To carry on the friendship or not?

[Mumclub]

I have a close friend who has a DC the same age as mine. They have played together/been friends since birth, they are both now 4 y/o and her child makes mine upset/hurt every time they are around each other and my ‘friend’ never tells hers off for the unkind things they do. She just kind of ignores them. It’s mainly physical things like, punching, kicking, poking in eye etc. A few things happen if she sees them doing it - she will completely act like she didn’t see when I know she did or she will say things like ‘if it was an accident you won’t get told off’. It really upsets me to see my child in this situation as they always talk about their ‘friend’ in a positive way. What should I do!? Continue the friendship? Confront her? Drift away to avoid confrontation? I need advice!

I wouldn’t force my child to meet up with this other child. I would encourage them to be with people who make them feel good about themselves. What message are you sending your child by not protecting them from this other child.

Can you meet up with the Mum without the DC? Of you don't want to, then I'd probably stop meeting up.

I would not be subjecting my child to that. He/she is being bullied. You can still carry on with the friendship with the mum though.

Yes we do meet up as part of a larger group of friends without the children. I have distanced myself from meeting up after a few occasions of this happening… but it’s difficult when you are both part of a bigger group of friends when there are always events like birthday parties, general meet ups, Christenings, Christmas parties and so on. To make it worse both kids have recently been accepted into the same school in September (our catchment area school but not theirs but still accepted)

To make it worse both kids have recently been accepted into the same school in September (our catchment area school but not theirs but still accepted)

Wow that's unlucky. I'd be encouraging friendships with other boys once he starts school.

Just ask for them to be in separate classes

It’s a small school - 1 class per year group.