Toddler extremely sensitive to touch when tired

[Mamabear04]

DD is 3.5yo and when she gets tired (from about 4pm until bedtime at 7pm) she is extremely sensitive to touch and gets very upset. It makes it very stressful during the witching hours before bed. She especially hates getting her head touched and sometimes just taking her hair bobbles out (I do it as gentle as physically possible) can cause an all out meltdown. It also makes bath time an absolute nightmare as she can't cope. We can't do bath time any other time of day just because there isn't any time in the day to do it and it makes washing her hair soooo difficult. The only touch she can manage is a cuddle on the sofa watching TV but if she even bangs her knee she during this time period she has a meltdown. Is this normal? Will she grow out of it? Am I doing something wrong?

Why can't you do bath time instead of cuddling on the sofa watching TV? It seems like they'd be time to do it then.

I'd also try putting her to bed earlier, if she's tried at 4pm don't make her wait until 7pm.

Does she sleep OK?

I've never encountered this issue specifically, but everyone's tolerance for stuff is much lower when they're tired so it's sounds reasonable that her tolerance for being touched/hurting herself is massively reduced when she's tired. I'd not be happy that her tired period is so long though. She shouldn't be that tied for 3 hours a day. It's seems like you need to alter her routine slightly to minimise that.

I've tried doing an early bath but if she's tired it's just always a meltdown. She hasn't been sleeping well for a while now. She has struggled with starting nursery/new sibling/nightmares and I think by the end of the day she's just so tired. We've also been plagued with nursery bugs for the past 4 months (they are endless!!) And is the kind of child who is non stop and won't sit still for long even for TV. On a good night she wakes once and on a bad night around 3 times. It could be for help going to the toilet, nightmares, cover coming off etc. She goes to bed at 7pm and usually wakes for the day around 6-7.30am (ish)

Feed her earlier, bath her earlier and take her bobbles out after school (does she need them at all???). You’re basically asking how to make your child have more stamina than she does…..you just have to slow down to HER pace.

I'd try moving everything forward an hour, dinner, bath, in bed at 6pm and see how that goes.

You also don't need to wash her hair everyday unless it's particularly mucky.

My child never found baths relaxing. He is just more sensitive than other children. He was later diagnosed with sensory processing difficulties. He was worse when tired but still more easily overwhelmed by noise, texture/touch at other times too (but it was maybe less noticeable in certain situations). Things like nursery and school can be sensory hell.
How is their sleep?
Just do what you can to reduce extra stimuli where possible. Is it worse after a full on day of nursery? They may be bottling it all up and bath/hair brushing is just the final straw?
Experiment to see if different brushes/shampoos etc are better tolerated. Get her to choose.

Sorry see you said about sleep- doesn't seem excessively sleep deprived on a good night but it very child dependent. Waking more often is quite normal for extra sensitive kid's unfortunately.