How to help 6 year old be more assertive?

[RaisingMilo]

My 6 year old is a bright, happy, well behaved boy. He’s not a shy or timid child but he’s not assertive at all and it’s beginning to affect him negatively now. He gets on really well with girls but other boys are often too loud and boisterous for him, so he often ends up being left out of activities because they don’t really notice him.

How can I help him to change this? I’m quite passive myself and I’m only just learning to be more confident and assertive, but I’m not sure how to do the same for him. He’s very social and will approach other children fine and he goes to several groups/sport classes which he’s confident in. I just want him to be able to stand up for himself and speak up loudly enough in group settings.

Any advice?

Thinking about it it’s very much my fault. I’m always telling him to consider how others feel, don’t wake the neighbour because she works nightshifts, don’t be rude to people, always be respectful of other people etc.

I wanted him to grow up confident but a really nice, considerate boy. I think I’ve overdone it with instilling consideration into him though unfortunately and now he considers others above himself and doesn’t want to be a nuisance. I’m going to stop that from now on but I have no idea how to undo what he’s already been taught! He’s a bit of a perfectionist too which isn’t great, he gets very upset if he isn’t the best at things or if he thinks he might have gotten something/done something wrong.