6 month old doesn’t like me

[BumpVee]

Hello,

This is my first time posting and just wanted to see if anyone else has ever felt this way because I literally don’t know what to do anymore.

Basically, I have a 6 month old daughter who all of a sudden seems like she hates me. I am with her everyday and do everything, feed, play, sing, read, take her out and I’m finding it very hard to get a smile out of her, let alone a laugh. She always seems very frustrated and fed up when she’s with me and rarely makes eye contact. When she does, she doesn’t really smile and looks away almost instantly. When I try to pick her up she does reach out to me but she makes this very frustrated noise all the time whenever she sees me and i when I walk out the room, she stops! When her dad comes home she’s all smiles/laughter/excited and pretty much the same with my mum. I’m feeling really depressed at the moment due to this because I don’t know what I’ve done wrong and I’m feeling rejected. I love my baby but I’m starting to feel like she hasn’t bonded with me because when she was a newborn I fell down the stairs and dropped her (worst thing that’s ever happened in my life) so after that, for about a month I was scared to even hold her and I never really done much skin to skin contact with her which I now regret and she is exclusively ff. This sounds crazy but I’m wondering if she remembers that happened and this is why she doesn’t seem to like me. I honestly feel so daft even saying this but I just know where to turn.

Hi OP. My daughter went through a phase of this around the same age and it crushed me for a while, but honestly as crap as it is, it was a case of dad is the ‘fun one’ the one that’s out at work all day and is seen as ‘the treat’, you’re the constant that will always be there - it’s reassuring really, she probably sees you as her primary care giver. She won’t remember you falling down the stairs with her. 💐

If you feel very down about it, have you considered speaking to someone about it? Being a mum is so overwhelming at times and adding mum guilt to that can make things even worse. You sound like a wonderful mum by the way

Oh gosh, my heart goes out to you. I can immediately see that there are similar threads on mn so please read them and know you’re not alone in feeling like this.

That must have been so distressing when you fell and so did the baby. She’s fine though, and won’t remember, and it was a complete accident. Maybe you still need to talk to someone about it to help process it? Sounds traumatic.

It sounds like reaching out to a professional might not be a bad thing overall - I’m thinking health visitor and gp in the first instance? Health visitors are often so experienced and reassuring. They’ve heard and seen it all I’m sure.

Hang in there. Your concern and love for your baby are clear and that makes you a brilliant mum. You can give her what she needs and what she needs is you. Don’t retreat from her, apart from when you need a break. Know that your job is to care for her even when she’s frustrated or angry. This phase won’t last for long.

Nothing to do with accidental dropping or bonding trust me. We have twin girls exact same mums just there and yay here's dad from work lol. It changes several times in a young life which parent is preferred haha

This is not about you! I had the same questions in my head when my daughter was the same at that age as yours.

Finally, someone told me this happens becouse she considers you and herself as one! She doesn't understand to be separated from you as she never was (even if you didn't have skin to skin for a month, you were always around her). If you really think about it, it is a huge compliment!

Also, she is happy for her dad as she is separated from him.

I know it's hard, but do not worry about this! Your little one loves you! You will be crying back for these days when you have a clingy toddler who only wants Mommy 😅

Thank you so much for the replies, this has made me feel a lot better💜 I have spoken to the GP earlier this week who said it sounds like I have PND and offered anti anxiety/medication which I’m just not sure about taking to be honest. I don’t want to become addicted to them but I do want to make sure I don’t get any worse because of course, my daughter is my number one priority. Even though I never show it around her, I’m 100% sure she picks up my vibe☹️ I did also speak to my HV who is lovely and offered a lot of support. Anyway, I just wanted some advice from other mums who possibly know where I’m coming from so again thanks guys❤️

@BumpVee I think the other posters have already covered the main issues, but just to add that anti anxiety medication isn't addictive ☺️. If you struggled with back pain, you'd take a painkiller, so if your mood is struggling a bit id encourage you to consider the medication too ❤️

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl thank you. When you put it that way it really does make sense. I am seriously considering it. Things have been slightly better today but I am seriously considering it👍🏼xx

OP I could have written your post. I feel the same. Rest assured you're not alone. My DD also sleeps terribly at night so I'm constantly in tears and exhausted.

I'm sure you're a brilliant mum and from what I've read this is normal and will pass xx

Hi OP, you’re not alone! My 11 month old is exactly the same - all smiles and giggles for his dad/my mum/strangers in shops but not for me. I kind of feel like I deserve the smiles and chuckles the most because I’m the one who went through pregnancy and birth and who has done all the hard work and daily grind of maternity leave. I’m hoping that this will change when he starts nursery and sees me less so I become more of a novelty.

@Purple89 @Minta85

Aww I’m sorry your LO isn’t sleeping well at night. Everything feels 100x times worse when you’re exhausted, I’ve been there myself! I’ve had my baby in a consistent bedtime routine since she was about a month old and it’s anyone’s guess how she’ll sleep but I’m just sticking with it🤷‍♀️ I know it’s not much help but it won’t last forever! If you’ve got anyone you trust to have the baby just for one night, just so you can have a good sleep, it really helps I’ve found!

At least we’re not alone, that should make us -all feel better! It’s clearly quite common as I’ve read a few similar posts on here now. Like other people have said, they see us all the time a they are probably just sick of the sight of us lol. I’m sure it won’t be this way forever💜

I used to worry that my LO didn't like me - he was exactly the same with lighting up when his Dad got home but barely a smile with me no matter how hard I tried. Fast forward to now and he's the sweetest 6yo who writes me love notes and hides them on my pillow, and saves all the love notes I write him. It's just babies being babies, it's not about you. I promise. She will grow up to absolutely adore you. There is no one in the world better made for being that baby's Mum than you

Same when mine was younger, in fact I used to cry because I thought she didn't love me... Now she's 18 months old and it's always "mummy mummy mummy!!" and daddy barely gets a look in! It's clearly just a phase.