Biggest influence on children - family v school friends

[PSL1990]

What do you think is the bigger influence on children out of their family and the children they are around at school? In terms of behaviour, values and choices.

Long term... family
Short term...friends

agree with above.

im mid thirties now and still speak to some friends from school but definitely closer to cousins who are a similar age.

Mostly family up until the teens.
Then more friends.

Primary school - family
High school - friends

Family. Even if you're influenced by friends, your family values are baked in (even if you absolutely rebel, you're rebelling against your family, not friends)

Family - in terms of giving the correct tools, and high enough self esteem, to the child to resist negative peer pressure.

In years of raising my own kids, but also working in schools, the teens I see going off the rails, or getting in with the wrong crowd (and copying them), are usually not happy in themselves or have something going wrong at home.

Family in the long run, because so many people I know have turned into their mum or dad by age 45/50. I've never commented that someone has turned into one of their good friends 😃

Basically put the work in on values,self esteem, work ethic etc when they are young and that should carry them through.

Research shows it's peers. The reason that you'd assume family is because people tend to broadly socialise with others of a similar cultural, social and financial background to themselves.

Apparently, the single most influential parenting decision you can make is where you send them to school (and even then it's not the school that matters, it's their classmates).

Parenting does have some influence, but not as much as peers. Individual parenting decisions/methods/etc are shown not to have that much effect unless you're talking abuse or neglect.

I will try to find the source. I believe it comes from "The Gardener and the Carpenter" but I'd have to double check.

Family, especially with values.

Primary age, family. Secondary age, friends.

Family and home life build the foundations and have the greatest early influence, in teens and later life peers certainly have a bigger influence.

Basically put the work in on values,self esteem, work ethic etc when they are young and that should carry them through.

This, plus the family influence who the dc mix with for so many years - totally when very small, and then by where they send them to school / clubs / hobbies etc.

Yes, as teens the "in the moment" decisions are likely to be influenced by peers, but it is often family circumstances that will influence who those peers are.