“Is this sad? Does my DD know I’m her mum?”

[Calmondeck]

How would you react this a dear friend telling you this..

Background, we are all expats. Friend from one continent, married to lovely man from another continent, now living in a 3rd country where the local language is foreign to both of them. 2 yr old daughter has been going to daycare since 9 months old, 9am-5:30pm daily, in the local language. Daughter spends about 1.5 hours awake in the morning with parents, and 1.5 hours at night. The daughter understands 3 languages (mum’s, dad’s and local language) but only speaks in local language.

My lovely friend described the language barriers with her daughter and the limited time together interacting each day. She asked me “is this sad? Does my DD know I am her mother? Sometimes I wonder whether weekends feel strange to her because she is used to being in group care”.

I honestly didn’t know what to say, because I truly don’t know what a little 2 yr old thinks. Maybe the different languages are not even a big deal for the child, as long as the parents are responsive. Is this just the life of most children with working parents or does the language issue complicate matters?

interested to hear how you’d respond, because I feel like I didn’t give my friend the reassurance or sounding board she needed

Tell her not to worry. Language learning is not all linear. And of course her dd will know who her mum is. Sure she'll be fine

Is this just an attack on parents who put their kids in nursery? Cos it reads like it.

of course she knows who her mum is. Who comes to comfort her when she has nightmares? Who spends time with her one on one at weekends? Who says goodnight to her?

Of course she knows who her Mum is

It very much does.

Yes she knows who her mum is.

Bi and tri lingual kids are always a bit slower linguistically and also muddle languages - but they catch up quickly, and obviously it’s a massive benefit after that.

Ya the baby knows who her mum is. Of course they do.