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Original poster

Will it get easier?

26 replies

Emfrancesca · 16/05/2023 00:03

My little girl is turning 5 weeks old this week and although I love her to bits I am finding most days long and difficult. Some days she just cries and whinges for no reason and I find it so frustrating. Sometimes she won't nap all day and if she does it's only for 10-30mins. I find myself in a cycle of nappy change, feed, wind, cry cry cry, sleep. She won't let me put her down during the day and if I do she will wake up/cry/whinge after about 10 minutes. I'm not getting much enjoyment out of looking after her and I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way? The lack of routine is hard and I find myself counting down the hours until my other half gets home from work so I can have a break. I really want to enjoy being around her but it's so hard because you get nothing back at this stage. It's either crying, sleeping or her just staring. She has started to smile but it's not a regular thing yet ☹️
I'm hoping things get a little easier once I can interact with her and I can make her laugh and she can be entertained with toys etc.

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2pence · 16/05/2023 01:00

Yes, first 6 weeks are hell, and then it gets easier, I promise.

Hang on in there, you'll see a change soon and you're almost there.

UsingChangeofName · 16/05/2023 01:01

Yes.
It will.
Many of us have been trapped in this nightmare with a newborn. It is horrible, but keep repeating that it is only a phase.
Do you have someone who can come and be with you for a while sometimes during the day ? A friend or relation ?

Or, are you feeling up to putting her in the pram and getting out in the fresh air ? It might seem daunting, but it can do you the world of good to get some fresh air.

Penguin34 · 16/05/2023 01:04

I found it easier at 8 weeks once that start smiling at you, it's a game changer

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Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 16/05/2023 01:05

I promise it gets easier. When depends on the child. Hang in there.

turtool · 16/05/2023 01:11

UsingChangeofName · 16/05/2023 01:01

Yes.
It will.
Many of us have been trapped in this nightmare with a newborn. It is horrible, but keep repeating that it is only a phase.
Do you have someone who can come and be with you for a while sometimes during the day ? A friend or relation ?

Or, are you feeling up to putting her in the pram and getting out in the fresh air ? It might seem daunting, but it can do you the world of good to get some fresh air.

I agree getting out the house is the goal. It's hard and easier to stay in with a baby but actually they Fresh air and achievement you feel os worth it.
The first year can be a blur. But after every 2 hour scream you can get a smile or laugh that make it worthwhile.

Littleslug · 16/05/2023 02:56

It does!!! To be honest it only got easier for me after 10 weeks and even now it's still a struggle some days but it's definitely wayyyyy better and like penguin said once they start smiling it's a game changer...kind of feels like the suffering is worth it
Have you got a rocker? I found that my baby would fall asleep in that
As for wanting to be held all the time and not sleeping //not napping it does get better baby just needs to get used to it keep trying!!
Don't lose hope. You've got this:)

Original poster
Emfrancesca · 16/05/2023 03:23

Thank you everyone for your replies, they have given me some hope and motivation to keep going!
I have taken her out in the pram for a walk a few times but I do get anxious about her screaming in the pram as she has done it before and it really stresses me out, so if she's having a bad day it does stop me from getting out but maybe I need to just bite the bullet and go for it.

OP posts:
Starrynos · 16/05/2023 03:35

OP this was me a few weeks ago with my little girl. Have you thought about seeing a cranial osteopath? We took dd when she was about 4 weeks old and have seen a marked improvement since. They will ask you about the birth and if you had forceps/c section/she got stuck in canal etc. Sometimes they are a bit scrunched and misaligned from the birth and an osteopath just sorts and stretches out anything that’s bothering them. We’ve had so much less fuss and crying since so could be worth a go. Good luck, sounds like you’re doing amazing, this is number 2 for us and I promise it does get easier!

Original poster
Emfrancesca · 16/05/2023 03:52

Starrynos · 16/05/2023 03:35

OP this was me a few weeks ago with my little girl. Have you thought about seeing a cranial osteopath? We took dd when she was about 4 weeks old and have seen a marked improvement since. They will ask you about the birth and if you had forceps/c section/she got stuck in canal etc. Sometimes they are a bit scrunched and misaligned from the birth and an osteopath just sorts and stretches out anything that’s bothering them. We’ve had so much less fuss and crying since so could be worth a go. Good luck, sounds like you’re doing amazing, this is number 2 for us and I promise it does get easier!

That's interesting, because I had to have a c section as instead of her head being tucked into her chin she was facing upwards and looking down so I wasn't dilating. They also had to use forceps and she ended up with a whopping bruise across her forehead and her nose got a bit squished.
Was this something you did privately?

