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Parenting

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11 month old keeps waking in the night

8 replies

chloe11b · 13/05/2023 02:05

So my 11 month old has 3 bottles in a day. But at night he just proper demands for a bottle, he'll constantly keep shuffling and turning, moaning and screaming the house down. This is happening every single night. He's on the bigger side Aswell 99th percentile, and this just can't go on anymore.
I mean me and he's dad takes turns seeing our daughter in hospital who's been in hospital over a year due to her lung disease uses a vent and oxygen etc, it's a lot to get into, she is Down syndrome and has a severe terminal lung disease. So for example I'll go Monday morning come back home around 11 when she goes to sleep, dad will go the next day, then me the day after, days im not with my daughter im with my son.
So when im just trying to get at least just a little bit of sleep I can't because he's just screaming down the house and shuffling and turning?
He's not fully led weaned, like he's not feeding himself it's me feeding him, he just doesn't want to ever try feed himself? He does sometimes with baby biscuits, toast, but the pastas and veg and things he won't, he won't eat proper pasta either he wants it sort of puréed but a thick purée if that makes sense? In the night I offer water first for a while, then baby juice but he just won't have any of it, im out of ideas honestly feel like such a failure

Mentally Im not ok, we received the news my daughter's condition is getting worse, we don't really know how long we have left with her wether it be months or a year, it's hard to say. She's two years old, I can't bear to imagine my life without her. We always knew my daughter's condition has no cure, because she also has two holes in her heart which can't be repaired because of the lung condition and pulmonary hypertension, she's also tube fed she can't eat actual food. She uses a ventilator and oxygen, she has good days and bad days, she hasn't been home for a long time as they're trying to figure out how to make the most stable health plan to get her home permanently, her health conditions are really really complex, im fully trained for all the medical cares. But it's the travelling to hospital, hospitals aren't such a nice place either but I love being with my daughter so it's okay, but it's just been hard lately with my son and he's bottles because he can't keep going on like this, he's going to be one soon, the bottles really need to be reduced to at least 2-3 bottles, no night bottles, start on more solid foods, I could really use some advice

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 13/05/2023 06:30

Oh my love I'm so very, very sorry about your DD. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling Flowers

When you say your son is on the 99th centile, is that for weight and height?

chloe11b · 13/05/2023 13:50

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 13/05/2023 06:30

Oh my love I'm so very, very sorry about your DD. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling Flowers

When you say your son is on the 99th centile, is that for weight and height?

Yes love weight wise, pretty tall Aswell, he's always been a big baby, at birth he was 10lbs x

OP posts:
Judgyjudgy · 13/05/2023 13:52

What time and what lengths are his naps during the day? What time does he go to bed and when does he wake? Even does he get up for the day?

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Judgyjudgy · 13/05/2023 13:53

What is baby juice?

Seeline · 13/05/2023 14:01

If he is a big baby, only having 3 bottles a day and bit really eating proper meals I suspect he is probably hungry.
Have you tried giving a bottle when he wakes - he may just go back down straight away, rather than fussing.
I think you need to work on his food during the day - encourage bigger meals etc. I think it's fairly normal to still be feeding an 11 month old. I don't think either of mine were feeding themselves much before around 2 years, and needed help even then if tired or poorly.
I'm sorry that you are in the situation that you are - it can't make anything easy.

LadyJ2023 · 13/05/2023 14:39

3 bottles only..the poor lad will be hungry and have you tried baby foods to. Our twins had double that and smaller and sleep all night

chloe11b · 16/05/2023 02:01

LadyJ2023 · 13/05/2023 14:39

3 bottles only..the poor lad will be hungry and have you tried baby foods to. Our twins had double that and smaller and sleep all night

He's a big boy he's well fed, until your in my shoes do not judge, do you have a dying 2 year old from a terminal disease? Nope. I'm at the hospital a lot becaus my daughter won't be here for long, my son will. If my son refuses food in the day he will have more bottles, if he is up for food he will have breakfast, lunch and dinner with he's usual 3 bottles. Thanks.

OP posts:
FrizzledFrazzle · 16/05/2023 10:54

This sounds like such a heartbreaking situation for your family OP, I'm so sorry about your daughter. I really hope that she is able to come home soon, so that you can all spend time with her without trekking back and forth to the hospital. It must be so hard to be away from her when you know that you won't have man years to spend with her because of her illness?

I'm wondering if before your son was born, being at home was your time to recharge and rest before needing to head back to a stressful hospital environment? But now you and your husband are splitting your time between being at the hospital with your DD and being at home caring for your DS, who then wakes/cries/fusses at night. It sounds like you both hardly see each other and never get a moment to rest/regroup. That is a huge amount of pressure to be under and it sounds so hard.

Your DS is only 11MO. He doesn't understand that you are under so much stress, or that his big sister is ill and has a life limiting illness. He's just getting on with being a baby and learning how to eat and sleep independently.

Please cut yourself some slack about his bottles and his feeding. If he is waking in the night and giving him a bottle gets him back to sleep easily, do it. If he wants another bottle during the day/in the evening after he's eaten his meals, give it to him. If he eats better if you spoon feed him and mostly plays with finger foods, keep mushing his pasta and give him the finger foods that he eats. That is all totally developmentally normal. Right now, he's eating solids, he's gaining weight and he's starting to feed himself. He will get to eating independently in his own time and you are not doing anything wrong by meeting him where he is at right now.

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