Two were diagnosed with ADHD at age 8. The other is 12 now and does not have it.

What I’m trying to say is that at 3 it is very difficult to determine if there’s anything to be concerned about or not, so try not to worry.

I could have written this myself! Although, luckily, my (almost) 3 year old has always been a great sleeper - just wakes up early and is non stop from then! The only time in his life he's actually relaxed was after he had a leg amputation surgery last year and he was a shell of himself for a couple of months and I remember praying for him to go back to his crazy self! Mine does NOT stop talking, I've never known anything like it 😁 no advice unfortunately but you're not alone!