OP posts:
hyub · 16/05/2023 04:13

Gutted about rubbish newborn stage www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/4710702-gutted-about-rubbish-newborn-stage

I'm at 6 weeks and have found solace in the above thread.

It's been sooooo hard.

Feel free to DM me if you want to chat about the joy of newborns 😂😭

MintJulia · 16/05/2023 04:15

Yes, it does get easier. And quite quickly.

Until then, when mine was that stage, I put him in a sling and we went out in the fresh air a lot. The closeness seemed to comfort him, and constant motion sent him to sleep.

Now the weather is better, it might be worth a try.

Starrynos · 16/05/2023 04:29

We went privately as not sure how long the waiting list is for nhs, it was about £45 for an hour session but so worth it as she would scream all.night.long. But I’m sure the GP or HV could find out what waiting times are like where you are. We were similar in that she was stuck facing a certain way and it meant her neck muscles on one side were really tight and bothering her, especially when lying down. If your dd has a side they prefer to look towards when they’re lying down, it could be that the less favoured side is the one causing the problems. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and can take a few visits but it’s done wonders for us. In the meantime sending strength and caffeine!!

Original poster
Emfrancesca · 16/05/2023 08:02

Not sure why I said she's turning 5 weeks, she's turning 6 weeks this week! Let's hope I'm closer to happier days than initially thought 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Emfrancesca · 16/05/2023 08:04

I also have the in laws coming over in a couple of weeks to look after her for a few hours while me and my other half go out for some lunch and have a break. I feel guilty for wanting a break from her but I haven't been away from her since she was born so I'm hoping having that chance to miss her will do me some good.

OP posts:
pokabubble · 16/05/2023 08:04

Absolutely yes. It will get so much easier slowly and surely.

TheGriffle · 16/05/2023 08:05

Have you had her checked for reflux? The constant waking up, crying when being laid down are typical signs. If you can try some medication for that she may be more comfortable/happy.

CurlewKate · 16/05/2023 08:08

Be sooo careful about cranial osteopathy on a tiny baby-it can be dangerous.

Oldermum84 · 16/05/2023 08:24

I remember we registered our DS when he was 5 weeks old and I was utterly miserable. The registrar was so lovely and must have been able to tell, she told me how hard it is when they are so little and give nothing back. She told me within the next couple of weeks he would start to smile and after that laugh and little by little it gets easier. She was right. I was so grateful to her.

bibbingo · 16/05/2023 08:32

Oh gosh it gets SO much easier! Especially in a few months when she can sit up to play but can't crawl/walk yet - that was the golden stage 😂

Even from about 8 weeks ish I started feeling a bit more confident and things felt easier. Don't put too much pressure on yourself Smile

DeflatedAgain · 16/05/2023 08:40

It gets easier. You're doing amazing. ❤️

My DS is 5 months and he has been a terrible eater since about 2 months. He's a grazer and it's a constant battle to get him to have a full feed rather than lots of small feeds🤣 Over time new hurdles will appear but that's all part of being a mum and you'll feel so much more confident taking them on once you've got the hardest part of looking after a baby completed.

abmac95 · 16/05/2023 08:46

Baby carrier may help. Swing also may help.

It sucks just now but it will get better.

jhlondon · 09/11/2023 11:57

Hi op @Emfrancesca

How did things go for you now?
Currently with my 6 week old, feeling exhausted, miserable, depressed and guilty 😥
Still waiting on better days, she's become a nightmare napper, whereas before she'll nap so well during the day but have become so fussy 😭

Ljhunt · 09/11/2023 19:22

By no means out the woods as my DD is 9 weeks and im still asking the same question as you, but I did find weeks 5-7 the hardest. So much crying, refusing to sleep anywhere but me etc around 7 weeks it was like she suddenly was less overwhelmed by the world and calmed down a bit. It feels a bit more manageable now (though she’ll still only sleep on me in the day….)

jhlondon · 10/11/2023 04:23

@Ljhunt she's turning 7 weeks on Saturday, so hoping she's just going through her growth spurt and we're over the hump 🤞
I've never felt such contrast in emotions, so in love yet so hateful, so happy yet so much sorrow, so exhausted but never felt more alive
Can't wait for her to grow up a bit, and hate that I feel this way 😥

Ljhunt · 10/11/2023 07:50

@jhlondon i totally get that re emotions. I love her so so much but also feel moments of what have I done I’m never going to be able to enjoy life like I used to ever again. And then obviously feeling so guilty for feeling that way!