Taking dummy away.. HELPP

[HH171222]

So my little one is turning 5 months tomorow. I was going to wait a few days and take the dummy away cold turkey. I initially gave it because he was using me as a dummy and then choking on the milk at 2 weeks old which scared me. He pulls dummy out and wakes up too much at night. Plus I want him to be able to self soothe by himself. Tonight he kept fussing wanting me to pick him up again and again so I thought let's just do it today. I let him cry it out for abit and it was way too much so I picked him to quiten him put him in his crib and pushed it forward and back to rock him to soothe him another way. He fell asleep and I've done it twice more in the past 2 hours and he's gone back to sleep each time. Am I cruel for taking it away. I know it gets harder as they grow and thought it's best to do it now. I tried giving something else in return but comforter Gets played with then thrown. Will i have to rock him every time now at night or is that what sleep training is for? I feel abit lost. Just looking for some reassurance, advice, tips etc

Meh….I wasn’t planning to use a dummy but then granny got involved at about 5 months old. My daughters now 18 months and I’ve just accepted she can keep using it until she’s old enough to explain why it has to go! She only has it at bed time now and occasionally in the day if super upset.
he’s only 5 months old though so it’s pretty normal for them to be fussing in the night dummy or no dummy! You’ll have to decide what your comfortable with re sleep training or rocking back to sleep! There is no right or wrong answer.
youll have plenty more phases of good nights and bad nights! Don’t worry, you’re doing fine!

I think dummies are amazing for little ones, it helps comfort and soothe them (when our boobs can't be available 24/7 like they wish), and they help reduce the risk of SIDS.
5 months is a bit early to be trying to get rid ??

Have you tried white noise ? My DS throws dummy away during the night but I've found that he stays asleep if I play white noise

my kids are in their early 20s now so my advice is probably out of date but my experience was ...

They needed a dummy because I breastfed and if I didn't had a dummy then my boobs were the dummy - no thanks from me.

Once they hit the age of being able to sleep for a good few hours (I'd say older than 5 months tbh) then you won't be able to achieve this with a dummy - dummy falls out, wakes baby up, baby cries, you have to get up to put the dummy back.

So for each of mine before we even got to the trying to sleep 6 plus hours we eliminated the dummy. With ds it was cold turkey at 6 months. 2 days of gristling it was fine. With dd we weaned her off it but when her baby sister arrived only 14 months later she would sometimes go up to her and take the dummy out of her mouth and have a suck - like someone having a drag on a fag - and then pop it back in her sister's mouth. Baby sister was the third child so we thought this was funny. I used to sterilize the dummies for my precious first born.

Well this is an unusual post , five months really? Your choice but ,teething and all that 😕 .

And also maybe I was really lazy ,but it meant when they woke in the night I was grateful all I had to do stagger through to their bedroom and pop the dummy back in 🙈.

5 months is quite young for self-soothing. If you do stick it out with the dummy they can replace it themselves in a few months time which can be quite useful for self-soothing. I never intended to use one but they have been useful for my DD and she us still using one at 11 months.

Mine's nearly 3 and still has one for bedtime 😬

Sorry, not helpful at all. I think it would have been easier taking it away at 5 months, but I liked that she had that comfort. 5 months is so tiny.

I was planning on taking it before 2 but serious illness happened. I'm waiting for the right time and then we will do dummy fairy.

My baby stopped taking the dummy at 8 months old. Maybe wait until a year and then take the dummy away.

Y

@Makingamess4212 I ended up giving it back to him about an hour later. Not that I don't have any perseverance but I felt bad. Yes it is early he is only 5 months and he does wake up at night but only a couple of times and he is young. My mum said today she gave mine until 5 years which is way too long. I always have a fan or heater on in background so I guess that counts as white noise? Do they learn to put it in there mouth eventually?

@wildinthecountry yes I realised last night it is too early and just gave it him back. I Actually thought the same thing for a long time. I won't need to go rock, pat shush whatever it is. Just dummy in and done 😂 but even with dummy in he does cry at night I think he just wants to sleep with me. I end up co sleeping but really don't want bad habits.

@takealettermsjones @trrk @Helena1993 thank you for your replies. I think there is no harm in continuing to give it. He just pulls it out so much! I'm just hoping he learns to find them sooner rather than later. His teeth are almost out as he's a early teether so if it helps then it helps him. But like I've mentioned before even with the dummy he's still fussing and I don't want him to get used to co sleeping. Thinking of getting a co sleeping crib/cot? Any advice

I’ve been there and it’s a difficult situation. I always gave her a dummy at night and she woke up once it fell out but then at 8 months she refused to suck on it and only chewed on it and spit it out.
I hated waking up multiple times to put the dummy back it. Then I sleep trained at 9 months and everything went smoothly since then. I highly recommend sleep training but I wouldn’t do 5 10 15 mins but a bit more gentle 2 5 10 15 and make sure she is gets enough milk during the day.

