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Constant incidents at nursery

11 replies

Mamabear04 · 15/05/2023 22:33

DD started nursery 5 months ago just after her 3rd birthday. It seems like every second week there is an incident where she is hit by another child. At first I thought it was just one bruiser but she's now told me about 2 other kids hitting her. The nursery never seem to see and on one occasion another child told the nursery teacher that a boy hit DD and they actually seemed pleased and that it was a good thing that DD didn't get horrendously upset. I feel so frustrated about it all! I've spoke to the supervisor of her age group about it and all I get back is that they get the kid to apologise and write it in a book. I just don't see any change or any strategy to help DD other than they say they'll keep an eye on it. DD has struggled a lot with starting nursery, she's a covid baby and been at home with me for 3 years so obviously the separation anxiety is enough. She's come on so much socially from going to nursery, her confidence has just grown and she is desperate to make friends now so I don't want to move her or take her out of nursery but I honestly am so stressed about it. I just hate the thought of her feeling alone and upset. Can anyone offer advice? I emailed the nursery's duty manager this evening but not sure about what else to do or expect from a nursery..

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/05/2023 07:35

I'd be worried that she's being hit a lot and their only concern is how she deals with it. It also seems like they want her to be "a good girl@ and not hit back? Fuck that, if somebody hits her she has every right to smack them one back.

Flittingaboutagain · 16/05/2023 07:39

Oh this is horrible. Is it impacting on her wanting to go? I think I'd have the conversation with them about their expectations of behaviour and child development and just see if your values are aligned. What do they think it's important to teach kids about this etc?

Yummymummy2020 · 16/05/2023 07:40

I would worry that nobody is seeing these incidents. Of course they can’t see everything but it’s frequent. Also, when I worked in a nursery hitting was taken seriously. A one off still warranted both sets of parents being told and it was made clear it wouldn’t be tolerated repetitively to ensure the parents dealt with it at home too, Honestly out of fear of losing their place! Kids will hit but three is old enough to start to learn not to, and there should be plans in place to supervise known hitters extra to try avoid things escalating to hitting in the first place as it’s rarely totally out of the blue. I wouldn’t be happy with the care op and it would be reasonable to move given this is a regular occurrence. Not to worry you, but if they are missing all the hitting what else are they missing in there!

GingerScallop · 16/05/2023 07:43

They need to deal with it but given their attitude so far, I wouldn't trust them to. Are there other nurseries or child minders you can switch your dd to? Its important that your dd is safe, happy and not taught to meekly endure being assaulted

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/05/2023 07:45

Forgot to ask, is she there full time? How does she interact with other Children when you're with her?

GingerScallop · 16/05/2023 07:45

just seen you don't want to move her. Let's hope they take corrective action but given their reaction so far I wouldn't trust them to. They might just get better at hiding the incidences. Good luck op

CooCooCaChu · 16/05/2023 07:46

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 16/05/2023 07:35

I'd be worried that she's being hit a lot and their only concern is how she deals with it. It also seems like they want her to be "a good girl@ and not hit back? Fuck that, if somebody hits her she has every right to smack them one back.

What?! I really hope you're not a nursery worker.

Mamabear04 · 16/05/2023 10:08

The thing is she's only there 3 afternoons a week! I drop her off at 1pm and pick her up around 4.30pm so it seems utterly ridiculous this is happening! I'm so glad to hear your responses as I've just been so confused by the nurserys response.

DD used to be very shy with other kids but now after being at nursery for 5 months she will actively seek out other kids wherever we go and make friends even at a trip to the play park. She's such a sensitive little girl that I feel awful for her. I just want to wrap her up and protect her! I'm waiting to hear what the duty manager has to say. If they don't do anything to fix the problem I guess I will have have move her to another nursery but she's worked so hard to settle in and she is the kind of kid that feels more secure when she knows the routine and is familiar with a setting. I'm worried that it will just set her completely back!

OP posts:
Sunintheskyforfree · 12/03/2025 16:33

I know this thread is old but wondering what happened next OP as I am in the same situation with sensitive DS

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 12/03/2025 21:22

@Sunintheskyforfree have you tried an @ to try and get the OP's attention? Flowers

Sunintheskyforfree · 13/03/2025 07:15

@Mamabear04

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