3yo giving up dummy created huge sleep anxiety

[Aha87]

Hi all

This is my first time posting as I’m having trouble with my 3yo DD after she gave up her dummy and looking for some words of wisdom from other parents who might have experienced the same.

In short, we tried to prepare her as best we could for getting rid of the dummy when she turned three and became a ‘big girl’ and she seemed ready and understanding. The first night she fell asleep without asking for it but took longer to drift off as she was used to sucking it to sleep. We thought we were in the clear but then the night wakings began… she’d wake up hysterical, not explicitly asking for the dummy but wailing that she couldn’t sleep or speaking gibberish and thrashing about violently. It could take up to an hour to calm her down and then she would regularly wake at 5am, again hysterical and refusing to sleep anymore.

She’s also dropped her naps now as she seems terrified of sleeping - I suspect now that she doesn’t suck the dummy to sleep she doesn’t know how to drift off which stresses her out. At nursery they say she gets very upset at nap time and wails ‘no sleep’. She is also very upset and anxious around bedtimes now. But because of the multiple wakings, the early starts and the lack of napping, she is completely exhausted which makes the hysteria worse and creates a vicious cycle.

It’s been about two weeks since we got rid of the dummy and things aren’t getting better so I’m not sure what to do. It goes against my instincts to backtrack and give it back but equally I’m very worried about how anxious she has become about sleep, not to mention exhausted (also have 3mo DD who wakes regularly!)

Any advice or similar experiences? Do we ride it out? Or cave and give her back the dummy and try again in a few months?

Many thanks in advance

Hi, I am in a very similar situation so wondering how things are going and what you did c

Do you know anyone with a new baby who uses a dummy? My DS was 4 and still used one to sleep at night. His newborn cousin was brought round by my sis (was 2nd born not PFB and had a dummy from birth!) DS took one look at his cousin and said 'what he he doing with that in his mouth!?'
Told him they were for babies and he chucked his in the bin as he was a big boy! No trauma at all he just stopped and that was it.

We ended up giving it back to her! Her sleep was getting progressively worse over the two weeks and she’d become so anxious around bedtimes, often in tears begging not to go to bed but completely exhausted. So we gave in and as soon as she had the dummy back she started sleeping through again 7-7 (however she never went back to the afternoon nap which somehow got dropped through this ordeal!)

I can’t say it was my finest parenting moment backtracking.. but I figure two steps forward, one step back. We will try again in a few months, perhaps with more prep in the run up to it. On reflection, I think the timing was wrong as there were still a lot of emotions tied up with the dummy given her new baby sister and she just wasn’t ready.

Hope it goes better for anyone else attempting to lose the dummy and do come back and share any tips if you have them!

Awww! I do hope it gets easier the next time you try it. I was so tempted to give it back yesterday, but managed to hold off again. I still feel absolutely heartbroken when I remember the way he cried for it on the first two nights, shouting ‘dummy come here’ (he can just about speak a few words!

I am hoping it gets easier for the two of us - when you decide to do it again. And hoping my ds adjusts without it and gets his ability to fall asleep without it during the day back. If I put him in a car at nap time, he would be fully out. But I’m just not home with him to be able to do that!