He's probably too small at the moment but, once he can put it in his mouth himself, just put loads of dummies in the cot. It means he won't have to search around for one. I used to put my DD to bed with about 6 dummies scattered around her!

This is the plan now. I really don't want to upset him at all. When did your LO start putting dummy in themselves? And was it just by themself or did you do anything to help? Thankyou.

I had good intentions of getting rid at 6 months but we had a hideous 4 month regression so that went out the window. She has only ever had it for sleep, car and buggy. Now 21 months and we got rid of it in the buggy a few months back so only sleep and car. Will probably get rid in the car sometime soon but I have no intention of getting rid overnight until she is happy to hand it over - it's a god send. Once they're 7/8 months they can bung it back in themselves and you won't have any other sleep crutches they rely on eg rocking. We've not had any sleep regressions since the 4 month one apart from the odd few days of early wakings and she started sleeping through consistently at 12 months. 8-12 months she would stir but I wouldn't always have to go in unless she was ill. I've been reliably getting a good nights sleep for 6 months plus now - fully credited to the dummy! If we have another I'll use one again.

@SErunner so do you think I should leave it. Because despite saying everything I'm getting frustrated once again with the dummy. But I don't want to take away something that comforts him 😔 one part of me says take it away but another says ride it out and wait until he can put it in his mouth himself. Did you teach your LO to put it in his mouth ? I don't mean to sound harsh but I'd rather someone be harsh to me and say do this or do that so I have a clear instruction to try and follow to see if it works if you get me rather than saying see how it goes x

Different things work for different people but personally in the long run the dummy has been great for us. You just have this middle phase where they start fiddling with it but can't put it back in that is very tedious! You need to do what's right for you. I didn't really teach her to put it back in as such, she just worked it out herself once she had sufficient hand function. I would put it in her hand sometime and encourage her to put it in.

Mine is 2.5 now but he definitely went through a stage where the dummy falling out was really disruptive to sleep!!
Obviously everyone is different and it’s your choice what you feel comfortable with. Personally, I wouldn’t be taking away the dummy so young. It’s obviously comforting to him. It won’t be long until he starts finding it himself and popping it back in. You don’t necessarily need to do anything to teach him, but you could try placing it in his hand when he wakes. He’s probably still a little young though.

Is he still sleeping in your room?

We used the dummy as little as possible during the day at that age and had got rid of it completely during the day by age 1. DS still used it at night until he was 2 which I didn’t mind as he’d fall asleep with it in, drop it and sleep peacefully without it and then when he did still hours later he’d just look for his dummy and use it to self settle again 😊 I thought it’d be a nightmare but it was super easy to get rid of at 2! He asked about it for 1 or 2 days at most and then never mentioned it again!

Dummies are meant to fall out. The dummy falling out won't be causing the waking; the waking is caused by something else. Dummies fall out when the baby reaches a deep sleep and their mouth relaxes and they stop sucking. If they wake up for an unrelated reason then they might need the dummy to go back to sleep again, but if they didn't have the dummy they would still wake and need whatever gets them back to sleep again in. At five months old that often requires parental input regardless.

DD1 never used a dummy but DD2 (11mo) has one at night. From about 7/8mo she could find one in her cot and put it in her mouth. Now if she wakes in the night for whatever reason she just finds a dummy and goes back to sleep. It doesn't wake me, our monitor records any movement overnight so I can see the clips in the morning!

I don't really have any plans to take it away. She doesn't have it during the day, just for naps and overnight, and it's very soothing for her.

My youngest loved their dummy. I only let them have it for sleeping though. Not when awake.

I used to take it out of their mouth when they were asleep but left some in the cot so they could put it back in if they woke up.

When they were two we got rid of them by saying that you had to give them to Father Christmas for the new babies.

My DD had a dummy til just over 2. We had it tied to a comforter, one of those squares with a teddy head at one corner. It meant she could find it easily in the night and pop it back in. We did the whole dummy fairy thing when she was 2y3m I think and she had a few nights of broken sleep but then fine.

DS started rejecting his at 8m and I just took it away, seemed easier than trying to force it and then have a fight on our hands trying to get rid 2 years later. He's 2 now, still breastfeeds and likes to use me as a dummy from 4.30am most mornings 🙃 so no real advice other than each child being different!

Most babies can put it back themselves by 6-7 months so you’re pretty close. They aren’t very good at finding them though and they can fall out of the cot bars so we had to give 10 to ensure an unbroken night!

Oh yes DD2 has a comforter too. She likes to rub it on her face when she's going to sleep.